Il pianeta errante

So Glad I finally caught this on the DVD double bill with Creation Of The Humanoids . I saw the trailer for this at a grindhouse in the seventies after the release of Star Wars. Obviously some cheap distributor dusted it off the shelf and reissued it with a Star Wars like title to pair up with another sci-fi. I remember the audience howling at the preview especially when the astronuts start hacking up the a.liens which are nothing more than plastic tubes filled with strawberry Jello. Ever since I've been trying to find it. As Space operas go it's not the best and it's not the worst. It's certainly a time capsule of everything sixties .AnTonio Marghetti seemed to be the go to guy for these psychedelic mash ups of James Bond and George Jetson starting in 1960 with Space Men and ending in the early seventies(I think) with The SNow Devils AKA The Blue Devils. My favorite in the series is Wild Wild Planet with it's four armed assassins and biosphere of blood. Most of these would grace the late night air waves when the insomniacs and users of contraband were up and wanting something different. If you like em cheap and Campy you could do worse, As for really boring cinema try The Dead Talk,The Incredible Petrified World, Treasure Of El Cortez, Or That Man From Harlem.

If televisions were still blessed with rabbit ears, this movie would have driven me to a tug-of-war between man and machine--ending with the loser embarking on a hasty trip to outer space. An asteroid of less than mammoth proportions is released from its intergalactic moorings and is sent hurtling toward Earth. Needless to say, havoc and chaos ensues. It usually does. And a crack crew is sent up to investigate and advise on the situation. The sets and props have an old "Tommorrowland" feel about them. I can't tell if any of the actors are giving good performances. They're all dubbed. And poorly at that. I do recognize the lead actor as the fellow who played Vincent Price's nemesis in Last Man on Earth. But just when you think all is lost, the final scene arrives like a wayward rescue craft. The movie, in need of repair, saves itself with a scene so well shot, so well staged, and so well scored, it will leave you speechless. And later it will leave you muttering to yourself..."what could have been...what could have been." Blast off!

Remember that sci-fi skit you and your buddies made up and performed in front of your third grade class? Someone made it into a movie. Minus the good parts. This is one of those films you keep watching because you expect it to get better. It never does. If you go out for refreshment you may not want to come back.

Wow. If you're a psychotronics lover you've probably seen this one, but if not, check it out. Where a lot of psychotronics is Bad Cinema in an aggressive, assaultive way that makes your face hurt after 10 minutes (eg, Diabolik, Manos the Hands of Fate, et al), this one is B-A-D in that adorably, lovably, absurdly silly way that just makes you smile and think, "Wow, adults made this." For an old duffer like me, who grew up watching Rocky Jones and Diver Dan and Fireball XL5 and finally Star Trek, this is manna. Everything about it--the cars, the buildings, the toy rockets, the toy space station, the queeny Z-grade Italian actors and the visible wires holding them up when they go "weightless in space"--is wonderful. Lots of hipsters have worked very hard to make sci-fi and monster movies this miraculously cheesy, and failed utterly, because this kind of stoopit genius cannot be faked or imitated. It must simply be appreciated.

The years 1965 and '66 were busy times for Italian director Antonio Margheriti, working, as he was, on no less than three shlock classics in the spaghetti sci-fi genre (amongst other projects!). Those three films were "The Wild, Wild Planet," "The War of the Planets" and "War Between the Planets," and for those who prefer their spaghetti covered with loads of grated cheese, these films will surely fit the bill. "War Between the Planets" (1966) is fairly representative of the lot. In this one, a 25-mile-wide rogue asteroid (hardly a planet at all) approaches Earth and causes widespread catastrophes due to its gravitational fluctuations, so a United Democracies space team, under the command of granite-jawed Rod Jackson, sets out from the Gamma 1 spacewheel to destroy the darn thing. Typical for these rigatoni space operas, the FX on display are cheaply realized and often laffable, but that is not the problem here; tacky FX can often be endearing. More problematic is the lackluster script and the often confusing, often boring "action" sequences. Half the dialogue of the film seems to be comprised of technobabble (such as "Checker feed is a constant 100 propulsion," "Recon Gamma, keep your flight course on 0800," "Come in on gyro," "Correct our position by 22 degrees on your quadrant 6"), and that sort of gobbledygook gets old pretty quickly. Even worse, many of the film's plot points (such as a love triangle of sorts that Jackson is involved in, and that switched-helmet confusion at the picture's end) fizzle out to nothingness, and the matter of the rogue asteroid being, apparently, a living thing, a la Solaris, with a breathing, jellylike surface and cablelike arteries that bleed when cut, is never even discussed! In the lead role, Giacomo Rossi-Stuart is thoroughly unlikable as the butt-clenched Jackson, a factor that might have torpedoed this film all on its ownsome; the actor would be much more sympathetic that same year in the Mario Bava masterpiece "Kill, Baby, Kill." So is there ANYTHING that I did enjoy about this deep-space pasta? Well, I suppose some of the background music was kinda freaky, and Ombretta Colli (as Gamma 1's resident redheaded space babe, Terry Sanchez) was sorta hot, and that antimatter explosion at the end, all two seconds of it, looked pretty cool. And that's really about it! Basically, "War Between the Planets" is as stultifying as sci-fi gets, and is best observed by those under the influence of some ergot-based concoction....