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Aliados Contra o Crime

Detective: What do you mean they're putting garbage in your car?
Man with Garbage: Every morning garbage in the front seat. You know, coffee grounds, potato peels and moldy fruit. It just gets such a mess when it gets on the floor and, you know, walking around with it slipping on your heels. It's disgusting; old chewed up bones like they had a dog or something. And one day it looked as though somebody had blown their nose in pieces of old toilet paper and wet cigarette butts and things like that. It's really disgusting, and you can't find that in your car seat every morning and live through it. My stomach turns and I really threw up several times, but not in the front seat of the car.

Det. Andy Parker: Eileen's up here on special assignment. She's a decoy for my rapist.
Det. Bert Kling: Rapist.
Det. Andy Parker: Yeah, frankly I was hoping they'd send me somebody a little bigger than you.
Det. Eileen McHenry: I'm five-eight.
Det. Andy Parker: I mean, you know, huskier
Det. Bert Kling: She's plenty husky, Andy.

Det. Andy Parker: Interrogation Room. Locker Room's down there.
Det. Eileen McHenry: What time do you want me to start?
Det. Andy Parker: Oh, who the hell knows. I don't know. I think maybe you ought to let him see you around the neighborhood. What do you think?
Det. Eileen McHenry: Yeah, maybe.
Det. Andy Parker: Okay. There's a cafeteria over on Tremont. Why don't you drop by around six o'clock, have a bite, then take a stroll for about an hour before you go to the Park.
Det. Eileen McHenry: He'll think I'm a hooker.
Det. Andy Parker: No, he won't think that. Communications over in that area. So.
Det. Eileen McHenry: You sure
Det. Andy Parker: I'm sure. You ought to see some of the miserable hookers we have around here.

Sadie: He wears this long black cape.
Det. Eileen McHenry: A cape?
Sadie: Yes! Over a tuxedo and a white dress shirt and a black bow tie and these black satin dancing slippers and he's got buttons on his fly. Five buttons.
Det. Eileen McHenry: I see.
Sadie: See he likes to unbutton his fly very slowly, one button at a time and he warns me not to scream; because, he's not going to hurt me. All he wants to do is screw me.
Det. Eileen McHenry: Yeah. Screw you.
Sadie: He looks like such a gentleman. So, naturally I never scream until he gets the last button unbuttoned. That's when he takes out his thing. So, naturally, that's when I scream.

Buck: Suppose he calls the fuzz?
The Deaf Man: Well, if he does, it'll be too late. And, anyway, they still don't know who we are - and they never will. Buck, my friend, they're called fuzz because they're ways are fuzzy and they're thinkings fuzzy. They're inept and inadequate in a nation that demands efficiency. While mankind has already taken their first enormous steps on the moon, the police are still mired in mud like the hopeless pigs they are.

The Deaf Man: Marvelous empty-headed bitch.
Buck: I think she's dangerous to have around here.
The Deaf Man: On the contrary, she calms the nerves - and relieves the every day tensions. She hasn't got the vaguest notion of what we're up to.
Buck: You know, sometimes I don't have the vaguest notion of what we're up to either.

Telephone Technician: I meant what I said, Artie. You're the best man for the job and I ain't just sayin' that 'cause you're a nigger.
Det. Arthur Brown: Oh-oh-oh, cousin, let me flip somethin' on ya. Let me straighten your act out a little. I don't want too many white folks to know this, because, they get scared, you see. But, the last dude that had the audacity to call me a nigger, I...
[walks into another room, hear the sound of a punch]

Det. Arthur Brown: Lieutenant ought to try bringing his own sweet bippy out here sometimes when its cold like this.

Tiny: Marty here shoots the way Angelo used to shoot. You remember Angelo. The cripple.
Anthony La Bresca: Oh, yeah. Angelo - yeah, Angie the Crip. Yeah!
[laughs]
Anthony La Bresca: Yeah.

Detective [Doyle-Murray]: Listen, do you want a jeep?
Detective [Elbling]: A jeep? I don't want a jeep. What for?
Detective [Doyle-Murray]: I got a friend. He gets a 100 people together and you can get surplus Army jeeps for $4.73 each.
Detective [Elbling]: I'm not interested. It's a like a portable sand dune. I don't need any of that shit, really.

Detective [Doyle-Murray]: She said *I'm* weird? I'm weird? That's the first time I ever had a chick ask me to get down and bark like a dog.
Detective [Elbling]: Well, did you?
Detective [Doyle-Murray]: Yeah, I did.
Detective [Elbling]: And?
Detective [Doyle-Murray]: A German Shepard jumped on top of me. I had to run out of the house. I couldn't get back in the house. I had to go home. My old lady said, I thought you were getting home a ten o'clock. I said the game broke up early.

Det. Steve Carella: [sitting on a park bench disguised as nuns] I'm freezing my - balls out.
Det. Meyer Meyer: Son of a bitch didn't have to ball me out that way.
Det. Steve Carella: He was pissed off at you. He had a right to be pissed off. You lost your man last night.

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