A Vênus de Carne

"I Married a Woman" is a most unusual movie in 1956...in addition to having a pretty dumb title. After being made, it sat on the shelf for two years before ultimately being released. Usually this means the film is god-awful and the studio is afraid to release it. But in this case it happened because the studio, RKO, was in a financial crisis and suspended production on everything! And so, they sat until eventually some deal was made to have Universal Studios release the films.

In "I Married a Woman", George Gobel plays a very boring man, Mickey Briggs, who is married to a knock-out wife, Janice (Diana Dors). Despite this, he seems mostly indifferent to the woman and thinks mostly about work....even though most men would envy him for having such a pretty wife. For instance, in one part of the film, she wants to go see a romantic film...and Mickey acts as if he's being forced to eat glass when he goes with her! And, again and again, Janice laments that Mickey is so indifferent to her...and she wishes he was like he used to be when they were dating. It's so bad that Janice even tries to make him jealous...just to get SOME sort of reaction! Later, she thinks Mickey's indifference is because he's been cheating on her...mostly because she's been egged on by her awful mother! This is an interesting reversal...something audiences probably didn't expect! What's next? See the film....and see just how bad the Briggs marriage become.

So is this any good? Well, yes and no. I like the general idea of the film. But I also must say that after a while I felt a bit annoyed by the film, as the characters seemed like jerks. Mickey was a very inattentive husband. Phyllis was a very annoying wife. And Phyllis' wife needed a good kick in the pants! I don't normally feel this way when I watch a film....and I think the writers didn't quite hit the mark and they should have softened the characters a bit. As a result, the film felt more like a sitcom than a movie. However, I did enjoy John Wayne's cameos...particularly the one at the end of the picture!

Diana dors is hot! But that's all! The writing is so bad, and the lead actor is so annoying, I can't dumb myself down to watch. I did watch the film, but I kept saying aloud, "this is so dumb!" The writing and characters are so weak and dumb. Had potential but I watched and it's so bad.

I Married a Woman was made in 1958 at the height of George Gobel's career. George is playing his usual henpecked character from television with an overbearing boss, an interfering mother-in-law, a dissatisfied advertising client and a few other things that make his life an adventure. But if you were married to the statuesque Diana Dors, somehow a lot of those problems would seem small. They don't for Mr. Gobel.

Gobel was a very big name in television at this time with a Saturday night variety show for NBC at 10:00 pm. I still remember from my youth the booming TV announcer for NBC announcing their fabulous Saturday night line up of COMO, CAESAR, GOBEL. It was sure superior to NBC's line up now.

Watching George Gobel for me is a piece of nostalgia. And looking at the shapely Diana Dors in a tight dress is reason enough itself to watch this film. Gobel's humor doesn't quite translate to the big screen however. You get the feeling you're watching one long skit from his old TV show.

One of the gags that doesn't quite work is have John Wayne make an unbilled appearance as Diana Dors's idea of a romantic leading man. Romantic? John Wayne? Wayne makes two appearances in the film. In a movie theater where Gobel and Dors are watching the Duke and Angie Dickinson mouthing some meaningless romantic dialog with the Duke looking quite debonair.

I have to believe that this was a gag meant for someone like Cary Grant or Tyrone Power who were great romantics on the screen. The Duke just looks ridiculous doing this. Maybe that in itself was a gag.

I'll let you be the judge if you see this film.

This is probably more fun now than it was when it came out.

It's a bit of black and white nostalgia now. Then, it was a showpiece for George Gobel, improbably married to sexbomb Diana Dors -- I guess that was the "joke."

Jessie Royce Landis is fun, as always, and the supporting cast supports very well.

It's by no means awful. It's kind of a man's fantasy about being a wimp who's adored by a gorgeous girl -- not unlike the better and better known "Seven Year Itch."

When the biggest name in Hollywood gets a pivotal role, but is unbilled, there is something unusual happening.

It gives away nothing to mention that the great John Wayne plays John Wayne in a movie within the movie, and his movie is color within the black-and-white "I Married A Woman."

The other surprise, to me, was the ability demonstrated by George Gobel. I had seen some of his TV shows in some of my TV history classes, and never had the slightest suspicion he was a talented actor as well as variety show host. He's also a very nice-looking guy, even if shorter than his leading lady.

In "I Married A Woman" (and what a woman: the gorgeous Diana Dors!), Gobel reminds me a lot of Harry Langdon as the rather hapless and put-upon husband and advertising agency executive.

The Duke shows up rather early when the married couple take in a movie, "Forever and Forever and Forever," which would have been a really interesting role for Wayne.

That marvelous actor Adolphe Menjou is the ad company boss and is, of course, superb, a delight as always.

William Redfield shows strength in a nicely written part of elevator operator and law student. He is so great in this role, I don't understand why he didn't become a big star.

Several other major talents and some recognizable faces round out a very capable cast, few of whom are household names today.

The directing could have been tighter, but there are no major gaffes or holes; the script was well-enough written, as one would expect from Goodman Ace, but probably can't be considered one of the 100 greatest.

Still, "I Married A Woman" is fun and surprising and it has some beauty and warmth. It played on Turner Classic Movies on 18 June 2015. Next time it's presented, I hope you can see it.