- Crystal Allen: When Steven doesn't like what I wear, I take it off!
- [Kay slaps Crystal. Crystal smiles]
- Crystal Allen: One of these days I'm gonna have a bathroom the size of Radio City Music Hall!
- Pat: Whoever gets that dirty?
- Title Card: Manhattan Island... A body of land consisting of four million square males - completely surrounded by women.
- Amanda Penrose: [to Kay] What do you think marriage is anyway? Something safe and comfortable you can take for granted? This is a rough world, Kay, and marriage has to live in it. It has to be won over and over again, as many times as necessary and against all challenges. And anyone who hasn't the guts to fight ought to have learned to live alone and like it a long time ago.
- Gloria Dell: Do you want me to spit in Crystal's eye for you?
- Kay Hilliard: [Kay nods "No."]
- Gloria Dell: You're passing up a big chance, 'cause where I spit no grass grows ever.
- Kay Hilliard: Gloria, thank you for trying.
- Crystal Allen: There's no business like show business, honey. when you're out there in those $880 seats, with a sable wrap over your shoulder and your car and driver waiting at the curb.
- Debbie: I had another bad dream, can I get in bed with you?
- Kay Hilliard: Of course you may.
- [Debbie climbs in]
- Kay Hilliard: There, is that better?
- Debbie: This is the only good thing about divorce, you get to sleep with your mother.
- Debbie: What makes people fall out of love?
- Kay Hilliard: I don't know, some people just change.
- Debbie: Could you ever fall out of love with me?
- Kay Hilliard: Oh no, this is different.
- Debbie: I don't think I should go away with you, Mother, but please don't think it's because I fell out of love with you.
- Dolores Gray, Herself: [singing] Men who should know better, Gape at a well filled sweater, What's there about it that keeps them craning their necks... Hmmm? The answer is the opposite sex...
- Amanda Penrose: Women. Ladies. The female of the species. Sometimes livelier than the male. Always deadlier.
- Sylvia Fowler: You really ought to stop all this writing nonsense and get yourself a husband. One thing about marriage is its so good for a woman's complexion.
- Amanda Penrose: A jar of face cream doesn't snore.
- Sylvia Fowler: Aw, don't be busy darling. Anyway, that suit is divine! Cuts your waist right in half.
- [Amanda walks away. To Olga]
- Sylvia Fowler: And puts ten pounds on her hips.
- Dolly DeHaven: What are you four conspiring about?
- Kay Hilliard, Sylvia Fowler, Amanda Penrose, Edith Potter: Hello, Dolly!
- Dolly DeHaven: Anything unfit to print?
- Kay Hilliard: Not today.
- Pat: Believe me, I think you're playing this thing all wrong. Smart girls take what they can get.
- Crystal Allen: Smart girls get what they can take.
- Sylvia Fowler: Don't you be too sure about Phelps.
- Edith Potter: Phelps? In a law office?
- Sylvia Fowler: Have you ever seen some of those court stenographers, darling? Shorthand isn't all they can take.
- Sylvia Fowler: How long is it now that they've been married?
- Edith Potter: Ten years, I think.
- Sylvia Fowler: Aw, poor Kay. Well, that's just about the time when it gets to be open season on husbands and Steven is such fair game - with all those pretty little things back stage trying so hard to get ahead.
- Crystal Allen: Okay, honey, now blow, will ya?
- Pat: Come on, Crystal, let me rest a minute.
- Crystal Allen: Oh, Pat, please!
- Sylvia Fowler: Kay, I can't face another piece of pumpernickel.
- Kay Hilliard: Oh, you've done a wonderful job, Sylvia. Now relax and enjoy yourself.
- Lucy: Hi there, Countess! You old turtle!
- [Slaps the Countess on her behind]
- Countess de Brion: Lucy, I never thought I'd see you again! But, here I am!
- Kay Hilliard: You've seen a lot of divorcees haven't you?
- Lucy: Been boardin' 'em for 20 years. Well, you're in for the stretch. So, don't mope around. Relax! Enjoy it.
- Kay Hilliard: Well, what do you suggest?
- Lucy: You name it, we got it or we help you git it. Swimmin'. Tennis. Rub downs. Take it off or put it on.
- Amanda Penrose: You just can't stand Kay's happiness, can you, Sylvia? It gets you down.
- Sylvia Fowler: That's ridiculous. Why should it?
- Amanda Penrose: Because she has the grace to be what she is.
- Sylvia Fowler: Which is what?
- Amanda Penrose: A woman.
