- Lois Lane: We're so different. I was just some punk rock kid from Bakerline and you're... Superman.
- Superman: I'm punk rock.
- Lois Lane: [laughing] You are not punk rock.
- Superman: I like the Strangle Fellows, the P.O.D.s, and the Mighty Crabjoys.
- Lois Lane: Those are pop radio bands, they're not punk rock. The Mighty Crabjoys suck.
- Superman: Ah, well, a lot of people love 'em.
- Lois Lane: My point is I question everything and everyone. You trust everyone and think everyone you've ever met is, like... beautiful.
- Superman: Maybe that's the real punk rock.
- Lex Luthor: You piece of shit, alien!
- Superman: That is where you've always been wrong about me, Lex. I am as human as anyone. I love, I-I get scared. I wake up every morning, and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in front of the other, and I try to make the best choices that I can. I screw up all the time, but that is being human, and that's my greatest strength. And someday, I hope, for the sake of the world, you understand that it's yours too.
- Lex Luthor: Oh, that's beautiful. But none of this matters, you patronizing clown. The government gave me authority to kill you. If not today, then-
- [gets attacked by Krypto]
- Maxwell Lord: The one thing that liberals and conservatives can finally agree on is that Lex Luthor sucks.
- Superman: The DOJ has a warrant out for my arrest, so I'm gonna turn myself in.
- Lois Lane: Wait, what? Why?
- Superman: Maybe they'll take me wherever they took the dog. I don't know how else to find him.
- Lois Lane: It's a dog.
- Superman: Yeah, and he's not even a very good one, but... he's out there alone. And he's probably scared.
- Superman: You're driven by envy, Luthor. You couldn't be more obvious!
- Lex Luthor: No shit, I'm not dim. I'm aware envy consumes my every waking moment. 13L.
- [Ultraman blasts Superman in the eyes with his lasers]
- Lex Luthor: I know when they mention Galileo or Einstein or one of these other twits in the same breath as me, I feel a tide of vomit burn the back of my throat! But at least Galileo did something. He wasn't some dopey Venusian catapulted onto this planet just to have the world fawn over him! Because his strength illuminates how WEAK we all really are! So, my envy is a calling! It is the sole hope for humanity, because it is what has driven me to annihilating you! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1A! 1! A!
- Pa Kent: [to Clark] Parents aren't for tellin' their children who they're supposed to be. We are here to give y'all tools to help you make fools of yourselves all on your own.
- Lois Lane: That haircut should be against your vows!
- Guy Gardner: That what? That what should be what? I'll have you know that there are 348 chicks that say otherwise!
- Guy Gardner: How do you even know Superman, anyway?
- Lois Lane: I... just do.
- Guy Gardner: So, you know about the hypno glasses.
- Hawkgirl: Now she does.
- Guy Gardner: Well, I'm not saying who he is. Just that he wears hypno glasses. They make his face...
- [looks at Mr. Terrific]
- Guy Gardner: How do they work?
- [Looks back at Lois]
- Guy Gardner: They make his face look different in your brain when he wears them so that you don't know who he is.
- Lois Lane: Yes, I know this.
- Guy Gardner: So you know he's Clark Kent.
- Lois Lane: Why does he trust everyone?
- Guy Gardner: He doesn't; just us because we are also of the cloth.
- Lois Lane: Of the cloth?
- [Gardner points at his costume]
- Vasil Ghurkos: I know you won't kill me! You are too delicate and weak... like Superman!
- Hawkgirl: Ha. I'm not like Superman.
- [drops him to his death]
- Lex Luthor: I can't stand the Metahumans, but he's so much worse. Super... 'man'. He's not a man. He's an it. A thing with a cocky grin and a stupid outfit, that's somehow become the focal point of the entire world's conversation. Nothing's felt right since he showed up.
- Lois Lane: You have a flying saucer, but you couldn't get a faster garage door?
- Mr. Terrific: I haven't worked on that yet.
- Gary: Sir?
- Superman: [seeing Fortress of Solitude become a complete mess] What is this? Krypto!
- [Krypto appears and drags Supes's cape by mouth]
- Superman: What the hey, dude? I thought you destroyed the whole...
- [Turns to his robots]
- Superman: Superman robots, I thought I told you to keep an eye on him!
- Gary: We feed the canine, but he is unruly. And he realizes we are not flesh and blood and couldn't, in our heart of hearts, care less whether he lives or dies.
- Hawkgirl: [referring to Metamorpho] Maybe he should join the group!
- Guy Gardner: Ha ha ha! Please. I mean, no offense, but... that creepy mug is what you want representing The Justice Gang?
- Metamorpho: Justice Gang? That's a cool name!
- Guy Gardner: You're in.
- Lois Lane: That haircut should be against your vows!
