- [the tutor asks David Cookson how to revive a patient who has collapsed under anaesthetic. David gives the wrong answer]
- David Cookson: I'll get the hang of it, sir, I promise.
- Dental Instructor: You'll either get the hang of it or else you'll hang for it.
- Mr. Watling: It is a moose jaw. Cervidae group. Like the common cow, it has no teeth at the front of the upper jaw.
- Sam Field: Just like Ethel's mother.
- Mr. Watling: I beg your pardon.
- Sam Field: Common cow. No teeth at the front.
- David Cookson: And what can we do for you?
- Young Man in Surgery: Well, whatever it is, be careful. I am a haemophiliac.
- Sam Field: Don't worry, mate. In a couple of years it'll all be legal.
- David Cookson: The patient says he's a haemophiliac. That means he suffers from post-extraction hemorrhage.
- Young Man in Surgery: That's right. I'm a bleeder.
- Sam Field: Well, none of us is perfect.
- Mr. Watling: You have two days to make up your minds whether you're going to be rotten dentists or pheasant-pluckers.
- [Sam Field is masquerading as a fictitious student John Sam. The instructor is not impressed with his efforts in class]
- Dental Instructor: Would you like to hear the substance of my report to the Dean? "Lecturer's Report, 18th instant. Dear Sir. The student John Sam appears to me to be the epitome of all that is retrogressive and reprehensible. He is vacuous, indolent, disputatious and completely illiterate. He is, in your own splendid phrase, Sir, 'a perfect coagulation of the plasma'."
- Sam Field: [shaking the instructor's hand] And I thought you didn't like me. What does that mean, Sir, 'a coagulation of the plasma'?
- Dental Instructor: A clot.