Cannibal Girls

I saw this movie on it's original release at the Ypsi-Ann drive-in theater, now long gone, replaced by a strip mall on Washtenaw Avenue in the vacuous semi-urban wasteland betwixt Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti Michigan.

When I saw the title on the marquee cruising by in my rusted black '56 Buick Super I just knew we had to see it and WE HAD TO SEE IT STONED.

I wasn't disappointed - except I thought there would be more gory sex... of course I don't remember much, and it's no wonder, given the steamy windows and righteous clouds of smoke and gropes and throbs of randy teens in crowded car. I do remember thinking it was made by hippie freaks, just like us. This was before VCRs and DVDs and once it was gone you figured it was gone forever - no way this could make it back to broadcast TV, even on the late-late show. And to think technology exists to drag this out of it's crypt to yank our psychic triggers...

Before I get into the review, here are my ratings for the movie.

The story gets 1.25 out of 2: The Direction a 1: The Pacing receives a 1.25: While the Acting gets 1.25: And my Enjoyment level earns a 1.25 out of 2: This brings the total for Cannibal Girls to 6 out of 10.

The two things I took away from this film was... Eugene Levy totally rocks the afro and 'stach. And I want a Gloria for my girlfriend.

But, all kidding aside, this is a surprisingly good film. The first surprise being, it is a horror movie, and the writers Robert Sandler, Daniel Goldberg, Ivan Reitman, and the cast keep it so. The second surprise was Reitman allowed the cast to develop the dialogue, and it works wonderfully well. Since I'd not heard much about this flick, when I read this, I shook my head in anticipated dismay. But I am happy to be proved wrong.

Cannibal Girls is the story of Clifford Sturges, and his girlfriend Gloria Wellaby, who, while on a road trip find themselves stranded in a little rural township. While the mechanic repairs the car, they decided to stay over at the local motel. The motel owner tells the lovers about the strange tale of the three witches who lived in the area in years past. Unperturbed by this gory tome, the couple request directions to a restaurant. Upon their arrival, Clifford and Gloria are mystified to see the restaurant resembles an old farmhouse. Before they can leave a well-spoken and well-dressed man invites them inside. Their mystery grows he says they're expected, and their table is ready. The trouble is the restaurant only serves one dish... Meat! ...and there's something not quite right with it?

On the whole, the story isn't too bad. There are some moments, though, where it starts to drag or feel irksome. For example, one of the farmhouse guests is unrealistic to the point of stupidity. This style of humour may have worked back in 1973, but today, it falls flat. Then the whole dinner section is too long. It's only by a couple of minutes, though it does seem longer. There are a few places like these dotted throughout the film. But it's worth riding them out.

Reitman does a decent job with the direction. It's not great, but it is better than a lot out there. He tries to infuse the horror and creepy elements into the film though it misses most of the time. The creepiness comes from the actors and actresses portrayals, especially the comedic ones. There are a couple of moments when the characters appear to go insane. These are funny, and I hope it was intentional since this is a horror-comedy. Reitman shoots these segments well.

The acting is not superb, but it is bloody good. The reason it didn't score higher is that some of the lesser actors and actresses aren't so great. But, Levy as Clifford is awesome, and his repartee with Wellaby as Gloria is excellent. It's shown best in the motel scene where Gloria wants him to sing a song. Clifford wants to get a tad more amorous. Though, being a gentleman, he sings a song for her. Watch him try to find a holder for his fag. Then watch what Gloria proceeds to do with it. You aware this is something she would do, and Wellaby carries it off beautifully. And then before the song ends, Gloria's wandered off to the land of nod. And when Clifford moves her, so he can go out for a walk it's carried out in such a realistic fashion. I loved this scene.

Then you have Ronald Ulrich as the Reverend Alex St. John. He is the guy who welcomes our lovers into the restaurant. He has the ideal timbre in his voice, and his accent is so smooth that when he talks, you listen. St. John is the perfect character for him; he's the one who tells the story of the witches and the history of the town.

