- Eddie Kearns: Hank, did you see Queenie? What's the matter Hank, aren't ya happy? Wasn't Queenie great? Aren't ya proud of her?
- Hank Mahoney: Oh, of course, Eddie. I'm glad to see her make good. Oh, but, gee, we ain't never had to get by on our legs before.
- Eddie Kearns: Oh, that don't mean nothin', Hank. Those guys are not going to pay ten bucks to look at your face; this is Broadway!
- Hank Mahoney: Yeah, "Broad's way!"
- [the Stage Manager is yelling at the electricians in the theater rafters]
- Stage Manager: [pointing to the stage] I told you, I want a spotlight *right here*!
- [a miffed electrician drops a spotlight off the rafters. It lands on the stage with a crash]
- Stage Manager: [cowed] Thank you.
- Uncle Jed: [Last lines] It's better to star in P-P-Pe-or, P-P-Pe - or, Osh Kosh than st-starve on Broadway.
- Moe: That's a bunk!
- Hank Mahoney: Now, you listen to me, Stupid, I'll handle things. Yes, and I'll have you back on Broadway and in The Palace! In less than six months.
- Moe: No foolin'?
- Hank Mahoney: Why, it's cream in the can, baby.
- Uncle Jed: Su-Su-Sure it is. Cre-Cre-Cre. It's, it's in the can!
- Hank Mahoney: Oh, honey, with your looks and my ability, Oh, I wouldn't steer you wrong. Oh, now, don't worry. You see that electric sign with the fella in BVDs?
- Queenie Mahoney: Yeah.
- Hank Mahoney: Well, right there, they're going to have the Mahoney Sisters.
- Queenie Mahoney: In BVDs?
- Hank Mahoney: Yes, in BVD - Baby, they were plenty smart when they made you beautiful.
- Queenie Mahoney: Oh, dear, I'm just shaky all over!
- Hank Mahoney: Oh, Queenie, will you stop. You're gettin' me nervous now. It ain't gonna be a bit different than it was in Reading, PA and we're going over just as big!
- Queenie Mahoney: Oh... do you think so?
- Hank Mahoney: Why, it's cream in the can, baby.
- Hank Mahoney: [after a cat-fight with a chorus girl] Next time I'll give you a facial instead of a scalp treatment!
- Chorus Girl: I'll fix you, ya little peanut!
- Hank Mahoney: Oh, goodbye Uncle Jed.
- Uncle Jed: If you wanna see me, just call me up.
- Hank Mahoney: Yeah, fine. You're in the phone book?
- Uncle Jed: You-you bet!
- Stage Manager: Wait! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Listen, toots, what's the matter with the left leg?
- Chorus Girl: Well, I've got a headache.
- Stage Manager: Well, go on, sit down, take a load off your mind.
- Stagehand: Listen, Mahoney, we want you up on the prow of that boat. Come on now. Take, get your clothes off.
- Queenie Mahoney: Oh, but, I don't want to take my clothes off!
- Stage Manager: You were great Mahoney!
- Chorus Girl: I'll say you were! You'll be riding in a Rolls Royce by Thursday!
- [laughter]
- Stage Manager: What a flock of Johns will be waiting at that Stage Door.
- Queenie Mahoney: Go on! You can't kid me!
- Stage Manager: I'm not kidding you. I may be there myself!
- [More laughter]
- Hank Mahoney: Oh, nothing doing. We're in New York to stay!
- Uncle Jed: S-s-say, say listen, girls, you I-I know this town better than you do. And-and there are more sisters doing their acts over the lunch counters in New York, th-th-then over the - than in the theaters.
- Hank Mahoney: Oh, you're just a crepe hanger!
- Eddie Kearns: Queenie! All grown up and everything!
- Hank Mahoney: You see, that sisterly kiss won't be so hard to take now, will it?
- Eddie Kearns: I'll say it won't!
- [Eddie kisses Queenie]
- Hank Mahoney: Take it big.
- Eddie Kearns: I did!
