Car 54, Where Are You?

This is the only police show I remember from those earlier days that shows members of a professional police force in such a light hearted way. As a retired cop myself, I know it was obviously not to be taken seriously of course. In my opinion, a lot of things on that show, though not all, could happen in real life. This is especially true when the cops are off duty and get into situations which include their personal life. Even a lot of the on duty antics are not out of touch with reality, such as when the guys are alone in the locker room. It truly shows law enforcement in a relaxing, humorous way. Cops really are human!

Some of the warmest and funniest humor that was ever put on television came from the fertile pen of Nat Hiken when he created Car 54 Where Are You. As it came out at the beginning of the Kennedy presidency and only lasted two seasons, it can be said that it was a perfect fit for the Camelot years. After November of 1963 a gentle show like this albeit about cops would not have made it any longer.

In fact I can hardly believe it only lasted for two seasons, it seemed to go on forever in syndication. Speaking of JFK there was one episode I remember vividly about a patrolman who got a reputation as a jinx and no one wanted to ride with him. He did however pick up a certain VIP in 1960 and deliver him to a television broadcast. The VIP was Richard Nixon on the way to his debate.

The leads were Joe E. Ross and Fred Gwynne. Ross was a veteran of that other Nat Hiken creation the Phil Silvers Show where he played Mess Sergeant Rizzo. Ross played Gunther Toody who was an amiable goof who was assigned to give the benefit of his street wisdom to new partner Francis Muldoon. Gwynne as Muldoon was a tall shy almost backward kid and the only one who Toody might have seemed to have wisdom to impart. The funny thing is that somehow these two got through some very interesting situations and many times came out on top if not always by the book. They drove precinct Captain Bloch (Paul Reed) to total distraction.

The mark of a great show is the fact that even after almost 50 years I can still remember some individual episodes. I remember Molly Picon as Mrs. Bronson who simply would not be dispossessed from her home. I remember an episode with a parrot who learned from Ross to say I hate Captain Bloch. I remember a really wonderful episode where Toody and Muldoon try to get a decent bar mitzvah turnout for the son of Pokrass the landlord played by B.S. Pully. That was difficult because the stingy Pokrass was probably the most hated man in the Bronx. Still they managed in something not covered in the police manual.

You can see a lot of Car 54 in the Barney Miller Show in the next decade and I've a feeling that Toody and Muldoon may have wound up as instructors at the Police Academy.

I so wish the TV Land Channel would run this show.

"There's a holdup in the Bronx. Brooklyn's broken out in fights. There's a traffic jam in Harlem that's backed up to Jackson Heights. There's a scout troop short a child. Kruschev's due at Idlewild. Car 54, Where Are You?"

In the mixed Jewish and Italian 53rd precinct of the Bronx, two mismatched police officers, Gunther Toody and his partner, Francis Muldoon, patrol their section in Car 54. Gunther, a married man, is short, heavyset, and, a dummy. Francis, a bachelor living with his mother, is tall, skinny, and cultured. Practicing an early form of community policing, these two kind-hearted, childish men are beloved in the neighborhood. But their efforts to circumvent stern law usually backfire and embarrass their precinct commander, Captain Block.

This program, a gem of Jewish humor, packed a half-hour of riotous laughter into every show. Each character in it was well-formed and extreme. The guest stars were just as hilarious. Although "I Love Lucy" is remembered as the premier TV comedy series of the 1950's, "Car 54, Where Are You?" extracted more humor out of normal situations. One cannot watch it without getting a belly-ache. It was the funniest show on television.

I was much too young to enjoy this when it was on (I was 3 when it went off the air) but was blessed to see it on Nick at Night. I wish they would bring it back again or if it's on DVD, I must have it! This show about two 'hard working' New York City cops was witty and intelligent. Many of my generation think of the sitcoms of the 1950s and early 1960s and picture simple, basic and not terribly funny humor. Picture "Small Wonder" in black and white. This show had heart and some very clever writing. The simplest of everyday situations that a cop can face were turned into comedy gold. It was the "Barney Miller" of it's day. If any of you dear readers ever get a chance to see any of these episodes, check out the one where Toody and Muldoon have a chance to go out fishing on a boat. The lengths they go to to arrange their schedule so as to be free to go out, and the ONE thing that fouls it up are complex and hilarious.

The cast was wonderful as well, and of course they would be, otherwise this terrific writing would have been wasted. It's not.

Boy, I am still waiting for a DVD or two of this classic television show, giving us seasons worth of episodes, not just a couple of episodes on tape. This show was a comedy classic; one of the best ever.

This particular VHS tape I am reviewing features two past shows, one of which is one of my all-time favorites: "The Taming of Lucille." Humor is subject but to me that episode is one of the funniest ever on TV as henpecked "Gunther Toody" (Joe E. Ross) tries to turn the tables on his wife. After he and partner Francis Muldoon (Fred Gwynne) watch a presentation of "The Taming the Shrew" in Central Park, and later Toody sees his cousin Al dominate his wife Rose, he thinks he can do the same....with hilarious results. Beatrice Pons, as "Lucile," is a hoot, too. Ross and Pons played the same roles in the earlier "You'll Never Get Rich" television how featuring Phil Silvers as "Sgt. Bilko."

The other episode is a famous one, too, although not as funny. In this show, Toody winds up on the Jack Paar show, hosted by Hugh Downs. A fellow policeman is "discovered" as a real comic and is invited on the show, only to get stage-fright and be rescued by Toody, who then takes his place as the star comic. He's invited back and....well....deja vu all over again, as Yogi Berra supposedly once said.

These are two shows guaranteed to give you a lot of laughs for 50 minutes (25 minutes per show). I just hope someone the whole series becomes available.