Butcher the Bakers

I was a little reluctant to take Butcher the Bakers as I'm incredibly picky about horror comedies. I can't say that I loved Butcher the Bakers but I also can't say that I hated it. There were a few parts that made me chuckle, a few parts that were amusing and a few moments that made me go wtf? The acting for the most part was pretty good. There were a few off-key moments but very few and mostly the very minor characters.

The pacing seemed a little jerky now and then. For the most part it flowed smoothly but then there were certain areas where it dragged just a little. Plot-wise it held up pretty well. One of the funniest parts for me was an unexpected meta-moment that made me laugh. The eponymous Bakers were just okay to me. They had a few amusing moments but for me the ladies saved the movie. Pat, Dani and Bones were the most amusing parts for me. Their timing and deliveries were pitch perfect. The mute 'Neil Armstrong' was also a favorite. It's surprising how much humour a disembodied arm can give. Particularly when you throw on a pair of googly eyes...

My main issues with the movie were the 'meh' feelings that the Bakers gave me and it was very loud. Not in the sound design, which seemed to be suitable, but there was a lot of yelling. It actually started to give me a headache after a bit. Usually movies don't bother me too much (heck, found footage movies never give me a headache or motion sickness) but there was so much yelling that it started to be uncomfortable. I am curious about some of the costuming decisions. Particularly as regards Dragomir 'Drag's' finger created forces. I'm curious if the choices were deliberate or due to budget constraints. I did like the Plague Doctor (but I'm always partial to a Plague Doctor, they're so creepy looking) and the voice for him was perfect. I would have loved to see/hear him more than a few of the others, except Bones. I always enjoyed seeing her. The effects were well within their budget and looked quite good. Particularly with the help of judicious editing. One choice that I did really love was Drag's look. Reaper's are generally shown in similar ways: suits, creepy or businesslike. Drag looks a bit greasy and bedraggled. It was an interesting and unique choice.

All in all, while it didn't thrill me much I think that I just wasn't the right audience. I won't try to discourage anyone from seeing it as what strikes your funny bone might just whack me on the elbow. I believe when it finds its right audience it will fare much better.

This entire movie was saved by the two lead actors who didn't seem like they were acting at all. They were very believable, giving hysterical, visceral performances of two likable characters. This movie is a solid 9/10 if one understands the genre of low-budget, campy comedic horror.

I'll preface this review with stating the obvious. This movie is bad. It takes bad to new levels. Its so bad I had to fight my way to the end kicking and screaming right through one of the co-leads presumably comedic dancing scene that only adds insult to injury.

Butcher the Bakers becomes a quickly confusing mess of poorly strung together scenes with even poorer acting. The wildly unappealing premise is muddied by stilted onscreen chemistry that is sprinkled with the worlds worst cockney accent.

I really hope the lead actors were just doing their friend a favor and have some other form of gainful employment. If they act for a living then this movie is proof that our country is doomed.

As this movie slowly and confusingly twists and turns its way to a painful (yet sweet relief of an end) you will find yourself asking time and time again "who the hell thought this was a good idea?".

This movie can "go fist" itself.