Steam Room Stories: The Movie

'Steam Room Stories: The Movie' is another perfect example why I generally don't like gay comedies. From the script to the acting to the dialogue, this was just terrible. This was your typical bad acting simple premise gay movie, much in the vein of the 'Eating Out' series.

Nothing here is believable and it looks more like a high school production. None of the actors can honestly be considered serious actors, surely? I'm not even going to highlight the bad moments or analyze this film, it was just such a bad script.

Rather put the film on mute and watch it for the delightful eye candy instead....

I thought this movie would be awful and you know what? It was awfully entertaining, campy, kitschy, funny, kooky, and just what I needed for an extended covid era pick me up. Nothing cerebral to see here folks, just the most ridiculous storyline and antics. Eye candy was nice too.

OK. I came for the eye candy and was not disappointed. What I did not expect was some good comedy and a twist at the end. The young men are not boys but genuinely good actors doing a good job at comedy while wearing a towel. Try that to see how challenging this act is. I know how quickly our tribe can dismiss our own work and feel sad that the standards set for this kind of film are set so high or ...... well you know what I mean. Let's not take ourselves so seriously. This funny little film would be a good start. And yes, romance enters the picture as well. Thanks to the people who made this.

Chock full of dumb jocks tropes. The movie is so stupid that it's actually funny! Lots of great one-liners (e.g. "They're so dumb that if they were stuck overnight in a mattress factory they'd sleep on the floor". The unabashed in-your-face humor along with plenty of beefy half-naked guys makes up for the ridiculous plot and lack of acting skills. Plenty of beefcake to keep my pause and slo-mo remote control functions busy.

Steam Room stories, the web series, had moments of charm mixed in with the shirtless beefcake, but this film is bottom of the barrel bad. The plot is so tired it's laughable. (Insert establishment) is in danger of shutting down because (insert reason owner owes money) and evil (insert stock villain) wants to take it over." In this case it's "gym, didn't pay taxes, beauty magnate who's looking for the fountain of youth."

The worst part is how the characters talk to each other. Nobody actually talks this way, but they don't take it so over the top that it's camp, so instead it just seems like bad writing. Example: a group of buddies decides they'll no longer small talk about sex, and one declares "Ok then! No more talking about poon or peen." Sure, that's a thing someone would say.