A Despedida

A beautiful portrayal of a long farewell and an insight into the difference between western an eastern culture. Powerful performances through and well worth a watch.

Billi (Awkwafina) is a 30 year old pianist in New York City. She's struggling after being rejected for a scholarship. She and her parents moved to America when she was young. She is mostly Americanized. News come that her grandmother is dying of cancer. Her family agrees to go the traditional route of hiding the diagnosis from the dying grandma. They are going home to China to fake a wedding celebration. Billi is reluctant to go with the lie.

This is a great cultural story. It's the Chinese culture but also the influence of Western culture. It's a family story. It's also Awkwafina's best acting performance yet. Her inner conflict and her family conflict are both very compelling. There are funny little insights. It's a very touching film. I would modify the ending a little. Looking back at Nai Nai as they drive away is such a powerful scene. The movie should probably end there. The scream is not a good way to end especially with the text reveal in the closing credits. If they want to go back to Billi for the ending, it should be something more positive considering what Nai Nai tells her during the banquet.

Billi Wang (Akwafina) is a young aspiring writer in New York whose family had immigrated from China when she was six years old. She maintains a happy telephone relationship with her paternal grandmother, Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen) who still lives in China in the city of Changchun. Billi's family has received news from another relative that Nai Nai is dying of lung cancer. The extended families travel to Changchun to celebrate the wedding of Billi's cousin although the collective intention is really to say goodbye to Nai Nai - while withholding the news from her that she is dying.

Throughout the film - and especially by the end, it is very clear that is biographical and based on the experiences of the film's talented writer/director Lulu Wang. The story is rich for various reasons including its unique take on the universal theme of dealing with the impending death of a beloved elderly relative.

Billi is also a stand-in for many "new world" North Americans who would find it terribly wrong to withhold from anyone the fact that they are dying. Her points are well expressed but so are the contradictory replies from her elders and those more in line with a Chinese cultural tradition of such secrecy. The reply to the question "who's right" is answered in Nai Nai's laid-back, content demeanour (when not coughing), totally oblivious to her diagnosis. This is one of the fascinating surprises of "The Farewell" in its acquiescence to old-world values in subtle ways. Here, Wang must be given credit for her humility. She seems to have nodded to a sarcastic quote attributed to Oscar Wilde: "I am not young enough to know everything".

The main story is powerful enough; yet Wang adds to the wealth by delving into the immigration experience - for those who left their homeland as well as those left behind. Here again, she takes on a universal theme. In conversations and monologues, the viewer hears what it is like to lose all of one's children (two sons in this case) as they leave the homeland (Nai Nai's other son emigrated to Japan). Billi also has a powerful monologue of what it was like to leave behind an extended family and community when she was six. While intelligently avoiding platitudes, the film asks: is there really a 'better life' somewhere else?

The fine cast does justice to Wang's eloquent story. Awkwafina fits well in the lead role and Zhao's Nai Nai is so loveable that she makes it very easy to see why so many would grieve her impending death. One particular scene stands out even though it is brief: Billi's mother (Diana Lin) quietly avoiding eye contact in a taxi while fighting back tears. In less than a minute, Lin conveys an experience of every adult at least once in our lives. - dbamateurcritic

RATING: 9 out of 10

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT: Screenplay by Lulu Wang

The Farewell is a tribute to family and an exploration of what sets Chinese culture apart from our own. Writer/Director Lulu Wang drew upon the true story of her own grandmother to inspire this film, and the authenticity of the story shined through. There's something special going on in The Farewell, because I went through an emotional journey with the main character. It's strange how you can start the film feeling that this entire idea and the pretense of their trip to China is so wrong, and then end up seeing the value of it to the point that you don't want the charade ruined. I can't even point to a particular moment or event that was the tipping point which changed my mind, and I don't know if our main character could either. She is clearly transformed by this time with her family, and begins to see that the way of life in China is different, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. The other thing that was magical about The Farewell is that it managed to find humor in the darkness. It's not a big goofy and hilarious comedy, in fact I probably shed more tears than I laughed, but considering how this whole film could feel because of the subject matter, the fact that I was able to find joy in some moments was great.

There were a number of great performances in The Farewell. I absolutely adored Shuzhen Zhao as the grandmother Nai Nai. She has such a delightful joy in her performance that you instantly fall in love with her. I think Awkwafina did a fine job as Billi, the protagonist. I did question some times if she was capable of portraying the layers of emotions that would be going through her character's mind, but she was good enough that she didn't take me out of the film. I also thought that Tzi Ma and Yongbo Jiang were marvelous as the two brothers who are trying to be the emotionless rocks for their family, and sometimes find that they too can't hide their feelings indefinitely. The Farewell also has a beautiful visual aesthetic, and I loved the way some of the shots were framed. There are a few scenes where just the staging and the way they cut to a shot made me laugh out loud. It's one of those movies where I felt there was a lot of thought and intention in the way things looked. Perhaps that comes from Lulu Wang visualizing these events so vividly from her past, and knowing how they needed to look and feel on the big screen. The Farewell is a heart-warming film that made me think about what I would do in the same situation, and made me cry a lot too. Getting me both emotionally and logically invested in the plot is an impressive feat.

Shuzhen Zhao's hospital report says she has terminal cancer. She has perhaps four months to live. They don't tell her. Instead, the family rushes the marriage of Awkafina's cousin so that they can gather with one one last time, without letting her know anything is wrong.

It's been many years since a good friend insisted I look at Ang Lee's THE WEDDING BANQUET and EAT DRINK MAN WOMAN one after the other. When they were done, he said "Well?" and I said "They're so Jewish!" With his comedies of manners about an emigrant culture that sustains itself willy-nilly, rejected by and rejecting the mainstream, both groups are similar in their reliance on family and the dinner table as a means of staying together. Writer-director Lulu Wang's movie is of a piece with these two, with some very entertaining performances, and insight into what family means to people who are forced to be apart.