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A gang of thieves plans to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan.

A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. (Of course!) The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron, and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.—Simon N. McIntosh-Smith <Simon.N.Smith@cs.cf.ac.uk>

At Finisham Maternity Hospital, the Matron has to smooth the waters with a few ongoing issues: the hypochondria of the chief administrator Sir Bernard Cutting, which manifests itself both whenever any issue with him or of public health concerns are mentioned; and the skirt chasing of Dr. Prodd, mainly of the female nurses, most specifically Susan Ball, but even the female patients who come in for consultations. On top of these issues, she has to contend with: three week overdue Mrs. Tidey, who refuses any measure to induce labor so that she can eat the hospital out of all of their food, her false labors, one measure to avoid induced labor, which brings her harried husband, a Brit Rail flag man, racing between his job and the hospital; and her own womanly desires and needs, she secretly in love with Cutting, who doesn't even notice her in his obsession with his own health. Against this backdrop, a criminal gang led by Sid Carter is planning on robbing the hospital of its family planning drugs to be able to sell to foreign countries on the black market. On the periphery of the gang is his young adult son, Cyril Carter, who is being pressured into this criminal life by his father and being an integral part of this job as the inside person, namely to masquerade as a female nurse. Beyond hiding the facts that he is not a nurse and a man from the hospital staff and patients, he has the further problem that he falls in love with Susan.—Huggo

The last of four "Carry On" medical movies centres on the plan by a group of criminals to steal some contraceptive pills from the hospital which involves one of them (Cyril) dressing as a nurse. In this film, it is Sir Bernard (Williams) who is after Matron and not the other way around. With a great but slight appearance by Charles Hawtrey as Dr. Goode, and funny cameo appearances by Joan Sims and Kenneth Connor, the subplots in the film come together at the end when the criminals decide that tonight's the night.—Graeme Huggan <hia95gh@sheffield.ac.uk>

Sid Carter (Sid James) is the cunning head of a criminal gang that includes the long-haired drip Ernie Bragg (Bernard Bresslaw), the cheeky Freddy (Bill Maynard) and Sid's honest son, Cyril (Kenneth Cope), who does not want to live a life of crime but is emotionally blackmailed by his father into going along with his scheme to rob Finisham Maternity Hospital for its stock of contraceptive pills, which are used at the family planning clinics.

Sid says that there are countries in the world who would pay a fortune for these pills. Sid enters the hospital to understand the layout, but the hospital staff ensures that he is confined to the waiting room for expecting fathers. Sid pretends to be the husband of a woman in labor in the hospital and has to escape when the woman gives birth to twins and the hospital nurses want Sid to meet his "wife" and babies.

Cyril reluctantly disguises himself as a new nurse to case the hospital and the booty. Sid makes Cyril wear black underwear just in case someone glances underneath his skirt. However, he is assumed to be one of a batch of new student nurses who have just arrived, and is assigned the same room as the shapely, blonde nurse, Susan Ball (Barbara Windsor). Cyril is attracted to Susan. Susan sleeps naked in her bed, which makes Cyril very uncomfortable. Unfortunately for Cyril, he also catches the eye of the hospital Lothario, Dr. Prodd (Terry Scott.). Dr Prodd is infamous for ogling the student nurses & is under constant watch from the matron who wants to save the nurses from Dr Prodd's unwanted advances.

Sir Bernard Cutting (Kenneth Williams) is the hypochondriac registrar of the hospital. Cutting is convinced by the Matron that he is suffering of every disease that is currently doing the rounds in the public. The Matron claims that Cutting might have the Asian Flu or that his bowels might be giving him trouble. A routine X-Ray reveals that Cutting has a rather large pelvic area, which resembles that of a woman. Cutting is thus convinced he's undergoing a sex change.

However, when Cutting consults the nutty Dr F.A. Goode (Charles Hawtrey), Goode dishes out psychiatric Mumbo Jumbo, stating that Cutting merely wants to prove his manhood and suggests finding a suitable partner as soon as possible. Cutting realizes he is in love with Matron (Hattie Jacques). Meanwhile, it is Goode who is having an affair with the Matron. Goode visits Matron's room at night, in secret.

Matron, on the other hand, has more than enough to contend with on the wards, with the gluttonous Mrs Tidey (Joan Sims) who seems more interested in eating than producing a baby and her long-suffering British Rail worker husband Mr Tidey (Kenneth Connor) who continually hangs around the waiting room. Mrs Tidey is 3 weeks overdue and Mr Tidey complains that he has to leave work and come to the hospital, every time his wife goes into labor and there have been 9 false alarms already. Matron tells Mrs Tidey that they would have to consider inducing labor. Mrs Tidey is dead against it and throws off Dr Prodd when he tries to inject her with a labor inducing drug.

When Cyril goes back to Prodd's room to get a map of the hospital, Prodd attempts to get intimate, only to be knocked across the room. Prodd and Cyril are called out on an emergency when lovely film star Jane Darling (Valerie Leon) begins to have her baby, but as Cyril knocks Prodd out in the ambulance, he is forced to deal with the actress's triplets being born. However, Jane Darling is delighted with Cyril, and hails "the nurse" a heroine for her efforts, bringing fame to the hospital. However, Susan uncovers Cyril's disguise, but as she is in love with him, she does not reveal the truth.

Bernard tries to "prove his manhood" by having sex with Matron, but she refuses unless Bernard proposes marriage, which Bernard is unwilling to do. Bernard finds Dr Goode hiding inside the Matron's cupboard. Dr Goode & Matron had a weekly appointment to watch a TV serial together in her room, & Matron had hidden Dr Goode, when she heard Dr Bernard coming to her room. Dr Bernard naturally believed that Matron had refused him as she was having an affair with Goode.

Cyril manages to get hold of the plans to the hospital & passes them on to Sid. Sid figures out that the pills are in the basement of the hospital and that the only way to get into the basement is via the front door.

Sid finds Cyril's pictures in the papers (being described as a hero) & decides to visit him in the hospital. Cyril tells Sid that Susan knows all about their plan & Sid decides to execute the plan the same evening. Sid is chased around the hospital by Matron, who thinks Sid has attempted to force himself upon nurse Cyril.

The Sister (Jacki Piper) desperately tries to keep the ward in order, while Cutting's secretary, Miss Banks (Patsy Rowlands) keeps her employer in check, but nothing can cool his pent-up desire to prove himself as a man, and its Matron who's in his sights.

The criminal gang don disguises - Sid dresses as the foreign "Dr Zhivago" and Ernie as a heavily expectant mum. They enter the hospital citing an emergency delivery. Sid & Freddy have to enter the Matron's room to retrieve the keys to the basement medical store. But they are found by Dr Bernard, who again thinks that Matron is having an affair & is a sex fiend. The Matron convinces Dr Bernard that the men are suspicious & orders the doors to the hospital locked. Sid & co have stolen the pills but can't escape.

The medical hierarchy's threat to call the police is halted when Sid reveals the heroine of the day is a man, and the hospital realize they would suffer nationwide humiliation if anyone found out. Cyril weds his shapely nurse, Susan and Matron finally gets her doctor.