- Isaiah 'Alabama' Lee: If you say its all right, Mr. Bill.
- 'Dollar Bill' Burton: Sure, it's all right. And don't call me Mr. Bill. Just call me Bill.
- Isaiah 'Alabama' Lee: Yes, sah.
- Isaiah 'Alabama' Lee: [singing] Well, I woke up this morning, The lonesomest man in town, Yes, I woke up this morning, The lonesomest man in town, Cause my baby's got another, Lover and she's put her Daddy down...
- Isaiah 'Alabama' Lee: Is he a great writer?
- 'Dollar Bill' Burton: Sure. Great. Only the squares in this town don't dig his stuff.
- 'Dollar Bill' Burton: I'm gonna get on top! Yeah! Like that light out there on top of the bank. See that light? High on top... That's me! I belong on top. Up there, lookin' down. Not down here and lookin' up. When you're up there you don't get stepped on.
- Isaiah 'Alabama' Lee: [singing] Well, I went down the road to see my gal, Caught her lovin' up my best pal, She said she didn't want to do it, Said she didn't want to do it, If she didn't want to do it, Why did she do it then? Yes, I got her number, It don't add up to one...
- Bob Roberts: Do you think it's wise to fall for Bill? He's pretty fast company, you know. Just like sticking you hand in a bag of loose needles.
- Bob Roberts: This calls for a celebration.
- Regina: Just think, Bob, you got a real television celebrity for a roommate!
- Bob Roberts: Don't you see my chest stuck out?