- [Dan Backslide notices a old car parked in front of the pool hall]
- Dan Backslide: A runabout. I'll steal it! NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!
- Narrator: Out and away the most popular fellows at Pimento U. are the three Dover Boys: Tom, the fun-loving member of the trio; Dick, a serious lad of 18 summers, plus a winter in Florida - as related in "The Dover Boys in the Everglades"; and Larry, the youngest of the three jerks... er, brothers.
- Dan Backslide: Confound those Dover boys! Oh, how I hate them! I hate Tom, I hate Dick, and I hate Larry! They drive me to drink!
- [Dan zips over the bar and rapidly downs the drinks that the bartender serves him, with the bartender taking one drink for himself]
- Tom: Unhand her, Dan Backslide! Unhand her, Dan Backslide! Unhand her, Dan Backslide!... Hey, we're getting in a rut... Stand up and fight, you coward, bully, cad, and thief!
- Narrator: Poor Dora. Will no one save her from this predicament? Will no one come to her assistance? But hold on. What's this? It looks like an alert young scout, and that's just what it is. He'll not fail her, I'll venture.
- Dora Standpipe: [abducted by Backslide] Help, Tom! Help, Dick! Help, Larry!
- Dan Backslide: [beaten up by Dora] Help, Tom! Help, Dick! Help, Larry!
- Dan Backslide: Confound them! Conf...
- [everything halts, the sailor walks past]
- Dan Backslide: ...found them!
- Messenger: Telegram for the Dover Boys. Misters Tom, Dick, and Larry, c/o Wayward Tavern, Upper Bottleneck, New York. Sirs, quote, HEEEEEEEELP!, unquote. Signed, Dora.
- Tom, Dick, and Larry (Singing Voices): [singing; accelerando] Oh, Dora dear, sweet Dora dear / keep courage up and chin held high / the stalwart sons of Old P.U. / are here at hand to do or die.
- Tom, Dick, and Larry (Singing Voices): [school chanting] P.U., P.U., we're all for you! Yay~ boom!