Moist Meter

We first start off meeting our main hero, Charlie (MostCr1tikal) the forgotten cousin of Jesus. He has got to be the sexiest man alive, at the optimal perfect height of 5'6". One day Charlie had to go to the grocery store (Walmart) to get some food for his massive Chad party the next day. But he ended up running into the famous Walmart Karen, his archnemisis. This story is a very exciting one, from Charlie's hip shakes, to Karen condemning him to hell while dancing in Walmart. I'll stop giving you the good parts so you can see it for yourself in the theaters on 4/20/69. This is the greatest movie of all time.

Any time, any where, If you will, If you care, There is hope, Charlie's here,

Frankly, I'm a bit upset that IMDB has not implemented a custom rate feature for the Moist Meter. I do not want to give it a measly 10/10. I want to rate this a 100% on the Moist Meter. Understandably, this feature may just be too moist for the IMDB servers to handle, but they could at least compensate for it by at least allowing you to rate it 11/10. Nevertheless, This review tool, nay, review instrument is the greatest of all time and should be The Official™ method of rating movies and other content, not this tomato bullshit.

The moistness of the moist meter is not to be overstated. The quenching moistness that emnates from Charlie, The Mogul of Moist, Keanu the second, the premature ejaculation of Christ is almost as hallucinant as his height.

The moist meter stands just behind his musical contributions with famous auteur and rap(p)er Riley Reid as his magnum opus. Leaving a legacy has laid the foundations for both his acting career as the protagonist of the John Wick franchise, and his role as a stunt double for Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games.

Why watch a Quibi when you can watch Moist Meter? I mean the man, the myth, the legend behind it is Charlie White for gods sake. What more could you want?