- Rex Marchbanks: This isn't a joking matter, Carter. There's a woman out there with a warrent for my arrest.
- Kent Carter: Ah, now we're getting some place. What's the charge? Impersonating an actor?
- Kent Carter: Honey, you shouldn't be seen with that guy.
- Linda Warren: And why not?
- Kent Carter: Because you're my girl. Because you're a nice girl. And because Marchbanks is...
- Linda Warren: He's always acted like a gentlemen!
- Kent Carter: Always? Listen, if I catch that piece of limburger making a pass at you, I'll break his neck!
- Linda Warren: Don't be vulgar!
- Kent Carter: Look, honey...
- Linda Warren: Please, I'm still *just* your secretary.
- Kent Carter: Darling, I'm probably the most persistent man you'll ever marry. You might as well let me speak my piece.
- Linda Warren: You spoke your piece.
- Kent Carter: Ah now, I've given it a complete re-write.
- Slugs Dana: [after Carter sneezes at the hospital] Say, you're catching cold. You better put this robe on. There's a lot of sickness in this place.
- Kent Carter: A dozen oysters, a pheasant stuffed with wild rice, and a bottle of Pol Roget '21.
- Bill: You again.
- Kent Carter: On second thought, Bill, I believe I'll settle for one of your succulent hot doggies.
- Linda Warren: [daytime, in the park] Kent, not here. People are looking.
- Kent Carter: All right. Then, consider yourself kissed not once, but a thousand times.
- Kent Carter: I gather you overlooked the little matter of taking care of them.
- Rex Marchbanks: Not at all! For years I sent them money. Until, well, after all, I have a position to keep up and then those infernal income taxes. It all runs into money!
- Kent Carter: I want a wife - not a long term contract with options.
- Linda Warren: Well, lots of people have made a go at marriage and a career.
- Kent Carter: Icks nay, honey. I've seen too many of those marriages do the el-foldo. I want somebody to darn my socks and feed me croup medicine - when you're not too busy taking care of the kids.
- Kent Carter: It's your's. No strings to it at all, *if* you will but cancel a $3 debt and fix me up one your incomparable wiener wursts.
- Kent Carter: Mel, I like you. I want to do this for *you*. All I need are f few bucks for expenses. Let's say, uh, a hundred a week.
- Mel Winter: A hundred a week? I only make a hundred and fifty, myself.
- Kent Carter: Temporarily, my friend. Only, temporarily. In 30 days you'll be making a thousand. Fifteen hundred. I'll tell you what I'll do, for you, Mel, I'll handle everything for 60 a week.
- Mel Winter: Make it 30.
- Kent Carter: 50.
- Mel Winter: 30.
- Kent Carter: 40.
- Mel Winter: Well, how do I know everything will work out like you say? I can't afford it.
- Kent Carter: 30, it is! Mel, I congratulate you. You're a very lucky man.
- Verna Kennedy: Mr. Winter's busy.
- Kent Carter: What's he doing?
- Verna Kennedy: Drinking.
- Kent Carter: Great He'll be in a mellow mood.
- Verna Kennedy: Yes, if you catch him before he passes out.
- Kent Carter: A coast to coast hook-up. You'll be on the short wave. The toast of Europe, Australia, Ethiopia - and that's only the beginning.
- Kent Carter: Young woman, I like you. You have a pretty wit. Well, I'm not a salesman. I'm a philanthropist. I come bearing gifts!
- Verna Kennedy: Oh, a Greek, huh.
- Linda Warren: I made good. Kent, it's a new deal all around. I'm going on the "You Want A Cookie?" program tomorrow.
- Mel Winter: Be not alarmed gentlemen. I am in perfect shape.One little drink and I'll wow 'em, gentlemen, wow 'em.
- Ben Rogers: Well, hurry up and wow 'em.
- Verna Kennedy: Bravo! But, what are going to use for news?
- Kent Carter: Mr. Carter, the demon reporter, will dig it up for himself.
- Verna Kennedy: Comes the revolution. But just one teeny word of caution, Mr. Carter. Is it prudent to antagonize these birds right at the start?
- Kent Carter: Miss Kennedy, you ain't no antagonizing. When I antagonize 'em, they stay antagonized.
- Verna Kennedy: [Carter kicks Ben Rogers in the behind as he walks out the door] Ha-ha! It must be great to have a contract to be able to do that to your boss.
- Kent Carter: Maybe you'd like to do it to your's?
- Verna Kennedy: Sometimes.
- Slugs Dana: You ruined my career. I'm gonna lose my job in pictures. I mean, on account of you saying I was a gangster.
- Kent Carter: Well, aren't you?
- Slugs Dana: Who me? Icks nay! I'm a Protection Engineer.
- Linda Warren: Why pick on the whole picture industry? After all, they're your friends.
- Kent Carter: I only pick on the phonies, honey. The ones that don't belong in the industry. Maybe I can get rid of a few of them.
- Linda Warren: But you know very well the general public gets the impression that Hollywood is just about solely populated by chiselers and cheaters, phonies, drunks, and wife-beaters.
- Kent Carter: The public expects a sock every time they tune me in. That's why I'm the hottest thing on radio today.
- Kent Carter: They went for it hook, line, and sinker.
- Linda Warren: Just a gag to get you a new contract and more money for your fifty, disgusting, back stairs, transom peeping gossip!
- Kent Carter: But, honey...
- Linda Warren: Don't honey me!
- Kent Carter: What's the sense of talking? You came here to kill me, didn't you?
- Slugs Dana: In a way, yeah.
- Kent Carter: Well, go ahead. Get it over with and go on about your business.
- Slugs Dana: Gee, you're a screwy guy - wantin' I should fold you up.
- Linda Warren: [singing] So that everybody will know, That I'm yours wherever you go, Let me offer you this broadcast...
- Verna Kennedy: You certainly picked a swell time to walk out on him. The Greeks have a word for that!
- Linda Warren: I know and I feel rotten about it. But, I've got to find him. I'm worried.
- Verna Kennedy: Keep your shirt on, sister.