Slayers

I've seen bad movies. I've seen horrible movies. I've seen movies so bad they're good. Then there's Slayers. It's just plain horrible. 81 minutes I'll never get back. Normally I like Thomas Jane, Malin Akerman., and Abigail Breslin, but I don't understand why any of them agreed to be in this insult to cinema. I know some actors do terrible projects for a paycheck. I just can't imagine any of them getting paid much for this thing. The concept is terrible. The writing is terrible. The directing choices are terrible. The acting is terrible. The editing is terrible. Throw every terrible cliché in a bag, pull one at random, and you'll find it in this movie.

I started watching because of Thomas Jane and Abigail Breslin, before checking IMDB rating. It started off so poorly, that I had to check and the 3.0 rating made me want to turn it off. But I decided to see if it was bad/good enough to be a cult flick. Thomas Jane was perfect for his part a protagonist/narrator. The social media tie ins were good, but didn't go far enough. The live streaming with influencers the was great, but under utilized. The "How to" piece and old school fight sound graphics were cult film gold. The framework was their, the acting talent was good enough, the production value was "OK", but ultimately the directing/editing stopped it from becoming cult film. Gave it 5 stars for the attempt, but 3 stars was pretty correct.

There is absolutely nothing positive or good I can say about this movie. If I could give it a 0-Rating, I would. I have seen some 'stinkers' in my life, but this movie was so bad I had to come and warn you & other movie-goers:

"No! No! No! Steer clear & run away!"

I watched the movie till the end in the hopes that it might get better or end on a high note. It never did. The acting, the music, the camera work, the bad dialogue, the actors... everything is just bad!

I wish I had money to throw away like the people or film houses that actually produce or approve these films. Thomas Jane & Malin Akerman must really be hard up for work. It's sad, because they have made good movies before.

13 years ago, Abigail Breslin starred in the very successful Zombieland. Slayers tries to be Zombieland but with Vampires and fails miserably.

Slayers has an interesting idea and could have been ok had it not been for the atrocious acting, awful directing and the worst musical choices seen in a film this year.

Thomas Jane, Abigail Breslin, Malin Akerman are a few of the faces who turn up in this and are all too good for the material. I have no idea why any of them would agree to appear in this.

The movie starts out annoying and by the end turns into a total cheesefest with horrific dialogue at every turn. One to avoid at all costs.

This is how you stack the deck with some fine actors and only enable them to fail. The script is surprisingly mundane on this. The camera work, directing, and editing is equally as bad. The end product, although entertaining for small occasional moments, is incoherent and tedious with just a lot of random surreal scene fractions spewed out to kill the time. There are pieces and parts that are ok, and some fractions can be entertaining at their core, but the clumsy filming style with the camera always moving and bouncing around brings it down to an abnoxious level, similar to the sterotype influencers put in as characters. The actors were the only saving grace to keep this from being a turned-it-off event for me.