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Yolof Peterson: Excuse me, but your mother is a prostitute, your father is a crook, and your grandfather is a man with a very broad buttocks.
Pepito Tigrero: What?
Yolof Peterson: Allow me to explain. Your mother is a whore, your father is a damn thief, and your grandfather is a notorious fag.
[Yolof punches Pepito out]
Yolof Peterson: I generously spared your sister...

[first lines]
El Vasco: [squaring off by a train station, with a statuary of San Bernardino] Penguin... I'm sorry, but you cannot take our Protector away.
Yodlaf Peterson: It's the only thing of any value. I never leave empty-handed.
El Vasco: Then I'm afraid you would not be leaving at all.
Yodlaf Peterson: [narrating] Hm, poor Vasco. He already had a hole in his head where his brain should have been. At least nothing seemed to have grown in that cavity since this whole thing began.

Yolof Peterson: Your friend is right, compañero. When you're about to die, don't ask so many questions.

Yolof Peterson: If you ever come to Sweden, I'll let you meet my sister.
El Vasco: [singing] Beautiful eyes, just like the sky... just like your sister, huh?

[Xantos and Peterson are walking up the mountain, away from John and his men. Meanwhile, down below, Vasco is tied to a rock with a basket with a rat inside it strapped to his middle, and is laughing and screaming hysterically]
Yolof Peterson: Keep moving, Professor. It's only that crazy Vasco in one of his laughing fits.
Prof. Xantos: All by himself?
Yolof Peterson: He gets them often.
[They keep moving a little]
Prof. Xantos: It doesn't sound normal. Perhaps we should go back and get him.
Yolof Peterson: Oh, no, Professor, there's no time. Let's get going.
El Vasco: [laughing and sobbing] PINGUINOOOO! PINGUINOOOOOO! PINGUINO!
Prof. Xantos: I can't believe he would carry on like that all by himself without some reason.
Yolof Peterson: [getting out a pair of binoculars] All right, don't believe it. But do you see that falcon flying around down there? It means that there's a dear friend close by whom it is better to avoid.
Prof. Xantos: You mean that they are torturing him.
Yolof Peterson: If they get a hold of us... You really know the meaning of that word. So get moving.
Prof. Xantos: No. Not another step.
El Vasco: [from the bottom of the mountain] PINGUINOOO! HEEEELP! HEEEEEEEEELP!
Yolof Peterson: Look, Professor. Why do you care about a lousy bastard who wants to turn you over to Mongo to be shot?
Prof. Xantos: No man has the right to render final judgement on another man. And all mistakes can be corrected.

El Vasco: I don't care what he said anyway. But I can't tell you why we get you out of the prison.
Prof. Xantos: I know why. To have me executed by General Mongo.
El Vasco: Nahhhh. To put you on trial! General Mongo's not a common bandit. He's a man of facts, you understand? Facts! He doesn't believe in bitty-bitty words.
Prof. Xantos: You're mistaken. General Mongo will abandon you the moment he succeeds in reaching his own goal.
[Vasco laughs incredulously]
El Vasco: You don't know Mongo. Everybody knows what he wants. First, the peasants will own the land. The workers will own the factories they work in. All the riches in Mexico will be divided among the poor. And all the people like you that know how to read and write, all your fancy books will be burned 'cause we don't need 'em!

El Vasco: [Holding a turtle] Lolita, you can make a comb out of this when your hair grows out.
Lola: Métetela en el culo.
[Shove it up your ass]

Prof. Xantos: I insisted on saving you because we both belong to the same land. Can you understand that?
El Vasco: I'm not as stupid as I look like.

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