The Goocher

Imagine: an intruder breaks into your house. He puts a gun to your head, and gives you two choices: 1.) Watch "The Goocher", or; 2.) Scoop your own eyeballs out of their sockets with the edge of a jagged, rusted tablespoon.

I would wholeheartedly encourage the prospective viewer to go with Option #2. "The Goocher" is an absolute, utter failure on every conceivable level. The story is idiotic. The acting is galactically beyond abysmal. This is doltishly tepid and amateurish, even by zero to low budget indie horror flicks. It plays literally like someone found a video camera, gathered a bunch of friends, and they took turns improvising inane gibberish before handing the camera to the next person in the cast.

Listening to a symphony orchestra consisting of the uncontrollably flatulent trying to play classical music through their collective anuses would stink less than this wretched excuse of a movie. I could not more strongly urge you to spare yourself the sheer torture of trying to watch this movie. It is the cinematic equivalent of vomiting into a blender, throwing up in some rancid meat, and then drinking the whole concoction down.