God's Gift to Women

"God's Gift to Women" is nowhere near a star turn for Louise Brooks. The movie belongs to Frank Fay, who was a popular Broadway star of light comedies at the time, and the first husband of Barbara Stanwyck. Casting the effeminate Fay as a Casanova was a stretch, but his delivery is quite funny in places. The plot line is pretty predictable stuff, but there's a sweet little twist in the final scenes.

Laura La Plante, a tall, rangy Missouri beauty, has the female lead. She successfully made the transfer from silents to talkies. La Plante is charming, and she is photographed to best advantage.

Tenth billing. This is what Hollywood did with Louise Brooks in the early 30s, even after she had made "Pandora's Box" and "Diary of a Lost Girl," the two German films which assured her immortality. But very few Americans had seen those movies at all in 1931, and those who had saw only heavily censored versions.

Very little has changed in Hollywood in the past nearly 80 years. Consider Adrien Brody, whose Oscar netted him Diet Coke commercials, and Halle Berry, whose Golden Boy landed her roles in screen gems such as "Gothika" and "Catwoman." Hollywood punished Louise Brooks for being an independent thinker. Yet she makes the most of her 4-5 minutes' screen time in "God's Gift to Women." As always, you simply can't take your eyes off her.

Frank Fay is horribly miscast in this film, which is about a lothario who falls in love with a sweet young woman (Laura LaPlante). He has absolutely zero screen presence, so making him a descendant of Don Juan who is "god's gift to women" is laughable, and he exacerbates things with a dopey performance, slurred lines, and mispronunciations of names like Monet, Rodin, and Paleozoic. (And I say this not biased over the person he was in real life, the reading of which made me feel bad for Barbara Stanwyck). The film alludes to adultery with several married women carrying on flings with his character without being weirdly punished or judged, nice fodder for a pre-Code film, but it doesn't do nearly enough with this.

To be honest, it's only watchable for the brief appearances of Louise Brooks and Joan Blondell, who liven things up considerably just after the 40 minute mark. You see, Fay's character has been told he must avoid women because of a heart condition, and that if he wants to live, he "must follow the tranquil existence of an oyster." Blondell shows up in a tight dress to nurse him back to health. As she's changing into something more comfortable in the next room (cut to a long shot of her in long black lingerie), Louise Brooks shows up to do the same (and yes, cut, to her flaunting her legs while changing). Blondell climbs on top of him to get him to stay down in a bed a couple of times, a third girlfriend (Yola d'Avril) enters, and eventually the three women get into a giant catfight on the bed, legs a-flailing. It's damn silly but of course the best part of the film - and I say that with no offense to LaPlante, who looks cute in her smart haircut and does what she can opposite Fay, who's a limp noodle.

While Blondell was just about to go on a tear in the early 1930's, the film was made at a sad point in Brooks' career. As Kenneth Tynan described it in "Lulu in Hollywood," in 1930 Brooks had gone back to Hollywood, but when she met with Columbia executive Harry Cohn, each time he appeared naked from the waist up. He writes, "Always a plain speaker, he left her in no doubt that good parts would come her way if she responded to his advances. She rebuffed them, and the proffered contract was withdrawn." If you look at the steep dropoff in Brooks' filmography, with this dog of a film one of only three she made in 1931 (and one of the other two a short), it's clear why she went back to New York and almost completely dropped out of the business. Enjoy seeing her here, in a talkie - and notice that while some of the other women in the cast have the hairstyle she made famous, she sports a different look. Otherwise, if you're not a fan of Brooks or Blondell, this is one to skip.

Plot? Who cares about the plot? Something about a guy with several attractive girlfriends, including the incendiary Louise Brooks and the magnetic Joan Blondell. We should all have this problem. ;>

The main action involves the classic situation of juggling three women in different bedrooms. We've all seen this a million times and always wished the juggling act would fail, the women would encounter each other, and a catfight would ensue. Guess what? This time it happens! It may not be a classic catfight, but the brawl between Louise, Joan and another attractive brunette is worth the price of admission.

