Simbad, O Tirano do Deserto

in the version i saw, ali baba and the seven saracens, the actors did not so much "act" as they walked around and shouted lines in the ear of the person standing next to them --- lines such as "swine dog, if i ever see your face again i will kill you. now go away and fetch me my dinner" and "no, really, nothing is wrong. AAAAA!!! AAAA!!! no, its nothing. AAAA!!! AAA!!! AAA!!! i tell you its nothing. AAAA!!!"

however it may not be the fault of the actors, considering the english dubbing is worse than any japanese horror flick.

ali baba falls in love with a girl who saves his life. he soon gets captured (read: gets knocked out by getting hit in the head by a pole) which stalls his chances to overthrow omar, a clint eastwood type who broods a lot, yells a lot, and likes to walk around topless. off the the dungeon goes ali baba.

meanwhile omar discovers that in order to become accepted by the magi and become faja (your guess is as good as mine) he must fight the saracens when "the moon blocks the light of the sun."

before i continue i must mention the orchestration which seems to go by the rule "fill any silence with a horn and a cymbal" and on occasion you can actually hear the dialogue clearly.

okay. while fatima, the girl ali baba loves, is taken to a dungeon over-seen by a shawl-encrusted nymph with a whip, ali baba befriends a midget who is impressed by ali's manliness. the midget, named "jookie", crawls through the air vents (!!!) and comes upon the dungeon where fatima is. he interrupts their conversation about eunichs (!!!) to tell them of an escape plan at midnight and by "midnight" he means "noon" since all the action takes place during the day. then comes the escape which leaves poor jookie tear-ridden.

there is a swordfight. fatima leads ali baba behind a decorative pillar and kisses him. omar emerges and smacks a few people around while flashing his nipples at the camera. wow. this is in the first 45 minutes!

as for rating the film i must say i was entertained quite a bit by the lack of talent all around. the ms3k value is high so watching with a group of people with that in mind might be a good idea.

Is it Sinbad? Is it Ali Baba? Does it actually matter? Now the movie tries to take certain elements from other movies and put them together and make something out of it. The love story, the betrayal story, the friends/enemies story ... all seen before, sometimes as single story elements, but all done way better than what you get served here.

Having said that, if you are a Sword and Sandals addict (fan?) you might not even care. But there are so many of them and not all have many merits to watch them. I'd argue this is one of the weaker ones

Many years ago, I saw some stills in magazines back in the 1960s from this movie but was never able to find it. I wasn't even convinced it was an actual movie. Then it turned up on the Italian Cinema Channel and later in English. Making the search harder was the fact, it was shown with about 10 different titles, which made it harder to track down. However, it is an actual movie. Carla Calo (Carol Brown), usually plays a bad person but here she has lots of make-up and plays Gordon Mitchell's love interest and looks great. Bella Cortez always looks delightful. Watch it and you might be surprised. I have posted some new stills in the Gallery. There is a good copy available on Y/T. Larry Anderson.

Costumes, props, sets and locations are nice, so are the horses and a couple of battle scenes are great but that is just about it. No one in the film caught my attention, the story didn't grab me so I was bored with it. The film wasn't even campy or even unintentionally funny enough to poke fun at.

There is a heroic(?) dwarf crawling around in a tunnel this is suppose to give a little comedy relief but I didn't find him funny at all.

I'll speak of the male's costumes again - I loved them. In particular I loved the guys in black with the red hats. The females were is okay looking dresses, only one or two of them I found barely pretty.

Costumes, props and sets are really the only thing I liked about the film.

2/10

To begin with, the name of the most popular Arabian Nights character i.e. Sinbad has been variably spelled over the years and around the world – from Sindbad to Simbad and Szindbad. Moreover, the character of Sinbad has been included in films in which he had nothing to do with originally – the Russian adventure outing SADKO (1953) became THE MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD in the U.S. – just as, in this case, he became Ali Baba when it crossed over the Atlantic! These facts alone are more interesting than anything that occurs in this film…because where are the seafaring adventures of Sinbad The Sailor to be seen in this one, not to mention the sundry creatures he generally struggled with? On the other hand, if this is Ali Baba, whatever happened to the Forty Thieves?

One thing is certain: I wasn't expecting Gordon Mitchell – who had previously portrayed such legendary heroic figures as Achilles and Maciste – to be the villain here, nor Sinbad to be incarnated by a teenager still wet behind the ears, thus making for possibly the lamest Sinbad in film history! Appropriately, then, the seven Saracens of the title are even more anonymous than the hero – and, what's worse, they don't even engage him in battle! At least, the heroine's physical attributes are well in evidence…but that's small compensation when set against the obligatory and unfunny comic relief provided by Sinbad's midget cellmate/sidekick and, for good measure (ugh!) a court eunuch with a bad facial tick; the pits, however, are reached by the silly gyrations of a particularly animated dancer preceding every ritual at court!