- Guy Gardner: That what? That what should be what? I'll have you know, at least 348 chicks say otherwise!
- Gary: [a drunken Kara Zor-El crashes into the Fortress of Solitude] Sir, I think your cousin has returned.
- Superman: Yup...
- Kara Zor-El: What the hell, dude? Why did you move the door?
- Superman: I didn't move the door.
- Kara Zor-El: And where is my dog?
- Superman: [Krypto flies and pounces Kara as she laughs] Okay, well this is why he has behavioral issues.
- Gary: No boundaries.
- [Krypto keeps playing aggressively with Kara as she keeps laughing]
- Gary: It's not healthy, is it?
- Superman: [condescendingly] Mm-mm.
- Sydney Happersen: Mr. Terrific, I can help close the rift!
- Mr. Terrific: I don't need your help. I'm goddamn Mr. Terrific.
- Superman: [as the Justice Gang brutally fight the kaiju] Good gosh, there's gotta be a better way to do this!
- Cleavis Thornwaite: Ever since the discovery of the Kryptonian's master plan, he's gone off the deep end. Thoughts, Chris?
- Peacemaker: Can't say I'm surprised, Cleavis. It's guys like this, they always got a whole bunch of dark, ugly secrets.
- Cleavis Thornwaite: What do you mean, "guys like this?"
- Peacemaker: Thinks he's better than everybody else. Makes this declaration he's against killing people unless it's absolutely necessary. Really, dude? It kinda sounds like you're trying to make the guys who are a little more edgier than you look like jerks. Know what I mean?
- Cleavis Thornwaite: Mm-hm.
- Peacemaker: A lot of these guys, these heroes from the magazines, they're obsessed with me. 'Cause I'm more jacked than they are.
- Mr. Terrific: You brought that dog, man?
- Superman: Yeah, I... I didn't want him killing my parents' cows.
- Lex Luthor: Just my Monkey-Bots here, farming outrage 24/7. Trashing you online.
- Superman: [annoyed] Hashtag Supershit.
- Kara Zor-El: [stumbling out of the Fortress of Solitude with Krypto] Thanks for watching him, bitch!
- Mr. Terrific: [as the pocket universe portal starts tearing the earth open] This is why you don't create a damn pocket universe!
- Lex Luthor: [Superman grins even as he's being beaten] Oh, what are you smirking at, you idiot?
- Superman: Brain beats brawn.
- [to Ultraman]
- Superman: Sorry, chum.
- [whistles for Krypto]
- Lois Lane: [Mr. Terrific's T-Sphere finds Superman with Krypto, Metamorpho, and Baby Joey in the pocket universe] Do you have him?
- Mr. Terrific: Them. Superman, a mean dog in a cape, a weird baby, and a squiggle man.
- Lois Lane: ... What?
- [the first-half of Jor-El and Lara's message to Superman]
- Jor-El: We love you more than Heaven, our son. We love you more than land. Our beloved home will soon be gone forever, but hope vitalizes our hearts. And that hope is you, Kal-El.
- Lara: We have searched the universe for a home where you can do the most good, and live out Krypton's truth. That place is Earth.
- Lex Luthor: Superman, we finally meet. Would you like a coffee?
- Superman: Where's the dog?
- Lex Luthor: Dog?
- Superman: The dog, Luthor! You took the dog!
- Lex Luthor: [Eve records Superman on her phone] That's right, Eve. Get all of this.
- [Superman flips Luthor's desk across the office against the glass wall]
- Superman: WHERE'S THE DOG?
- Lex Luthor: I have no clue what you're talking about.
- Superman: [pause] He's just a dog.
- Lex Luthor: I don't know what dog you're talking about.
- [holds his mug up to his mouth]
- Lex Luthor: [muffled] Ugly dog in a cape?
- Superman: What did you say?
- Lex Luthor: I didn't say anything.
- Superman: [Superman is taken prisoner to the pocket dimension where Luthor is waiting for him] Your obsession with me is getting a little creepy.
- Eve Teschmacher: I thought you wanted to see me, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Olsen: I-I do, but Eve, how could I even really see you with Lex still in the picture?
- Eve Teschmacher: [upset] You're just trying to get information out of me.
- Jimmy Olsen: I swear to god, that's not it. I-I just know that if I could get some real dirt on him, then... maybe the two of us could...
- Eve Teschmacher: [lighting up] Could be together again?
- Jimmy Olsen: [after a long pause] ... Yeah.
- Eve Teschmacher: [Eve smiles for a moment, but looks away upset again] But you said my toes look like someone spilled shrimp cocktail on the floor.
- Jimmy Olsen: You have unconventional toes, who cares? There's other parts of you that people would find very attractive!
- Eve Teschmacher: Lex tortured a dog the other day.
- Jimmy Olsen: JESUS CHRIST!
- Eve Teschmacher: I know.