Cannibal Girls is an enjoyable and watchable film. Hopefully, it will lift your spirits, as it did mine, and while away an hour and a half. I would highly recommend a night in with your beloved, wrapped up in a cosy duvet, with a nice drink... or two... and this movie playing away. Hell, even if you're by yourself, get your feet up, grab a brew, and enjoy the film.

Now, since your car will be a while before it's repaired feel free to visit my Absolute Horror and Just For Laugh lists to see where these Witches landed their broomsticks in my ratings.

Take Care & Stay Well.

This is a good example of the glory days of the drive-ins and the grindhouses. Everything you wanted in those days was included. Beautiful women and nudity and blood. For those days...If you watch it now it is a funny piece to see. Just look at the clothes, mini shorts, f*** me boots in glorious white up to the knees, smoking in bed, hairstyles you can't imagine. It is even stranger that this flick never had a proper release just until a few months ago. A lot of people did search for a copy because there was something funny about it and luckily on the official DVD you can find it also, the "warning bell". each time that there is a killing you will be warned by some kind of horn of an old car. Once the so-called gore is over, you will here a bell, warning you that you ca open your eyes again. sadly, it never becomes gory, you never see the axe going into the flesh. You do see the red stuff flowing as a result. There is also a bit too much of blah blah. But overall, it's a funny piece to watch. Some of the actors still are in the business others just left it after this flick. But it is also worth watching for the fans of the director Ivan Reitman. He became a famous producer in the seventies of horror (Shivers, Death Weekend, Ilsa,...) and of blockbusters like the Ghostbusters trilogy. I guess the fans will be delighted with it's proper release.

It's not big budget, it's goofy - but I liked it. A lot of great horror movies (and I use the term "horror" loosely with this film) were low budget, starred nobodies, and shot with a sort of your-hometown look.

Cannibal Girls holds a bit of a Manson feel, as it was the buzz of the time. It was shot in rural parts of Toronto, areas which no not exist as rural any more. And it holds two big Canadian actors, who were nobody at the time - but do a great job of what they would become known for a few years later, great character actors. This is what makes it an alright film, but you have got to drop your standards of horror movies a bit to see this.

The story has a bit of an urban legend idea to it I suppose. The movie also contains something I think any true horror movie buff would think about when entering upon an odd out-of-the-way situation - don't you sometimes wonder if that hamburger, with the funky taste, you are eating at the diner in Tuckedawaytown, pop. 35, is really cow? When the film was first shown, it supposedly had a warning bell to let the "squeamish" know of impending grossness. Seeing it the first time 16 years after its original release, I didn't see any reason for bells' and whistles. I'm sure some people would have wanted that bell more with films like Zombie. However, I still wonder if cannibal girl #2 was eating a man sausage, or a MAN sausage.

Hey man, loosen up, Cannibal Girls is a cheap pseudohorror mouthful any horror buff should sample once.

There is an explanation to the disjointed and jumbled storyline. From what I read, the movie was originally made in 1971 as a cheap quickie by producers Reitman and Goldberg, largely depending on improvisation. On seeing the completed footage, they felt that they could get a good distribution deal if they made some alterations... which took about two years to complete!

So it's no wonder that with all this make-it-up-as-we-go-along for two years that the finished product makes little sense - and moves awfully slow as it tries to figure out what to do with itself. It seems to have been intended as a horror comedy, but it doesn't work as such. The comedy, apart from a couple of moments that induce small smirks, is not only bad in itself, it's delivered with almost no energy. Levy and Martin show nothing of the zaniness they brought out later in their careers.

The horror moments are marginally better; the crudeness of the production does give a few of these moments an effective grittiness. There are some other moments that could have also worked had they not been spoiled by some terrible acting (voice and posing) by the actors.

I suspect you might have guessed already that this is a bad movie, considering how the movie has never received a video release or is readily available on cable or TV (at least in the U.S.) despite its association with Levy, Martin, and Reitman. Don't expect a DVD release of it any time soon - even MGM (which now owns the A.I.P. catalog) isn't *that* desperate!