Viking Siege

This story of supernatural tree shaped men attacking a motley group of people in the middle ages has the look of a story with too many cooks spoiling the broth.

There were just too many characters who had superiority complexes, and the ones who would have the superiority complexes had the opposite.

The monks are depicted as ridiculous middle ages version of Frank Burns, and the other characters are just as one dimensional.

On the bright side, as contrived as it is, there is a bit of non contrived fates. A bit of "let the cards fall where they fall" look, instead of a deliberated goal appearance.

The biggest problem is "character". These characters all look like they were written by or for certain actors, which was probably the intention, but it looks too obvious. Way too many are too Hollywood, and few make sense for the era. For instance, the monks are depicted as cowardly weak mercenaries, when in fact the monks of the era could either be weak or mercenary, but couldn't be both.

There were too many Hollywood characters for the movie, too. Had it been a mini series, maybe it would work, although the characters were so standard and Hollywood that it would only work for the geekiest people.

More ridiculous was the woman who never ran out of arrows. I don't know where the arrows all were. They just appeared out of the air. I guess they dropped from the ceiling. Probably from an elaborate mechanism she devised that dropped three arrows every ten minutes.

A medieval romp with a posse of vengeful women (from a statistically unlikely village that contains only gorgeous females) planning to kill the monks who enslaved their relatives. Throw in the local Lord in the wrong place at the wrong time, Kung Foo and some double hard Vikings with a mysterious secret and you have the ingredients of a belter of a movie. The effects are average but its a humorous and well paced film able to keep you engrossed throughout. Its not thought provoking, have a subtle script or give strong characterisation but its does not mean to. Its provides enjoyable escapism and it would be pretentious to compare it to some art house play. People who value this sort of film will have fun and those who do not shouldn't watch. Its not great but with a bigger budget it might have been and it is most certainly not a waste of time.

The acting is what you would expect from an 8th grade Christmas play.

The cinematography reminds me of a video off of a iPhone....4s

Poor script, bad writing overall, and an acting class that would do better bagging groceries, makes for a really bad viewing. I find UK TV shows to be superior to US TV shows in nearly every aspect. The same cannot be said for nearly all of the UKs theatrical releases. For every hit you have 20 duds like this one. Now, the US is jut as bad except they produce worldwide blockbusters to offset the poor films.

Want your date to breakup with you and contemplate ritual suicide? Well grab a bucket of popcorn, gallon of coke, 6lbs of candy and how you die from a diabetic coma before she finishes watching this with you, so you do not have to watch her glare of pure hatred, as she starts sepeku in front of you

And yes, I have indeed used the facilities with more drama and better CGI than this horrid film

Seen far worse film's. But in the end I was a fast forward through the weak 'story'! Until something happened. I have given it two points 1. for the hot women and 2. the gore effect ...... Which were better than usual film of this budget. (Although they do become very repetitive) ......acting wasn't that terrible. But I'd say avoid by keep an eye out for the woman who did all the effects in the film. Potential. (no.......she's not my wife ha ha)

You gotta love how people that have to do with making a movie immediately come to IMDB and give their film a 10. The story is basically hot women. Otherwise, I did not see a story. I don't believe even one woman in this movie was unattractive. The acting was on par with something you would see in a high school play. It even makes me think of one of those horrible D&D movies they come up with these days. It's not the worst movie I have ever seen, but it is really a really bad low budget movie with no potential.