Astro-Zombies

Despite the fact that he had the greatest voice (not to mention the best wild-eyed leer!) of all the 1930s/'40s-era horror actors, he was given very little to do in the low-budget films in which he so often starred during the latter part of his career. "The Astro-Zombies" is no exception. Dressed in a white lab coat that hangs loosely on his skeletal frame, Carradine performs all his scenes on a cheap-looking dungeon set. Most of his lines are gibberish: "Activate the sonic transmogriceptor!" and so forth. There is some fun to be found elsewhere in the film, as Carradine's berserk astro-zombies wreak havoc throughout the city; there's even some gore and partial nudity (the very comely blonde chick who does a topless dance routine covered in wacky, multicolored body paint). The subplot involving foreign spies is painfully dull, however, and poorly acted by Tura Satana and her cornball henchmen. Don't expect too much...just enjoy the film for the grade-Z nonsense it is.

When I read that this was thought of by some reviewers as the worst film in history along with John Carradine headlining this act I figured why not give this thing a watch. I must say that no I don't think it's the worst film I have ever seen, but boy it is close. It starts with you guessed it a bad opening and when you thought the first 20 minutes were enough to sink this mess it just gets worse.

To give you an idea of the story over the last six months murders have been occurring that is when it sort of gets the feel of a hokey 50s sci-fi/horror cornball movie. Poor old John Carradine (who must have agreed to any script he was given) plays Dr. DeMarco who sadly just turns knobs and spouts out pages of dialogue. For it is he who is creating these Astro-Zombies.

Death scenes are poorly executed and we the viewer need Dr. DeMarco to injected some excitement into this movie. It sounds when reading the plot that it may not be too bad on the excitement scale, but it is just a boring movie really.

Based on screenplay by the director Ted V. Mikels and Wayne Rogers (who I remember as Trapper from the great TV show M.A.S.H.). I would suggest watching that show instead.

The Astro Zombie is a man in a rubber mask. The Male leads try to keep a straight face while spouting ridiculous dialogue. Tura Satana wears exotic outfits, makeup and eyelashes which gives the movie some camp appeal. You'll have a hard time figuring out the plot. It's shocking to see the depths Wendell Corey had descended to but he was probably too sozzled to care. The women scream a lot especially when the Astro Zombie tries to rip their clothes off. John Carradine bumbles around in his laboratory endlessly. The opening and closing credits are shot over film of toy robots and tanks. If you thought Ed Wood made bad films wait until you see this. I'll never part with my video copy though!

Okay, this movie really sucks and not many people are gonna tell you any different. Even though I had some fun watching Astro Zombies, I know it is a worthless piece of sheet! It's just amazingly so horrible that I actually laughed at it and enjoyed doing so. I think that's what it was intended to do was to make people laugh at its stupidness.

If you are a John Carradine fan, then you must watch this film. Otherwise you more than likely will absolutely hate it and most people won't even make it 30 minutes into the movie. There is no need to get into plot, acting, or effects because there really isn't any to talk about! If you can take this movie for what it is, and that is to not be serious, and if you enjoy watching really campy films, then you may just possibly enjoy this little bundle of joy...but don't count on it!

As I watched this film, I couldn't help but think that leading man Wendell Corey looked intoxicated throughout the movie--acting listless and somewhat slurred in speech. So, I did a search on the net and read up on Corey's life--discovering that the same year he made this film he also died from cirrhosis of the liver as a result of alcoholism. What a sad end to what had been a good career. Corey had been mostly a supporting actor in the late 40s and into the 50s--steady and effective in his films. Here, though, he was blundering through his lines in a grade-z sci-fi yarn. Oddly, despite getting top billing, he's not in the film that much--perhaps he died before it was completed.

John Carradine is also in the film, but that isn't nearly as sad as Corey, as Carradine made a career out of appearing in bad films, so this seems to be right up his alley! It is truly an awful film--with practically no budget, ketchup for blood and acting that seems amateur at best. You know it's a bad film when Carradine is probably the BEST actor among them.

Here is the plot: American scientists have been working on creating "astro-zombies". In essence, robots that follow mental commands over great distances--so that humans on Earth can control these droids in space. The problem is, a mad scientist (Carradine) has gone missing and many mutilated bodies begin appearing. Could it be Carradine or the Commies or both?!

One of the few strengths about the film is the head "baddie". This woman should probably have gotten a fashion makeover, but I still loved her style--no debating--just shooting people. And, when she shoots them, she shoots them again and again--pumping bullets into the lifeless bodies just to be 100% sure they are dead. For once, we seem to have an intelligent villain--too bad she's starring in such an unintelligent film!! And, too bad that she conveniently forgets to do this at the very end--when she SHOULD have unloaded a full clip into her victim! The biggest deficit (and there are many) is that the film is so dull. Cheap does not mean that it must be dull. Even bad films such as PLAN 9 or TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE are fun to watch because of their ineptness and because they try so hard to be entertaining. This one, sadly, isn't bad enough to be good for a laugh.

Not surprisingly, the film is from Ted Mikels--one of the best bad film makers that ever lived. Clearly, he was the rival of the likes of Larry Buchanan, Ed Wood and Al Adamson. If you don't believe me, understand that "The Astro-Zombies" is among his BEST films!!