Beyond: Two Souls

Yahtzee: Previous games have attempted broad multi-character stories that all spectacularly collapsed, so this time the narrative focusses on a single character, randomly flipping back and forth between key points in Ellen Page's life, from birth to childhood to teens to more teens to- actually, she never really moves past the teens. It is quite funny at one point when she's supposed to be a rogue CIA agent but she looks more like a 15-year-old boy put on camo gear, and drew all over his face with black felt-tip pen like mummy's little insurgent. Anyway, Ellen Page is really sad her whole life because there's an invisible ghost following her around who kills everyone she doesn't like. Fucking suck it up, Ellen Page; some of us had to make do with rat poison growing up! But no, the ungrateful tart spends half the game sounding like she's about to start crying, and the other half crying. Actually, everyone in this game cries like altar boys after lights-out. You could use their faces to irrigate the Sahara, since, y'know, the emoting thing doesn't seem to be working out. I do think it's churlish to criticize facial animation when just ten years ago you'd be lucky if characters opened their mouths when they spoke. But having said that, whenever someone's supposed to be at the limits of screaming emotion in this game, it looks more like they're concentrating really hard on trying to do a horse impression.