O Garanhão Italiano

Kitty and Stud's would be at least bearable if it was not so sloppily produced. You can pinpoint the exact moment where it all starts to crumble (when KItty seductively licks the blood of from Stud's hand)...The choppy, dubbed dialogue, and it's lack of solid plot (even for a porno!) kind of ruin it..The soundtrack is stellar though! The fact that Sylvester Stallone stars is literally the only reason this movie would even touch eyes beyond the editing room.

All right, this is an historical curiosity because it's Sylvester Stallone's first film. Aside from that, it's a Z-grade porn film celebrating misogyny, drug abuse and, of course, promiscuity. If one had to categorize the "plot", it's a character study of Kitty and Stud's relationship to each other. The director tries to elevate the film to art-house level by inserting overlong montages of Stallone's treks through Manhattan and flashes of a very warm-blooded woman wearing boots, a fur coat and a smile in a snow-covered city park. We watched most of the film on scan...and yes, there are multiple shots of Stallone's genitalia, which have proven to be the only lasting allure this film can boast.

The Party at Kitty and Stud's (1970)

* (out of 4)

Kitty (Henrietta Holm) and her lover Stud (Sylvester Stallone) have the greatest sex imaginable even though Stud has a bit of a temper at times. The two of them decide to have some of their friends over for a sex party.

This film would have long been forgotten had it not been for the fact that the producers got lucky and hired someone who six years later would write and star in ROCKY. That's right, this here is the notorious picture that Stallone made for $200 when he was desperate for work, living in the streets and basically just took whatever he could. Over the years the myth surrounding this film has gotten out of control with there being talk of it being a hardcore porn film. Well, that's certainly not the case but you have to give Stallone credit for at least talking about the film since so many actors try and hide things from their past.

This film is out there in a couple different versions including an "alternate" version under the title of Italian STALLION, which was obviously an attempt to cash in on the success of ROCKY and there's even music from that film that has been ripped off and placed here. It's funny to note that there's even a scene early on where Stallone is just running around a park, which, of course, would become a major piece to ROCKY when his character was running around the streets.

So, how is the actual movie? It's quite awful as it appears the director just grabbed a camera and was filming anything they could so that they could get the camera back to the rental place on time. The sex scenes are certainly never erotic and at times you're wondering to yourself what type of dope was being smoked especially during some of the bizarre and hilarious dance sequences. Just check out the circle dance towards the end and you'll see what I mean. The dialogue itself is so incredibly bad that I couldn't help but laugh incredibly hard at times. The awful dialogue pretty much makes the film worth watching.

As far as Stallone goes, well, his performance certainly isn't good but then again it's doubtful he was hired for acting. He basically just rolls around in bed with a few women, dances around naked and flexes in the mirror. Yes, he's got several full frontal nude shots here so I'm sure fans of his will want to see that. What's actually sad is that none of the sex scenes here are as laughable as the one in THE SPECIALIST so perhaps that's why Stallone is willing to freely talk about this thing. Either way, at best, this is just a curio for Stallone fans.

Looking at this film today, it's got lot less stuff in it, compare to any late night cable film. The film (ITALIAN STALLION) version seems to be cut (Playboy channel print ran 3 minutes short also, compare to the video print), as the filmmaker tacks in a ROCKY-like theme throught the film. Stallone plays stud, a guy Kitty loves as they throw a party with a bunch of drugged out losers. One guy (who resembles New York character actor Anthony Holland, could it be him?) gets stoned a says a joke about a horse, but the punchline was cut out for some reason. Stallone keep seeing this chick naked out in the New York park, also doesn't make sense. The ending is confusing as they all dance in circles. Stallone should've paid the producers of this film off to get this terrible film removed. I would like to see the original version of this film, for it would've been more interesting to see what they cut out. Not recommended.

This film was a riot drawing unintended laughs and smiles right from the start, for a while. The scenes of obvious simulated sex, naked rolling bodies, ridiculous moaning, etc. Then there were the boring parts. Many poorly done scenes could have been overlooked if they were short but when they were extended to four or five minutes, it becomes monotonous. The five minutes to rinse and dry the bloodied hand would be a case in point. Stallone's extended muscle posing, the rolling around naked, the fun house mirror, the phony, fierce beating, the orgy (so erotic that the men never had an erection,) all quickly became boring. Of course, if they had been cut, the film would be less than an hour. Everything from story to photography was subpar or ridiculous. And the pubic hair! Natural is nice but three of the women could have won a prize for the darkest, fullest, most extensive pubic hair. If they shaved, they could sell it as a complete merkin (pubic wig.) The film rates about a 2 but the humor and Sly's presence raise it to a 4.