A 42-minute film starring John Lennon's penis, directed by Yoko Ono. It's less "Let It Be" and more "Let It..Not." Just his soft, British, post-White Album junk being filmed like it was a documentary about endangered worms. For FORTY-TWO GODDAMN MINUTES I watched this pathetic excuse of a cock try and fail to rise. It twitched once.. I got excited. False alarm. It literally retreated like it was ashamed of itself. I was rooting for it. I cheered for that dick. I BELIEVED IN IT. But instead of rising to the occasion like a proud Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band soldier, it sat there, like a sad piece of overcooked spaghetti, flacid and confused. And THEN, oh god, THEN came the drop. ONE. SINGLE. LONELY. WHITE. CUM DROP. A semen sigh. A oily little obituary. That dick just gave up on life and nut a euology. I've seen worms with more confidence.. I've seen pool noodles with more posture. He had ONE job. Just rise, salute, Do literally anything. It's not climax, it's a resignation letter. It's like his penis said, "I tried. I really did. But the vibes were off." Why only 3 stars? Let's just say it may be a representation on how John's star player didn't quite reach the high notes this time.. Stay flaccid, stay curious. Detective penis, signing off.
