Homens Brancos Não Sabem Enterrar

The original was more raw and a decent representation of the times.

The new version is also good representation of the times, but feels less raw and has Hollywood polish all over it. It's hilarious that this qualifies as an rated R movie when it seems more like a PG or G rated movie.

There were some laughs and the story was okay, but don't expect too many similarities or a connection to the original. The only thing that was similar was that there was a black and white guy that randomly team up to enter a 2 on 2 basketball tournament. Everything else was pretty different.

I wish Disney/Fox would stop remaking classics to make a quick buck off of fans. It's disappointing because they're ruining the memories people have of the original versions.

If you have nothing better to watch then it's a decent time filler, but don't dedicate your time to watching it.

I don't think it's a 1/10 rating, but it's certainly not above a 6/10 rating. I'd put it around a 3 or 4 out of 10 rating. The characters were likeable, so I went with 4.

Where to begin? If this movie was "stand alone" it would be maybe a 3.5 star worthy made for tv movie. It could do little to be any more different from the classic Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson film. The two similarities are that, basketball is a theme, and one white character and one black character. Aside from that, they are not similar. It seems like the studio was so excited to license the title that they forgot to hire someone to write a script. They could have ripped the old script verbatim and it probably would have been better. Andrew Schulz' character may be the only watchable performance. That is not to say that all the acting was bad, but the plot and development would have made it impossible for a main character to stand out. Lance Reddick would be ashamed to have it dedicated to him. What a barely watchable pile of Hollywood money grab excrement.

First of all, selling this as a remake of a sensational film is a bad move. If you're not at least almost as good, you've already lost. But yeah, you probably get more views that way.

On its own, the film is OK. It's about basketball, after all, and it has one or two good scenes, such as Lance Reddick in the hospital. A 5 seems to be a fair rating to me.

In general, though, it's a good look at what's been lost in recent years. Microwave food instead of a home-cooked meal. Off-the-shelf goods instead of natural chemistry. Probably the zeitgeist of the decade. Maybe even Wesley and Woody wouldn't be able to make a film like the original WMCJ in 2023.

I don't know why anyone thought this was a good idea because the original White Men Can't Jump is great with two characters played by two actors that are almost impossible to replicate. The chemistry between Walls and Harlow is cheesy at best. Wesley Snipes who apparently is not a good basketball player and they ran most of his basketball scenes in show motion especially that spin move that would never work against anyone still looks better than anything they were doing in this with people that are not bad ball players from what I've been told. Then there is Woody. Woody and Snipes were perfect and terrible together, but in a believable way. You could see them being life long best friends even after all the awful things they did to each other afterwards. I fell like I just reviewed the original against the new one and that's the very reason why this isn't going to be popular at all. It will be compared to the original because the original is a time capsule of sorts and beloved by most everyone. If you haven't seen the original watch it. Skip this. If you have hulu give this one a go I guess, but do not spend money on it.

Here is a charmless remake that has the same ideas and characters as the original, but none of the energy. Director Calmatic's idea of a sports film is to put a rap soundtrack on and show us poorly shot and edited basketball scenes that are tedious to follow and care.

There are lots of rambling in this movie. This is not neccessarily a complaint. There are lots and lots of trashtalk in the original White Men Can't Jump too, except those are brought with wit and delivered by actors that know how to act intimidating and over-confident. The actors here are as flat as a cardboard. Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrellson are way out of Sinqua Walls and Jack Harlow's league.

So the story involves Harlow and Walls teaming up to play basketball. That's about it for the movie's depth in storytelling. The screenplay here has barely any emotional engagement. In the climax of the movie, in what was supposedly the high point of the movie, I felt nothing. Any other viewer will not feel anything. Not even our characters look like they felt anything. It's all a lazy string of basketball montages and dialogue so monotonous and uninteresting that it plays like a conversation you are stuck in and want to get out of.

This is a movie that thinks it has really cool vibe but is just a slog. Calmatic's previous film is House Party, another remake of a (somewhat) classic. Maybe it is time for him to work with material that are at least original. Maybe remakes like this shouldn't exist for the best.