- Daffy Duck: Try not to trip me up with those big feet, please.
- Bugs Bunny: I'll try, Daffy.
- Daffy Duck: We're on!
- [first lines]
- Daffy Duck: [a taxi pulls up to a theatre and Daffy steps out] How much, my good man?
- Taxi Driver: Uh, one block, 25 cents.
- Daffy Duck: 25 cents? It's robbery, but I'll pay it. But you get NO gratuity. It's enough that you've had the honor of having a celebrity like me in your hack. Daffy Duck, star of this show.
- Daffy Duck: There can only be one explanation for white tile in a dressing room.
- [Daffy turns a sign around on door, that reads MEN]
- Daffy Duck: And that's it.
- Daffy Duck: [as Daffy is booby-trapping Bugs' xylophone] When he strikes this note, instead of a xylophone, he'll be playing a harp.
- [Daffy does an evil laugh]
- [last lines; Daffy has blown himself up for a grand finale; the audience cheers]
- Bugs Bunny: [starts clapping] That's terrific, Daffy! They loved it. They want more.
- Daffy Duck: [as a ghost rising to heaven] I know, I know, but I can only do it once.
- Stage Manager: But Daffy, we bill according to drawing power.
- Daffy Duck: Oh, yeah? That rabbit couldn't draw flies if he was covered with syrup. Okay, this performance will prove I'm a star.
- Daffy Duck: [after Bugs does a brief tap dance to "Shave and a Haircut", which gets enormous applause] Hardy, har, har. If they like that mess, they're starving for some REAL hoofin'! Maestro, if you please. E flat, from the top.
- [Daffy tap dances to "Jeepers Creepers";' after Daffy concludes his dance, he was not applauded]
- Daffy Duck: Ingrates!
- Daffy Duck: [shouts] Don't applaud him! Look! I'm not cut in half! Stop applauding! It's a fake!
- [When Daffy lifts his torso, he realizes that Bugs did saw him in half]
- Daffy Duck: [to the audience] Good thing I got Blue Cross.
- Bugs Bunny: Now with your kind indulge, I'll play, those endearing young charms.
- [Bugs Bunny plays the xylophone off key]
- Daffy Duck: That's wrong you dumb bunny! Try it again!
- [Bugs Bunny plays the xylophone off key again]
- Daffy Duck: OOH! No no! You stupid rabbit! Like this!
- [Daffy Duck plays the xylophone correctly but the dynamite blows up on him and his loses his feathers and his beak falls off and the xylophone finishes the tune]