This movie will appeal mainly to fans of Louise Brooks. Her part is relatively small and she appears sans her famous Dutch-bob hair helmet, thus revealing a rather high forehead. You will still be in love with her, guaranteed. The real irony here is that several other actresses appear with the hairstyle she made not only famous, but possibly immortal. The Louise Legion will also be interested in her voice acting. Her voice is fine, but the role gives her no real opportunity to display her ability. As we all know, things never really got better on that front, either.

So don't expect much out of this, just kick back and enjoy one of the great beauties of film history, the incredible Louise Brooks.

Frank Fay was recruited from Broadway by Warner Brothers to be built up into one of their early talkie stars, starting with his emcee role on "Show of Shows" in 1929. Most people really hate the job he does there, but you have to understand that Fay is kidding the audience in that film and in every film he does from that point on for Warners. The problem is, the audience didn't understand this and just found Fay annoying. Two years later he was out of a job as his wife Barbara Stanwyck's star continued to rise.

I actually like most of Fay's other films because I can see what he is trying to do with the roles, although I think Warner Brothers did him wrong and set him up to fail by trying to make him out to be irresistible to women in several of his roles. In Matrimonial Bed this wasn't too distracting, but here it is just annoying. Surrounded by beautiful women - including Joan Blondell and Louise Brooks, Fay - as Toto, the Romeo of Paris - becomes enamored of Diane Churchill (Laura La Plante) after just a brief meeting and a single dance. Even more annoying, Diane falls for Toto, although she admits to her father she doesn't understand the attraction - that definitely gives her something in common with the audience.

There are many good comic bits and wise cracks in the film, but it just doesn't hold together well at all. The catfight towards the end is well known as the best thing about the film, with all of Toto's women showing up at once to nurse him back to health after they hear he is ill.

The sad thing is, you can tell Fay knows he is finished in films at this point. He looks thin and gaunt here compared to Matrimonial Bed made just a year earlier. The story is he began to drink heavily when he realized he wasn't going over with audiences, and his wife's success in Hollywood just made matters worse. It is rumored that "A Star is Born" was based on the Fay/Stanwyck marriage, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is true.

This one lacks any kind of coherence. Look at it as one long vaudeville act and you'll likely come away more satisfied.

Frank who? It's difficult to engage immediately with unfamiliar actors. Frank Fey was a very popular but infamously arrogant 1920s comic and he's actually quite good in this, a natural talent. Once you get used to him, you'll find this 'Carry On style' farce quite entertaining.

Allegedly Frank Fey was a particularly unpleasant man and looks wise, he certainly was not God's gift to women! He's got really creepy eyes and looks like a cross between Lee Tracy and Pope Benedict XVI. You'd think it implausible for all these sexy women to be chasing him but somehow in real life he managed to snare Barbara Stanwyck so there must have been something about him. Nevertheless he was a professional and despite appearing like he sleeps in a coffin filled with Transylvanian soil, he really carries this picture.

Whereas Fey is pretty decent in this, silent cinema star Laura LaPlante is atrocious. But if you think she's bad, wait until you see Margaret Livingstone - oh dear, even for a comedy, some of the acting in this is terrible. Fortunately we have the divine Joan Blondell. Her former vaudeville experience is just perfect for this type of daftness. You can tell that she's destined for stardom - it's a shame this wasn't made a year later when she'd established herself as she'd have been brilliant in the lead. Even though she's not got a huge part, she makes a real impact - and not just because she strips down to her underwear. That scene lasts just two seconds but for us fans, it's the highlight of the picture!

Although forgotten today, Frank Fey was a huge star in the 1920s so Warner Brothers, expecting a big return on this, threw an uncharacteristically big budget at this. It looks sumptuously delicious and has even got a full score which wasn't that common in 1931. Michael Curtiz however still hadn't mastered making talkies when he made this - he certainly could do the visuals but as I've said, apart from Fey and of course Joan Blondell, the rest of his characters seem utterly unrealistic. This was a common flaw in early thirties comedies - 'comedy acting' wasn't like straight acting, it was purposely awful, presumably that style was considered funny back then.

Overall, if you like well made silly farces or are in love with Joan Blondell, give this a go. Not as funny as 'Allo 'Allo though.