The Everglades Killings

Standard set of teenagers. You have the Alpha male douchebag, and a bunch of guys and girls that are obviously destined for trouble. They get offered something different for Spring Break, a tour of the Everglades. After learning about a mysterious abandoned house the expected adventure pursues. Its almost too predictable, yet its a very watchable experience.

This film contains the predictable level of nudity you might expect from this kind of film, so it doesn't disappoint there either. The ending may surprise.

First, I just want to say that this is not the best horror movie on the planet by any means. But it is much better than the garbage rating it currently has. I'll explain.

The movie starts off kinda slow. 30 minutes of jibber jabber that just pads the run time. During this time I truly felt that the movie was trash. It felt like all the convo was unscripted and that the entire cast of 10+ people were just talking off the top of their head.

But once the action rolls around I felt that one of two things was occurring.... Either the cast became AMAZING actors that were able to ping pong the dialogue off of each other perfectly, or the director fine-tuned everything with great skill and clarity. Or both I guess. At one point there are 10 people talking at the same time yet nothing sounds forced or contrived.

Then the kill scenes begin and they are exquisite! Everything is directed so well, the kills look real, the blood looks real, there isn't anything that looks cheap or tacky, the kill scenes are straight to the point like you would expect from real psychos instead of over-the-top nonsense. Even the snake looks real.

The practical effects are masterful for a first time movie. Seriously, why has Ben Wilder not blown up after this?? For a first time movie within this specific genre, he has succeeded expertly.

Storyline was somewhat unique. Characters were made very unlikeable. Nudity was top notch. Of course there are plot holes (why do they murder, etc), But overall it was and easy 90 minute watch.

I like bad movies with bad stories and bad actors, but this one was just horrible. I stopped about 30 minutes in it was so atrocious. I didn't care how it turned out. I just could not deal with the music, filming style and vapid characters. Even the Linnea Quigley cameo can't save this dog. Believe you me, when you watch this you'll want them all to be killed in the first few minutes just to get it over with.

Truth be told, I could only make it 30 minutes into this film before I had to turn it off. There is no use critiquing the plot or the acting or anything else in this disaster. I enjoy horror movies, I'll give pretty much all horror movies a shot, but seriously, 30 minutes in and I was done. Don't even give it that much.