Lua de Mel de Assassinos

Chubby ex-nurse Martha Beck over-eats and gets confused as she and gigolo boyfriend Ray Fernandez murder their way across the Northeast.

No doubt about it, the movie's a sleezeball masterpiece. There's maybe one likable character in the whole hundred-minutes-- a prison guard, of all people, and she has maybe all of five lines. The rest are either slimy (Ray), monstrous (Martha) or pathetic (the victims). Only an indie production would dare combine such ugly photography with such a succession of dismal characters. But, for a real shudder, imagine how a Hollywood studio would have prettified the same movie.

Nonetheless, the sleeze has genuine style behind it, along with two tacky Oscars for the leads. As Ray, Lo Bianco exudes more oily charm than a BP platform, while a stretched-out Martha (Stoler) resembles nothing less than a beached whale. Just the thought of the two of them clinching is enough to sound an environmental alarm. And the fact that the kinkiest things turn them on makes the picture even worse and not even their "mad love" helps.

I don't know how many movie details are based on fact, but two of the murder scenes are genuinely ugly. And the fact that it's nurse Martha, not the squeamish Ray, who handles the messes says a lot about gender equality. Most chilling to me, is the fact that these two psychos merrily bludgeon, shoot, and poison their way from one place to the next with nary a police siren in sight. It's almost like they're planning a vacation itinerary from one murder site to the next. In fact, it's a betrayed Martha who finally puts a stop to things.

Anyhow, no movie I know makes crime and murder any more sordid than this one. And in my little book, that's a genuine achievement. Plus, I think the movie changed my mind about the merits of capital punishment.

Based on the true story of Raymond Fernandez and Martha Beck, who met through a lonely-hearts correspondence club, Ray (Tony Lo Bianco) is sleazy and untrustworthy; Martha (Shirley Stoler) is obese, compulsive, and needy. Together, they play out a horrifying scheme in which he lures lonely women out on dates and proposes marriage to them, while she pretends to be his sister. After the marriage ceremonies, they take the womens savings and then murder them in cold blood.

The way this film is shot, with its grainy black and white footage, murky sound, bright whites and dark shadows, only adds to its incredibly unsettling nature. Watching this is almost like watching a documentary, and occasionally, a snuff film.

Though the acting from the supporting cast is a bit iffy at times, the two leads are excellent. Particularly Shirley Stoller. While Lo Bianco creates one of the most hateful slime-balls I've ever seen, Stoller dominates this film. Her Martha is a frightening, unpleasant, disgusting woman, who is as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside. Her evil nature fills the frame whenever she is on screen.

If you're looking for a fast paced thriller, look elsewhere. The pacing in this movie is slow, which only adds to the disturbing documentary feel. But if you want to see a movie where character comes first, and action second, seek this classic out.

'The Honeymoon Killers' is easily one of the most underrated movies of all time. Often unfairly ignored as "just" a b-movie, or half remembered as trivia - the movie Scorsese nearly directed - it is in fact close to perfect, and one of the finest of all American movies dealing with murder. Why writer/director Leonard Kastle didn't make any other movies after this brilliant debut is both a mystery and a tragedy. His work is so impressive and fresh here, who knows what he could have been capable of. He may have turned out to be one of the greats, and even rivaled Scorsese, or Coppola, both having had a similar starts with low budget genre material (see 'Bloody Mama' and 'Dementia 13', their respective collaborations with king of the quickies Roger Corman).

The late Shirley Stoler is a knockout as bored nurse Martha Beck, and Tony Lo Bianco is equally impressive as her Spanish con man boyfriend Raymond Fernandez. Sadly neither actor got the career breaks they deserved. Stoler had small supporting roles in credible movies like 'Klute' and 'The Deer Hunter', and cult favourites like 'Frankenhooker' and 'Miami Blues', but always seemed to overlooked because of her weight. Lo Bianco starred in excellent sleepers like 'The Seven-Ups' and 'God Told Me To', but more often than not ended up as second-Mafioso-on-the-left in crappy movies like 'Boiling Point' and 'The Juror'. Too bad, both are brilliant here and had the potential to go on to better things.

