Land Shark

I didn't realise it was possible to make a movie this bad. Seriously. If I have a couple of school kids a video camera and a $10 budget, I expect more. Forget the 10 star reviews which were left with people trying to be witty, this is the pits. Pretty sure no actors were involved in it, just family and friends and passers by. It's not even so bad it's good, it's just so bad that it's bad. I couldn't find one redeeming feature in the whole film. How did anyone offer to distribute this shark turd. At least it was cheap to make and probably only took two or three hours to shoot.

As for shooting, pass my gun, I want to track down everyone involved in this and terminate their film careers with prejudice.

After only 15 minutes I could bare anymore. Terrible graphic and don't even get me started on the acting skills.... its not often I ever switch off a film but this was awful. I'd hoped it would be similar to the 2 part film ' creature ' which is a hybrid shark that can walk on land and has both lungs and gills - a really enjoyed that and went out and tracked down the dvd I loved it so much, but this.... christ almighty no idea if it gets better but I'm not wasting my time finding out.

Now, it could be that everyone who sees this movie is completely misunderstanding it. What is seen as terrible, wooden acting, is actually carefully worked-out performance meant to keep the viewer off-kilter. The papier-mâché creature, a shark injected with human DNA that can come on land, rather than being more laughable than a middle school kid's attempt at special fx, challenges our desire for spectacle and for demonizing nature. The generic synth music and stock musical cues, claimed by critics to be less emotionally inspiring than the sound of lint falling out a bellybutton, reimagines terror as a deconstruction of melody and music's immersive illusion.

There are a lot characters without names (with less characterization and screen time than the time it takes to roll your eyes) who die graphic, bloody deaths. This means POV shot with a distortion plugin, actor falls, screaming, shot of fake-looking shark jaws, then shot of ketschup being sprayed on a wall as if it were a hotdog. We see a hot date with dumb young adults literally talking about meeting on Tinder, which I'm sure is a commentary on how ephemeral and unreliable technology has rendered our relationships.

The rest of the movie follows two scientists, Foster and Lucinda, tracking down the Land Sharks and having several epic, nearly mortal battles with them. They work for an evil corporation (made up of one middle-aged woman on Skype) trying to weaponize sharks to fight on land and sea. Yes, it's only a slightly more absurd premise than Vincent D'Onofrio's attempt to weaponize raptors in Jurassic World.

Thankfully, our leads have turns of philosophical rivalry and sexual tension. They get profound dialogue such as this:

Foster: Well, we can't do anymore tonight, so, we'll have to get a motel.

Lucinda: Oh, separate rooms.

Foster: Trust me, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lucinda: At least we agree on something.

The movie ends with a confrontation between good and evil, man and nature, beauty and beast. We're left hungry for the chum suggestive of a continued saga in Land Shark 2: Land of the Sharks, dumped into the opaque waters of the conclusion.

I don't believe I watched this movie. I could only do it by writing this review most of the time, and looking up occasionally to see what was happening on screen. 2/10. Available on. Amazon Prime for your viewing pleasure.

I have never watched something so good in my entire life. The graphics were something else entirely and I applaud them profusely. The plot twists were drastic and unexpected and certainly kept me on my toes. I just couldn't wait to find out what happened next. The sharks were really scary and the use of photoshop was hard to spot. The acting was convincing enough to let me engage with the plot. I will be recommending this to all my friends.

The acting was so horrible especially after people showing no sympathy for friends being eaten by the shark, it was also too many jokes from the fat guy, he was never serious and I ca t say enough about the bad acting, this movie had zeroe good actors lol, it kinda seem like the rushed through the movie without redoing most of the scenes because it was really horrible. The best scene to me? There isn't any lol, I could make a movie better then this with $2 and a pack of bubble gum, the shark was pretty cool to me but whoever made this movie or whoever was behind it should be ashamed about it..