- Eddie Kearns: Gee... you were a funny looking thing when I first saw you, with those gangly legs and freckles. But, you certainly turned out to be a beautiful girl!
- Queenie Mahoney: Oh, I'll go get some clothes on.
- Eddie Kearns: "Mrs. Eddie Kearns" - sounds pretty doesn't it?
- Hank Mahoney: Swell, Eddie!
- Eddie Kearns: Yeah, and you can feature that anytime, in the electric lights.
- Hank Mahoney: Say, you've been asking for trouble and now you're gonna get it! You great, big, peroxide-headed, dizzy blonde, you! What are you thinking of that!
- Jacques Warriner: You think it's a good show then, Zany?
- Francis Zanfield: It's just an oil well, that's all.
- Jacques Warriner: Alright, let's see your gusher.
- Dave: Looks like a mine to me, from all the gold diggers you got in the troupe!
- Queenie Mahoney: Say Hank, do you think that's all I'll get to do? Go on without any clothes on?
- Hank Mahoney: Well, not if I can help it. But, you don't need to worry. Say you got a lot more on when you ain't got anything - from most of the dames I've seen around here!
- Queenie Mahoney: Yeah! Well, I guess I'll go get undressed again.
- Eddie Kearns: Well, let's go and get a bowl of chop suey and we'll rewrite the show!
- Hank Mahoney: Well, if you'll write me back in the show, I'd go for a bowl of anything.
- Eddie Kearns: Well, you can - get most anything out of a bowl of chop suey.
- Eddie Kearns: Why do you let a guy like that hang around you?
- Queenie Mahoney: Say, will you lay off him! I'm sick of hearing you crab all the time!
- Eddie Kearns: I'll give him a sock in the nose!
- Queenie Mahoney: You and how many others?
- Hank Mahoney: I'm going to give her the swellest party she's ever had! Oh, Eddie, I love her so much!
- Eddie Kearns: You sure are regular, Hank.
- Party Guest: I brought the radio along with me.
- Party Guest #2: What can you get with that?
- Party Guest: Why, gee, I can get Chicago with that?
- Party Guest #2: Chicago? Why that's nothin'. I got Scotland last night.
- Party Guest: How do you know you got Scotland?
- Party Guest #2: Why, I heard the guy singing "The best things in life - are free".
- Jacques Warriner: I'd like to do a lot of things for you Queenie. How would you like an apartment, all your own? Say, on Park Avenue? And a car, all your own? Perhaps a Rolls Royce? Oh, and a lot of nice things.
- Hank Mahoney: Say, what kind of a sap are you, anyway?
- Eddie Kearns: What do you mean?
- Hank Mahoney: Are you gonna let a John like that steal her away from you because he's got a little more Jack?
- Hank Mahoney: You're a coward! You're afraid of Jacques Warriner! Or, you'd go out and fight for her! But, you're just yella!
- Eddie Kearns: You think I'm yella, heh?
- Hank Mahoney: Sure, you're yella!
- Eddie Kearns: Well, I'll show you how much I'm yella!
- Hank Mahoney: Well, you're yella! You hear me! You're yella!
- Eddie Kearns: I'm yella, heh?
- Hank Mahoney: Yella! I said you are! You're yella! You're yella! You hear me!
- Hank Mahoney: [Instructions to the piano player] Now, give us a pick-up for an introduction and a couple of choruses. And swell to the finish. But you follow us, not us you.
- Turpe - Costumer: Stop? Stop! Girls! Girls! Girls! Be careful of my hats.
- Chorus Girl: Well, we gotta get down on the stage.
- Turpe - Costumer: I don't care. I can't allow you to ruin 'em.
- Wardrobe Lady: I told you... they were too high and too wide.
- Turpe - Costumer: Well, big mama, I design the costumes for the show, not the doors for the theater.
- Wardrobe Lady: I know that! If you had, they woulda' been done up in lavender!
- Turpe - Costumer: Oh, Mr. Zanfield, this material... I couldn't get it in the gold design. Only the silver. Isn't it lovely?
- Francis Zanfield: Hmm... It's fine. Get it in the gold!