'The Honeymoon Killers' is a minor masterpiece and should be essential viewing for all movie buffs. Don't miss this one!

I went downtown to see some widescreen extravaganza at a Duplex Cinema and when I bought my ticket realized I'd been standing in the wrong line. (The story of my life.) Instead of seeing some technicolorama epic I wound up seeing this, a cheap black-and-white true crime story.

Well, felix culpa! I emerged shocked. At the time of its release there was nothing quite like it. Two small-time murdering cons deeply in love with one another in some twisted kind of way. Balding, overacting Tony Lo Bianco. Plumply menacing battleaxe of a nurse, Shirley Stoler. The photography is grainy and primitive. Indoor lamps don't simply cast light -- they glare. The movie's idea of a proper family home looks like something that might be owned by a worker in the Pabst Brewery in Newark.

Lo Bianco as Ray is a minor Latin con type, adroit with lonely women, while Stoler, as Martha Beck (great name) is the passionate one, filled with jealousy and rage. I don't know if the victims were supposed to be seen as somehow contemptible, what with their obtuseness and whining, but we never forget that we're dealing with human beings here. The first murder is relatively genteel. Death on a bus follows a poisoning. The next is bone-chilling. To appreciate the shock value of the violence a viewer needs to remember that this was filmed before all the extended gore and homicides we see now in movies like "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer," "Atlantic City," and "Torn Curtain."

Previously, when the victim was whacked hard on the head with a claw hammer, he or she slumped forward, decorously dead. Not here. As in "The Assassination of Trotsky," the victim is momentarily stunned, then recovers screaming. The second homicide involves the only use of a directorial touch unusual enough to draw attention to itself. The victim is lying on her back in bed while her two attackers discuss the best way to murder her. The camera concentrates on her uncomprehending and frightened eyes flicking from side to side, then a sharp pan to a pistol pressed against her head, and the sound of a shot. (A contemporary review of the film criticized one of the scenes because we could hear Ray urinating into the toilet bowl offscreen.)

The last duet of murders exceeds the limits of any sympathy we might have felt towards the lovers. Ray has promised Martha that he's not going to boff the last victim, whereas, it is revealed, he's been unfaithful -- to Martha, that is. Well, that's enough for Martha. After disposing of both her last rival and child she drops the dime on the two of them. If she can't own Ray exclusively then no one's going to have a piece of him. Ray writes her a love letter in jail. His ability to forgive is almost religious in its magnitude. Either that or he just can't stop telling lies.

This is a true story, and it has the digressions and non sequiturs we find in a real-life script. People get into unexpected and awkward arguments that are accidentally heard offscreen. Ray's sleep is constantly interrupted by Martha arguing with a victim in the next bedroom. The fact that this is based on real events make it all the more scary. Skip Freddy and the rest if you want to be scared out of your wits. Catch this instead.

This dark humorous thriller about a fat nurse and a Spanish gigolo who murder rich but lonely women was recently shown in the midnight program on German cable. "Honeymoon Killers" is based on a true story that happened in the 1940s and still belongs to the most peculiar cases in the history of American crime!

Beverly Stoler plays Martha, an overweight nurse, who leads a boring life with her senile mother and her pesky neighbour. One day she gets to know Ray, a marriage impostor of Spanish origin. Both become lovers as well as partners in crime and they start to cheat and to kill wealthy ladies...

A great film that seeded much too long in the archives! Only a little number of persons know this flick, although it doesn´t need to hide behind other movies about serial killers like "Henry" or even Hitchcock´s "Psycho".

But it´s more than that: "Honeymoon Killers" is a brilliant satire as well as the most bizarre love story I´ve ever seen!!!