Movie Pests

Pete Smith rather sarcastically narrates this jovially scored comedy that illustrates just what annoys us about fellow cinema goers. Firstly, we have a pair of latecomers who can't agree on where to sit. Of course one if not both wear a nice big hat and couldn't be quiet if their lives depended on it. Next, we have another (larger) fellow who just barges his way into a spare seat, mid-row, and then casually goes about undressing and spreading himself forcefully, endangering just about everyone within a 20 foot radius. Chewing gum under the seat is another classic faux pas, then there's the knee in the back of your chair brigade who are well represented as are the death-trap, feet sticking into the aisle, folks and those who munch their way through the film with a noise usually reserved for those doing all of their Christmas unwrapping at once! Ought they to be in jail or perhaps we could imagine more appropriate punishments. Chains? Scissors? Choking? Foot-stamping? I loved this - and though it does rather labour the joke, it sums up so much of the thoughtlessness that goes on in cinemas by ignorant people who forget they are no longer in their living rooms - or who simply don't care. Luckily this was made before the advent of the mobile phone, on whom I fear Mr. Smith may have employed a Gattling gun. I would, too.

***Academy Award nomination for Best Film Short of 1944. Why didn't this win?

After all these years, still can't get enough of this incredible dark comedy. Much thanks to Pete Smith, long head of publicity at MGM. Pete's goal was to do a series of whacky documentaries on every subject imaginable. He succeeded. The cherry on the top was his perfect pitch, sarcastic narration that hit the bullseye every single time.

Today's IMPOSSIBLE topic: Dealing with your everyday, block-headed, thoughtless audience members who ruin your night at the movies. Pete runs this around the clock, featuring such old favorites as the guy who tramples your feet, attempting to get to his seat, then proceeds to take off his coat and other stuff STANDING UP and never sitting down. And if that's not enough, how about the dumb-bell in front of you who decides to keep their BIG hat on (the bigger the better), effectively blocking your view for the next hour or so. That's all!

Part II: Next comes the "noisy" ones, like your neighbor (seated right next to you) MUNCHING and CRUNCHING his snacks with plenty of gusto. Don't forget the dangerous guy (played by Dave O'Brien), who sticks his leg out in the aisle so you can conveniently TRIP and break your neck. Dave, just hilarious to watch, soon became the star attraction in Pete's short films.

Written by comedian Harry Einstein, famous for the character Parkyakarkus, the Greek owner of a diner, both on radio and films. Harry plays the guy eating peanuts. Silent screen star May McAvoy has a bit as the lady whose vision is blocked.

Skillfully directed by Will Jason, later moving to tv and directing the WHISTLER mystery series.

Dedicated to all us long-suffering film goers. Always on remastered dvd, MGM box sets of selected short films, also featured with film releases. Big thanks to TCM for running these golden oldies whenever possible.

It's various people acting poorly as the audience in a movie theater. It's trying to be a comedy. In the end, it fails because it's not actually funny. It doesn't actually make the audience laugh. It's a lot of bad behavior done in a broad quirky way. It was nominated for an Oscar.

Set in a theater, the witty narrator describes several "pests" at the movie and how they manage to annoy the rest of us who are there to enjoy the film. From the habitual seat-changer to the woman with the huge hat, this short covers all the things that annoy us at the theater. Especially funny is the woman who "frees her dogs" by taking her shoes off and then losing one. She then proceeds to crawl around the whole theater in search of missing show, interrupting everyone as she does so.

I have often sat through movies thoroughly annoyed by fellow patrons, as I'm sure we all have. That's what makes this short so great! It is something everyone can identify with. If only they would show it occasionally before the feature film - maybe then some "movie pests" would get the idea and behave themselves in a more dignified manner.

More often than not, shorts are cool. They pick an interesting topic, and maintain a focus that is usually a creative and unique view.

We tend to have low standards for shorts from the the 40's or older. Speaking for myself, just reliving a viewpoint from the past is fun enough, add the usually creative angle the short has, it should be an enjoyable experience.

HOWEVER, this time, Pete Smith missed the boat. The topic could have been interesting enough, but his examples were lame and poorly acted. I can only imagine an audience in 1944 watching this short. If better done, it could have been a hoot to that audience, but I imagine it was a waste of their 11 minutes, as it was mine.

Don't waste your 11 minutes...