Blood Work/Full Frontal/The Master of Disguise/Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat

Richard Roeper - Host: Okay, our next movie... is NOT a strong piece of work. It's "The Master of Disguise", with Dana Carvey cementing his title as the Rich Little of our time, if only that were a good thing. Carvey is a likeable guy; I think he can be a brilliant mimic, but his skills are wasted in this uninspired mess.

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Richard Roeper - Host: "The Master of Disguise" does have ONE achievement: The all-time record for most outtakes, deleted scenes, and direct-to-the-camera jokes after the movie is over. This abundance of alternate takes and characters that weren't in the actual movie is like an on-screen confession that they didn't have much of a story when filming started. Another odd touch are the cameos in the movie itself by B-list celebrities like Bo Derek, track star Michael Johnson, and pop star Jessica Simpson, who all have to be identified by name, which kinda defeats the joke of the cameo. If ''The Master of Disguise'' had been a free cable movie... well, I still wouldn't have recommended it.

Roger Ebert - Host: I wouldn't even recommend it if you cut it up and made it into ukulele picks.

Richard Roeper - Host: Uh-oh, look out!

Roger Ebert - Host: This movie... n- it never ended, and it was only eighty minutes long! I'm looking at my glow-in-the-dark watch here, I think the movie itself was only about sixty or sixty-five minutes in length.

Richard Roeper - Host: Right.

Roger Ebert - Host: And that's why they had to have all of the outtakes and credit cookies, which went on and on, and instead of listing the songs and then having an outtake, they list three songs, then have an outtake, then three MORE songs, then have an outtake. Finally, they have the caterer up there- well they don't exactly have an outtake for the caterer, but you get my point.

Richard Roeper - Host: I would've liked to see the caterer!

Roger Ebert - Host: And then at that point, finally, it looks like it's over; the projectionist closes the curtains, and then there's Dana Carvey on the curtains saying, "Wait a minute, the movie isn't over yet!" And I'm going, y'know...

[mimes grabbing his head]

Richard Roeper - Host: You know what would've been nice? Dana Carvey apologizing for the movie at the end.

Roger Ebert - Host: Yes.

Richard Roeper - Host: So this is a real clunker.