- Sylvia Fowler: And what are we?
- Amanda Penrose: Females. The lost sex. Substituting fashion for passion and the analyst couch for the double bed.
- Manicurist: Ten million dollars and she gives me a quarter tip.
- Olga: What a profession. Sometimes I think if I gotta look at another hangnail I'll throw up.
- Mike Pearl: Oh, for Pete's sake, open mine next. Its not the suspense. Well, its just I know what's inside, but if you don't hurry up I'll be too stiff to appreciate it.
- Kay Hilliard: All right, if you're going to make a scene.
- Kay Hilliard: [singing] The young man with a horn, He blows it hot, He blows it sweet, Its always got a solid beat, When he makes Gabriel sound like corn, The young man with a horn, Blow man! Oh man! Yeah man!
- Amanda Penrose: Considering the occasion, Sylvia, you could have thought of something more appropriate than ham.
- Sylvia Fowler: Oh, I have a tongue sandwich, darling, just for you.
- Kay Hilliard: Oh! Now you be careful, Buck. No! Really, Buck.
- Buck Winston: You don't have to worry, ma'am. This canoe's as safe as a cradle.
- Kay Hilliard: Yes, I know, but you're not!
- Kay Hilliard: Well, this is a side of you I never suspected.
- Buck Winston: I guess I just do what comes natural, ma'am.
- Kay Hilliard: Isn't that funny. So do I.
- Countess de Brion: Buck is notorious for his moonlight rides. They're a feature of the place. Like the cactus.
- Kay Hilliard: Well, why didn't somebody tell me? I thought he was being - well, friendly.
- Countess de Brion: As I remember, he isn't exactly hostile.
- Gloria Dell: Oh, Countess, not you too?
- Countess de Brion: That was a long time ago, dear, when I first came out. I had a much better seat then - on a horse, I mean.
- Gloria Dell: You know, Kay, my trouble was I couldn't swim home like you. I barely managed to save my honor, such as it is.
- Countess de Brion: How?
- Gloria Dell: Well, I told him I was a promised to another man, after my divorce was final, of course.
- Kay Hilliard: And that stopped him?
- Gloria Dell: Well, he's a westerner, ma'am, and they have their code with holsters and women.
- Sylvia Fowler: [opening a letter] Air mail special. Its from Edith! She had another girl, you know.
- Kay Hilliard: No! I didn't know.
- Sylvia Fowler: That makes eight! She says there's nothing to do in the hospital but oil her stomach and write letters.
- Reno Ranch Patron #1: What's happening? It's frightening? What is it?
- Reno Ranch Patron #2: Maybe its another atom bomb test?
- Lucy: This ole house is a rockin' and a rollin'!
- Gloria Dell, Kay Hilliard, Countess de Brion: [singing] She's got nothing on us, We've got our liberty, And now that we are single, We're happy to be free! La-la-la-la-la-la...
- Crystal Allen: [On the phone, in a bubble bath, smoking a cigarette] Hello, darling. - - I'm in the tub, shriveled to a peanut, waiting for you to call. But, it's worth it.
- Sylvia Fowler: If I hadn't divorced Howard, I never would have met Buck. Isn't he divine, darling? Now, you're a good judge of horse flesh. Isn't he something?
- Crystal Allen: Not bad.
- Sylvia Fowler: You should see the outfit I bought him. More silver than Fort Knox. Just wait until those buzzards get a look at him! Six and a half feet of man and all mine!
- Dolly DeHaven: Kay...
- Kay Hilliard: Hello, Dolly!
- Dolly DeHaven: What have you done to yourself? I've never seen anyone so stripped for action!
- Kay Hilliard: Well, that's the idea.
- Kay Hilliard: Why, Dolly, you decided to stay after all.
- Dolly DeHaven: You knew I would. There's a glint in her eye. What's it all about?
- Kay Hilliard: Well, nothing - yet.
- Dolly DeHaven: What do you mean yet?
- Kay Hilliard: Oh and it probably wouldn't even be fit to print.
- Dolly DeHaven: Oh, come on! You know the motto of my column: from the ridiculous to the slime.
- Amanda Penrose: You played right into her hands. Walked wide-eyed into every trap she set for you and now you've removed Steven's last protection -- his marriage.
- Kay Hilliard: Who do you rehash it?
- Amanda Penrose: Because it is wrong. You are not like these jaded, frenetic women shedding their husbands like last year's dresses.
- Kay Hilliard: He couldn't be in love with you.
- Crystal Allen: Then he's been giving an awfully good imitation.