Trem Noturno para Paris

Long before Leslie Neilsen flew the funny skies of "Airplane" or packed heat as Det. Frank Drebben, he rode the rails of one of the dullest railroads on this planet. Yes, he appeared in an ultra cheap spy versus spy melodrama that took place on a train bound from London to Paris filled with New Year's eve revelers. One of the other spy guys, the main one, was an enormous fat freak who eventually dons a grizzly bear costume instead of the usual fright wig and Groucho glasses. Nielsen spends a good part of the 64 minute running time bolting in and out of 3 or 4 sleeping compartments on the anything, but convincing cardboard cutout train trying to recover a packet of a tape recording the French Sortie deem priceless. We're never told what's on the tape, but ultimately, so what, right? We do get to hear the refrains of a couple of nauseating and fake early 1960's tunes while the party goers dance the night away.

Another fine train drama comes to mind which could gave been a big influence on this, the immortal "Night Train to Munde Fine". Surely, the baritone inflections of its theme song, proudly sung by John Carradine, might have influenced the party songs here. Both films deal with the adventures of the spy trade and, as such, are certain hallmarks of what came to be known as "the Swinging 60's".

As the London to Paris Night Train winds its way to conclusion, Leslie Nielsen and his attractive co-star, Miss Israel of 1960, learn what true love can mean. Suffice it to say, the likes of this enchanting train ride will not come this direction again!

Leslie Nielsen stars as Alan Holiday, a former O.S.S. agent who now works as a P.R. man for an airline in London. One New Years' Eve, a beautiful young woman (Aliza Gur) walks into his life, wanting passage to Paris. Also involved is Alans' old friend Jules Lamoine (Hugh Latimer). He gets them on board a ski train, where they will be pretend to be a model, and an assistant to fashion photographer Louis Vernay (Andre Maranne). It's all in the name of national security, and making sure that a disc containing all-important information is delivered to the proper personage.

As long as you know ahead of time not to expect a serious thriller, it's possible to derive some entertainment out of this. In reality, it's a rather goofy, hip comic twist on the spy genre that had simply exploded with the arrival of "Dr. No" two years previous. It requires Nielsen to sport one of the most ridiculous of disguises, one of those eyeglasses-fake nose-fake mustache deals. And, just to give you a further idea of what to expect, a helpful partygoer in a bear suit, whom Alan refers to as "Smokey", figures into the plot. There's no real suspense, and no real action. Even though a character dies, everything is given a light touch.

The casting of Nielsen makes perfect sense given the tone of the movie, even though his career in comedy was still a good decade and a half away. He's likable enough, and the supporting cast is solid: Dorinda Stevens and Edina Ronay as models, Eric Pohlmann as a thug, Cyril Raymond as a police inspector. The female cast are all notably sexy, especially Ronay.

Decent light entertainment, forgettable but mildly amusing, and appreciably brief in length, at just an hour and five minutes.

Six out of 10.

Leslie Nielsen spends most of the final third of this film pursued by a hit man while disguised in joke spectacles with a false moustache; but it's not a comedy!

The jaunty credits sequence suggested more light-hearted fare than we actually get; and despite the fact that four people get murdered the British censor still only gave it a 'U' certificate. Maybe the producers didn't let director Robert Douglas - best remembered by film buffs as a cold-eyed villain in Hollywood swashbucklers, recently turned TV director - in on the joke. This was the only feature film Douglas ever directed - plainly shot on a shoestring even by British 'B' movie standards - and I suspect this was also originally intended for TV as well; especially as the handsome fellow he brought with him from Hollywood to play the lead was also a TV mainstay at the time. (At odd moments he suggests a certain goofy comic flair that might have flourished in more adroit hands; I wonder what became of him?)

Much of the film resembles a rather talky and sub-par British 'B' of the period with the usual obtrusively loud jazz score, redeemed as usual by considerable period charm and occasionally enhanced by excellent location photography by Arthur Lavis and featuring the usual suspects like Eric Pohlmann as a ruthless killer and Cyril Raymond as a detective; neither wearing their usual moustaches, ironically.

The era it evokes now seems as remote as the silent era; with the McGuffin taking what then seemed like the incredibly high-tech form of a spool of magnetic tape containing sensitive political information.

"Night Train to Paris" is a British B movie that stars Leslie Nielsen back in his TV days, when he was a reliable leading man. It wasn't until later that his persona took on the comedy that gave him an incredible second career. Here he plays Alan Holiday, an ex-OSS officer living in London and now apparently working as some sort of travel agent. After a series of murders, it falls to Holiday to deliver a magnetic computer tape to Paris on New Year's Eve. The ruse employs a photographer and models on a night train. Throughout the trip, the tape is hotly pursued.

This film is benign enough with neither the plot nor the execution giving Alfred Hitchcock any sleepless nights. The train scenes are well done, however.

It's all pretty silly, with Nielsen donning one of those combo nose and eyeglasses jobs to disguise himself, and the tape being tossed around like an old sandwich. The standout is Edina Ronay as one of the models. Her beauty and attitude embody the '60s London. She's a real bright spot.

Mindless entertainment.

(1964) Night Train to Paris THRILLER/ ESPIONAGE

Starring Leslie Neilson as international travel agent, Alan Holiday visited by a lady, Catherine Carrel (Aliza Gur) sent by a former friend and secret agent, Jules Lemoine (Hugh Latimer) to secretly transport an important tape cassette from the UK to Paris. It is soon revealed that the tape Alan was given was fake, and once Jules is murdered, he is then motivated to go to Paris to find out what it's all about. Lifeless, dull and pretentious with many unconvincing and unexciting moments. The only bright moments is perhaps the musical score, everything else is pretty much forgettable.