Arma Secreta contra Matt Helm

Someone once said that Dean Martin was so laid-back he made Perry Como look like a nervous wreck. It was said if a nuclear bomb went off behind him he wouldn't even drop his martini glass. Martin and his fellow Rat-packer Frank Sinatra were among our few recording giants who achieved in films as well. Although not as good an actor as Sinatra, Martin had a charming presence on the screen and was always entertaining to watch, even when you knew he wasn't taking it too seriously. The Matt Helm films came out at the same time as Sean Connery was playing Bond and have been largely forgotten today. Martin played the reluctant spy with tongue firmly in cheek. The Wrecking Crew was the last of the four Helm films and I feel it was the best. A gold train has been hijacked by a criminal mastermind. The one billion dollar theft will cause world wide financial panic and its up to Matt Helm to save the day. Of course in any spy film of this nature, you have to have beautiful women and there are plenty here. Elke Sommer and Tina Louise light up the screen, but it is Sharon Tate who steals the show as bumbling MI5 agent Freya Carlson. I thought it was so funny how she kept getting Helm into deeper and deeper trouble, even getting him arrested at one point. She tells him "I wont desert you Mister Helm". He says "Do me a favor PLEASE DESERT ME!". However, she comes through in the end and there is a good fight scene between her and Nancy Kwan. (For trivia lovers, Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee helped to set up the fight scenes for this film). People have commented the fight scenes involving Helm are fakey, what do you expect? Dean Martin was 52 when this film was made. Sharon really stole the show in this one, in fact they later based one of the characters in the Austin Powers films on her character here. This was her last film before she was murdered by the Charles Manson family. Its chilling when you watch it and think of how horribly her life ended.

Too bad Dean Martin gave up on Matt Helm just as James Bond was in chaos in the wake of Sean Connery's departure... In 1969, the new Bond was an unknown and only had one true lady with "man appeal" on his side; Emma Peel herself, Miss Diana Rigg! Helm had all kinds of chicks, especially the sublime Miss Sharon Tate... On that advantage alone, Matt Helm could have overtaken James Bond's spot! Alas such a feat had to be accomplished by a total parody such as Powers many years later... Mind-boggling too when one considers the fact that Powers never had anyone even remotely close to the elegance of a Rigg or Tate next to his ridiculous frame...!

Matt Helm though -just as James Coburn's Our Man Flint series- was a far more subtle parody of the Bond myth... Thus worthier of eclipsing it than the ridiculous farce that Austin Powers and his mojo are! History tells us though that both Helm and Flint failed... and Powers is the one to finally outsell at the box-office the once-invincible Bond...

Dino was 51 and smooching ridiculously hot actresses half his age when he did The Wrecking Crew, one of the all-time cringeworthy films but still fun. A fifth Helm was planned but Martin bowed out. The entire total-escapist series was written, produced and directed by a team that owed its sensibilities and point of view to the men's magazines of the late 50s and 60s and took very little from Hamilton's novels. It made fantasy logic that his cover was a glamour magazine photographer pursued at first sight by gorgeous models. I saw them all at the movies and dreaded the moments when Dean would croon a tune. The supporting players were always great pros and the actresses were all fantasy women. In this final entry, James Gregory (Matt's boss McDonald) is replaced by John Larch and while Larch was a fine actor, Gregory's rich baritone is missed. Someone must have watched Deadlier Than The Male, a much better film than any of the Helm movies, because Elke Sommer and Nigel Green, the lethal duo from Deadlier, essentially reprise their roles. The opening theme song ("Ah So, Ah So") was embarrassing 50 years ago. Otherwise, Montenegro's music was memorable at times. The production values are top-notch, for the most part. The hand-to-hand fight scenes were poorly choreographed, performed, shot and edited even though the great Bruce Lee was involved. The only sad note about this film is the fate of lovely Sharon Tate who has a substantial role, exploited this year by Tarantino in his uber-fantasy Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

Much better than the previous 2 Matt Helm films, but not as good as the first, THE SILENCERS. THE WRECKING CREW was directed by PHIL KARLSON as was the first Matt Helm movie 3 years earlier. This time around, Matt Helm (DEAN MARTIN) is sent to Denmark to immobilize Count Contini (NIGEL GREEN) who has hijacked a fortune in gold bullion. Assisting Helm is eager, but bumbling Freya Carlson (SHARON TATE). Freya is more of a hindrance than a help however. Contini's former flame Lola Medina (TINA LOUISE)is willing to provide pertinent information to Helm, for a cut of the action. She is killed though before she can tell him anything by a bomb laden bottle of scotch placed in her bar by Contini's current paramour Linka (ELKE SOMMER). Another beauty in the Count's arsenal is Yu Rang (NANCY KWAN). Contini tries to buy Helm off, but when that is unsuccessful, resorts to a dozen lame brained attempts to murder him. Will Helm triumph over the evil Count Contini ? What do you think ? One of the reasons that this movie is better than the previous 2 is that Helm is giving a female sidekick that is funny. As in THE SILENCERS where you had klutzy Gale Hendricks (STELLA STEVENS), here you have Freya (SHARON TATE) in a similar role. Neither MURDERERS ROW, nor THE AMBUSHERS had that. And TATE, although only 25 when this was made, showed very funny comedic ability. The production dollars spent appear less than in all 3 prior Helm flicks. In a scene where Helm is sparring with one of Contini's men outside of the Count's chateau, the artificial grass fold up like a rug. The interior sets look like something from a porno movie. The fight scenes are slow, and obvious. At 51, MARTIN was getting a little old for this kind of thing. Plus, JAMES BOND aside, ersatz "Spy Films" were on their way out. If you watch the credits at the end, you'll see a notice that states : Matt Helm will be back in THE RAVAGERS. Alas, it was not to be. This genre had run its gamut and what a schmaltzy time it was !!!

In this one, Matt Helm's antagonist is Count Contini, a gold smuggler, played by Nigel Green. He is aided by his gang of thugs and two female sidekicks, Linka (Elke Sommer) and Gwen Ya-Rang (Nancy Kwan). As might be expected, both try to seduce Matt, offering fake carrots. Interestingly for a Matt Helm movie, however, Linka is a rare woman in Matt's orbit who is the recipient, rather than initiator, of the first display of interest. Earlier, there is a nice scene in which Lola Medini (Tina Louise), a former associate of Contina, seduces Matt in connection with the intrigue.

Ultimately, it is Freya Carlson (Sharon Tate) who gets her man. She is a Danish tourist agent who leads Matt around in fulfilling his duties. Like Stella Stevens in "The Silencers," she is initially quite clumsy, and is involved in a nice wetlook scene (actually, so is Linka). Freya helps Matt foil the villains.

I'm focusing mostly on the women here, but hey, you can hardly beat this bunch in this male fantasy series. The only Bond movie that can rival this group is "Thunderball."