Blackenstein

I thought fellow-blaxploitation horror flick "Blacula" (1972) had slipshod production values and was campy, but, wow, it's "Citizen Kane" compared to "Blackenstein." I understand the other IMDb reviews and voters who voted this movie 1/10, a rating I usually reserve for motion pictures that lack even the most basic of technical competence, for which in many ways this one is wanting. But, I found its wretchedness to be amusing.

The story is thin, the plotting repetitive (the monster interrupts three near rapes, Malcolm exchanges way too many creepy glances, and there are far too many lingering exterior shots of Dr. Stein's residence), the science-y stuff is ludicrous. the monster is pathetically slow and his victims hilariously too stupid to just keep running away, or merely walking away at a comfortable pace, and the editing is some of the worst I've ever seen. I wonder if the film was cut for censorship or something during its violent scenes, because the version I saw was extremely choppy. But, the editing is bad all over the place. The cuts to close-ups of Malcolm and Dr. Walker, for instance, which are also poorly directed and acted--I didn't even know what the movie was trying to convey, at first, until Malcolm declared his love for her.

Like "Blacula" and its sequel "Scream Blacula Scream" (1973), "Blackenstein" has at least one nightclub interlude, where we're treated to a stand-up act and some singing. The dog joke, though, as with much of the movie, is bad, although it's not nearly as atrocious as the use of dogs in the film's conclusion. The actor playing Eddie turned the monster has his arms and legs covered by blankets in too obvious of a way during the scenes where he supposedly has no arms and legs. Choppy editing and dark lighting help hide the later makeup job, where he's made to look like a cross between Universal's Frankenstein monsters and a giant Neanderthal. Additionally, "Blackenstein" doesn't deal with anything like the racial issues that elevated the Blacula films beyond mere camp. The semi-mad doctor Stein is white, but there's also a female black doctor assistant. One detective is black, the other white. Race is never really mentioned. And you can forget about there being any intelligent reworking of Mary Shelley's novel.

But, Dr. Stein's lab is fabulous. I have nothing bad to say about it; it's all I could hope for from a low-budget, bad 1970s exploitation monster movie trying to rip-off the 1931 "Frankenstein," complete with pseudoscientific gizmos, beakers that are always burning with bubbling liquids, shadows cast on the walls, flickering lights, spinning things and other nonsense. The film's lingering and repetitive shots and scenes also are put to good use in showing off the space.

The moving has serious pacing problems, so it's pretty tough to watch. The best part of the movie is the laboratory set, which must have been where most of the budget went. There are three moments of gore involving intestines and they are not too impressive. A few strange shots might catch the eye, but they are probably ripped off from some other movie. At least Blackenstein is not a pimp or anything, though that's probably what viewers want from their campy movies. My tape is from Media. Well, I used a coupon when I bought it.

In his secret laboratory in his awesome mansion, Dr. Stein (John Hart) has been working on a new formula that rejuvenates tissue and reverses the aging process. Stein is approached by Dr. Winifred Walker (Ivory Stone) for help with her boyfriend, Eddie Turner (Joe De Sue), a Vietnam vet who has returned home minus several appendages.

Soon, mad science kicks into high gear, with machines beeping and buzzing while lightning flashes outside.

BZZZT! ZZZAPPP!

Pumped full of chemicals, Eddie undergoes Stein's "treatment". In no time, Eddie's a new man.

Uh oh!

Stein's monotone assistant, Malcolm (Roosevelt Jackson) is jealous of Eddie and Winifred. Not surprisingly, he messes with Eddie's "treatment", causing unforeseen consequences! Eddie mutates into BLACKENSTEIN! Shambling forth in all new threads, and a head like a fireplug, the monster-formerly-known-as-Eddie sets off on a bloody rampage of limb-tearing / gut-unraveling death! From this point on, no one is safe, and no woman's clothing remains intact, as unnecessary female nudity erupts!

Ludicrous in every way, this "blaxploitation" movie is hyper-schlock in its purest form. Honestly, the only thing of any true quality is the blues music on the soundtrack! Everything else is cinematic malpractice!

EXTRA POINTS FOR: #1- The monster's groovy, two-tone patent leather boots! #2- His incessant grunting! #3- The two police detectives on the case, who look more like a pawn shop owner and a game show host! #4- The "Blackenstein Meets The Doberman Gang" denouement!

Do not miss this must-see marvel of mutton-headed moviemaking!...

Eddie is a Vietnam veteran who loses his arms and legs when he steps on a land mine, but a brilliant surgeon is able to attach new limbs. Unfortunately an insanely jealous assistant (who has fallen in love with Eddie's fiancé) switches Eddie's DNA injections, transforming him into a gigantic killer.

The most interesting thing about this film is that Bud Costello is credited as the property master. Apparently at some point he came into possession of the original "Frankenstein" props. Who has them now is an even more interesting question...

Beyond that, it is just cheesy fun. This is not a great movie with great acting or plot. The scientist -- despite winning a Nobel prize -- says things that make no sense to people with a basic understanding of science...

Nothing's sacred in the world of exploitation cinema, not even Mary Shelley's legendary novel or the classic Universal make-up effects on Boris Karloff. And thank the heavens for that, otherwise we never would have seen this wondrously demented Blaxploitation interpretation of Frankenstein. "Blackenstein" is a delightfully inept movie, some would even categorize it under so-bad-it's-great, and the script goes far beyond simply copying the original Shelley tale. There are even flashes of "The Island of Dr. Moreau" to be found here and there's another mini sub-plot about a rejuvenation serum. The actual Frankenstein plot is moderately altered as well, since the mad doctors (yes, two in this case, black & white brotherly messing with Mother Nature and God's creation together!) don't intend to re-insert life into dead body parts, but supply a wounded Vietnam veteran with new arms and legs. The procedure doesn't go as planned, due to the sabotaging of a jealous assistant, and a monstrous creation arises from the operating table. The genetically altered Brutha goes on a murder rampage but his endearing wife still doesn't give up on him. "Blackenstein" is original and funny because of its ineptness, but after a while it nearly becomes unendurable to sit through. The pace slows down fast and the story reverts to boredom, the dialogs are horrible, the make-up effects are miserable and the acting performances are lamentable. Especially Roosevelt Jackson, as Malcomb the assistant, is the hammiest performer I've seen in a long time. The DVD states that the operating sequences were shot with the same and carefully persevered scenery and sets of the original Frankenstein film. That's quite difficult to believe but, as said, everything's possible in the 70's exploitation industry. "Blackenstein" is definitely not a good film, but nevertheless recommended to people with a morbid & insatiable curiosity for weird film-making.