"Hell's Angels '69" takes the premise of "The Thomas Crown Affair" and re-tools it as a biker flick. It's a clever idea, and "Hell's Angels '69" is better than most biker flicks from this period, with a bit more story, character development and subtext. Unfortunately, it's still not much of a movie.
The movie's first misstep is revealing its hand from the beginning: Tom Stern and Jeremy Slate are crooks, not "real" bikers. Knowing this from the get-go removes an element of mystery, and the story might have been a bit more interesting had this fact been revealed later. Then again, the moment Stern and Slate hook up with the Hell's Angels -- featuring actual members of the notorious biker gang -- it's obvious they're not the rough n' tough bikers they claim to be. A big tip off: Slate asks the gang's sole "old lady," Conny Van Dyke, if she's ever considered settling down, getting married and raising children. Van Dyke is too clean-cut looking to really pass as a jaded biker chick (she looks much more at home in the powder blue dress and low-heeled pumps she dons later in the movie), but since that's the role she's playing one would assume she'd become suspicious when Slate starts talking like a high school guidance counselor. Apparently, these Angels were so impressed by Stern and Slate's bike tricks ("Watch this!") they're willing to overlook the guys' square tendencies.
Another misstep -- and one I'm surprised was allowed to happen -- is featuring real Hell's Angels and sanitizing them. In this movie, the gang just likes drinking Olys, riding their choppers and perpetrating vandalism, pretty much in that order. The guys get nasty in the final act, but for much of the movie they're presented as nothing more than 1950s juvenile delinquents with beards and a fondness for Nazi memorabilia.
Finally, "Hell's Angels '69" makes the same mistake of almost all biker movies: overestimating the entertainment value of guys riding bikes. You get plenty of footage of the gang riding down two-lane highways, riding through Vegas, riding through the desert, and, of course, riding through town while frightened squares look on. Yeah, they're bikers, we get it, but a little goes a long way, and it makes "Hell's Angels '69" go on a little too long.
