- Jasper: I'll tell you what, Pretty Patty. You can keep that damn thing till it rots off, but I'm going over the hill to Moonbeam's, 'cause she knows what it's for and how to use it!
- Moonbeam: [talking to a piglet] Lord Hamilton, you are the hansomest fellow in the world. Seems to me you could run for President or somethin', seein's how bright you are.
- Hitchhiker: Well, that'll be fifty bucks.
- Salesman: Fifty bucks! I thought you said twentyfive?
- Hitchhiker: Well I'm only fifteen. You wouldn't wanna have it know that you raped a fifteen year old child.
- [defeated, he turns to the camera, Oliver Hardy style]
- Pretty Patty: Who are you lookin' for, Jasper?
- Jasper: Well, I was kinda lookin' for your brother, I thought he might wanna go fishin'.
- Pretty Patty: Well, he might be along just any minute now. Why don't you come and talk to me while I do my chores?
- Jasper: Well, I kinda did wanna go fishin', but, well, I guess the same fish'll be there tomorrow.