Diamantino

Just because you toss whatever is in the kitchen cupboards & fridge into a pot doesn't necessarily mean it's a nutritious tasty meal. So it was with my take on this script. I suppose no direction/cohesiveness w/giant animated pink fluffy dogs running around (Suppose to mean anything?) can be funny. For the ladies our lead actor spends a lot of time lifting (probably with a large mirror) so that's a positive.

There are elements that showed promise: football and celebrity cult manipulation most of all (using a Cristiano Ronaldo-like clone; bad accent and family issues included). Especially if you happen to be Portuguese, but, of course, most viewers won't be. The production values are above average for what you'd expect, however the plot wanders, "serious" issues get lost, some of the acting is quite bad (a good turn from the protagonist and his evil twin sisters, though), and it is never as funny as it seems to think it is. In short: it's not great as a farce, and its not resolutely and wholeheartedly bad enough to be camp.

Very weird but also smart dark humour Portuguese movie. They had the strange idea of mocking in a spoof of football player Cristiano Ronaldo while also producing a distopy on a Portugal governed by far right who uses propaganda and genetic engineering to split from European Union and repell foreign non-white immigrants. Strongelly, it worked, although leading role character's dumbness does not convince very much. It is a poltical comedy (more than a sport one) with some surrealist touches (which are in the rich good-hearted stupid football player Diamanino's mind). It does what it is possible to annoy far right.

Im sitting in my couch this very moment wondering what i just watched. The politics of this movie are... wierd. Ig to have a lesbian couple break up just so diamontino (a man) can have a romantic relationship with what in his head is a child boy who he rescues from poverty is an odd (to put it lightly) decision from the directors. The movie would work perfectly without the lesbian (Aisha) turning straight due to dimantinos massive honkers. The exact same stuff could have happened without the need of converting a lesbian, Aisha could've pretended to be a boy indefinitely, she could've said that she was a secret agent saving him or some bullcrap. Another example is the ideas surrounding EU and immigration, i think the movies message is EU good, Nationalist bad? And that immigrants shouldn't die crossing the ocean?

What does this movie want to tell me? So the message of this movie is totally lost on me.

I tried to conjure up an absurd math equation which addressed the moving pieces that constitute Diamantino's 'plot' and gave up after "Comically evil twin sisters + Childlike megastar athlete ÷ (lesbian government spy couple - undercover refugee) = ..." The beauty of this is in not knowing what will happen next. Many movies can and actively do strive for unpredictability, but here is the rare reality of that achievement realized. It's cheap, in a way, just attempting that. I don't believe this film comes together in the end, but it has a lot of fun trying.

The central visual idea, which is plastered on the movie poster and might just be the only thing you know about this even if you don't totally about it, is that Diamantino (definitely not Ronaldo) is an internationally famous Portuguese soccer star who loves putting nutella on things and who, when 'in the zone', transports to a magical land of pink clouds and giant fluffy dogs. It's a visual metaphor for something that the viewer will likely either get immediately or scoff at. Thankfully, I found myself among the former.

The visual FX themselves are charming. Not just the green-screened pups bouncing (and eventually launching off into space) but the weird poorman's Minority Report tech setups and computer OS designs. Their feeling unreal added to the flow of this in such a nice, lowkey way.

I wouldn't necessarily say that the overtly political elements of the story bogged things down, but at times their prevalence made some of the general wackiness feel like shtick instead of an inspired genesis, and even more of a bizarre pairing when the film transforms into a full-on love story.

While it's far from perfect, I would definitely recommend this as something you need to see to believe, and the less said the better.