Crumb Catcher

It was hard to gauge how good or bad this movie was going to be based on the reviews. Real coin flip here. Well, I called heads and it came up tails.

After 25 minutes, nothing really happened and I absolutely hated the newlywed couple. Both had irritable personalities and I think nobody told them they were rolling because their performances were on par with a table read or maybe a first rehearsal. But more incredulously, it made absolutely no sense these two people would marry each other. I mean, they came across as a breakup/rebound couple at best. Maybe later on in the movie there's some exposition illustrating why they decided to get married, but 25 minutes in, impossible to believe.

So yeah, after 25 minutes, switched off and watched something else.

There is nothing to like about this movie. That is why the only reviews that are positive about it are fake reviews.

None of the characters are likable. You can't relate to them. The story is completely bad. It makes no sense at all.

There is no suspense in this movie. It is just a whole lot of stupid people doing stupid things. I don't usually do this, but I am telling you to not watch this movie. You will never get that nearly two hours back.

Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. It is boring, poorly conceived, stupid, weird actors playing weird characters that you don't care about.

REALLY HORRID.

Chris Skotchdopole's first attempt at directing didn't stand out, but it did have some merit. The writing credits belong to Chris Skotchdopole, Larry Fessenden, and Rigo Garay, and that's where I had a few criticisms, particularly regarding the story's dynamics. It was unique, but even for that, you need some believability - and this story was just lacking that! So, we can consider it a strained effort at an absurdist suspense-thriller.

The entire story hinges on the notion that Shane and Leah are truly in love. They are supposedly so in love that Shane is terrified of their marriage falling apart if the "blow job" video with another woman is exposed. However, these two have absolutely no chemistry. Garay portrays Shane as bug-eyed and anxious, while Peck depicts Leah as a manipulative power player. There's nothing to really bring these two together and keep them together, so in the end, none of this really adds up.

This isn't a captivating piece of filmmaking, but rather an idea that is stretched beyond the capacity to naturally maintain one's attention without relying on flashy filmmaking and even flashier themes.

So the movie is entirely about watching the train derail and whether the audience will be satisfied with how badly these horrible people get the comeuppance that is due each and every one of them a trillion-fold times infinity via a devilishly brutal climax.

And meh. Some stuff happens. But not nearly to the absurd degree needed to undue the abysmal portrayals throughout.

Instead, at the very end it sadly tried to play on sympathies that just simply weren't there. So no, it did not succeed at the Gothic Noir stage play thing it was going for - which is a total bummer since I usually like things that Larry Fessenden has a hand in.

It is tense. For sure. Someone might like that.

"Came back, Shane" was a funny line.

Not one character was believable or relatable. Everyone appeared to be in a bad mood. The reviews of 10 stating great characters, casting, etc were clearly related to the film makers or cast.

The story was ridiculous. This was a giant uninteresting slog.

Not one character was believable or relatable. Everyone appeared to be in a bad mood. The reviews of 10 stating great characters, casting, etc were clearly related to the film makers or cast.

The story was ridiculous. This was a giant uninteresting slog.

Not one character was believable or relatable. Everyone appeared to be in a bad mood. The reviews of 10 stating great characters, casting, etc were clearly related to the film makers or cast.

The story was ridiculous. This was a giant uninteresting slog.