Minha Namorada é uma Vampira

Right, well for some reason I had mistaken this movie for another movie, so I was in for a bit of a surprise when I sat down to watch it. But mind you, the surprise was not an unwelcomed one, because I actually ended up enjoying this movie.

First of all, I must say that I was thrilled to see James Franco on the cast list. However, it was a shame that he was only playing a minor supportive role in the movie, as he could definitely have amped up the movie if he had been given a larger role and more screen time. And when I saw Tori Spelling's name on the cast list, a shadow fell over me. Yeah, I am not a fan of hers; must be a residue leftover from the "Beverly Hills 90210" days. But I am happy to say that she is well past that image and she actually performed quite well in "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?".

The storyline was actually enjoyable, and I was definitely not expecting that this was a vampire movie. Turns out that it was actually an entertaining movie, and writers James Franco and Amber Viera definitely delivered a vampire movie with enough creativity and new-thinking to it that it managed to stand out from your average generic and run-of-the-mill vampire movie that come a dime a dozen.

I wasn't familiar with Leila George prior to this movie, I think. And I will admit that she definitely carried the movie quite well with her performance, and he had some nice help from co-star Emily Meade.

"Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" turned out to be a genuinely good movie, and a very surprising one at that. So I was entertained. Sure I was.

My rating for this 2016 movie is a six out of ten stars. And I will say that "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" is a movie that is well-worth taking the time and effort to sit down to watch, especially if you like vampire movies and want a vampire movie that brings something new to the genre.

Even witchcraft, romance, murder, betrayal, a Shakespeare play, vampires and same sex relationships could not salvage this made for TV horror/thriller fiasco. Add to the mix the sure sign of a movie flop is to include the spoiled born into wealth and Hollywood actress Tori Spelling in the film. But the producers did not stop there with this movie bomb, oh no! The producers guaranteed themselves a bomb when they also added the grossly over exposed actor James Franco to this awful mess who has appeared in over three (3) dozen films in the past two years. That is a rate of appearing in a film every 3 weeks so what kind of quality performance and/or film would you expect James Franco to be appearing in at his rate of film appearances?

The only saving grace to this horror-able film are the two main characters that being actresses Leila George who is the vampire cults latest recruit and the newly born vampire Emily Meade. With a big open heart I give this crappy film a 4 out of 10 rating.

I'm sure the executives at Lifetime were proud of themselves when they green-lit the remake of "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" "We're letting everyone know we're in on the joke! How cool are we right now?" one of them might have crowed. "And we got James Franco!" another one probably squealed. "Tori and Ivan are also on board, but of course they would be, amiright?" I'll admit I was kind of looking forward to this, too, but there were a few things that made me apprehensive, starting with the the discovery that our heroine would be in the clutches of a lesbian vampire, not a dangerously possessive boyfriend. (Christ, does *everything* have to be about vampires and zombies now?) But what really had me wary was that 2016's "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" was, unlike the original, going to be intentionally campy.

I thought the campiness the 1996 original was largely overstated (Lifetime's "Drew Peterson: Untouchable" delivered far more camp thrills for my basic cable dollar). That said, the original "Mother, May I...?" is still a hoot, and it's fun because everyone involved was so earnest. For me, it's that lack of self-awareness that's essential for elevating a movie or TV show from a mere fiasco to a camp classic. When "Valley of the Dolls" was brought to the big screen, the studio thought they were making a hard hitting drama. "Mommie Dearest" was supposed to be Oscar bait. "The Swarm" was meant to be the ultimate disaster movie, instead of just a disaster. But the remake/re- imagining of "Mother, May I...?" is *trying* to be campy from the get-go, and the result is predictably underwhelming.

Most underwhelming of all is James Franco. If ever there's an actor working today who's worthy of being called the New Nicolas Cage, it's Franco, who can deliver Oscar-caliber performances ("127 Hours") and then go bats--t crazy ("Spring Breakers") without breaking a sweat. But like Cage, Franco doesn't always go nuts when we need him to. Just as Cage phoned it in on "Left Behind," Franco, as a director of a college production of "Macbeth," is literally sitting on the sidelines in "Mother, May I...?", doing little more than offering a few winking asides to the TV audience. Tori Spelling, cast as the mother this time out, does what she can to make lightning strike twice, but most of the camp value she brings to the screen has less to do with her performance--which is OK--and more to do with her being Tori Spelling, Reality Show Joke/Tabloid Punching Bag. Ivan Sergei, whose performance as the psycho boyfriend in the original was so much fun, is cast in the more subdued role of a college literature professor.

It should be noted that "Mother, May I...?" is technically proficient, with better acting (notably Leila George, who's sleeping with danger, and Emily Meade, the danger with whom she's sleeping) and better direction by Melanie Aitkenhead (not James Franco, as was reported at one time), than the original. However, the script, by Amber Coney from "the twisted mind of" James Franco, is ho-hum, Franco's mind not nearly twisted enough. At the end of the day, the movie plays like a bland episode of "American Horror Story," with all the gratuitous nudity, over-the-top performances, and bitchy lines that make *that* show fun cut out.

Pearl (Emily Meade) is turned into a Nightwalker by her vampire girlfriend. Pearl accidentally kills her while trying to get away. Five years later, the vampire vixens expect Pearl to replace their lost member. They kill abusive men and drain their blood. Pearl courts college student Leah Lewisohn (Leila George). Their professor (Ivan Sergei) is teaching vampire literature. Drama teacher (James Franco) is directing the school play MacBeth and Leah is given the part with Pearl as Lady MacBeth. Bob is interested in Leah and warns her mother Julie Lewisohn (Tori Spelling) about Pearl.

The title is ridiculous. I guess it refers to Tori Spelling's old movie. That's all the more reason to make this into a spoof of the earlier movie. Instead, Franco tries to write a sincere lesbian vampire movie. It can't work since everybody is expecting exploitation camp or a complete spoof. The production itself is par for the course in a Lifetime movie. This might be edgy thirty years ago but it's just bad cheese now. This does not bode well for Franco's writing skills and sensibilities. It's heavy-handed and tone-deaf with some badly written dialog. The harder he tries, the worst he makes it. Meade and George are fine but I can't stand Spelling and Franco.

I was so disappointed in this movie. I am a big James Franco fan, and I expected so much more. I really liked the original "Mother May I Sleep With Danger" and I expected this one to at least be similar or relate to, maybe a follow up. But nothing could be further froth truth other than the fact that Tori Spelling plays the mother in both movies. As I was watching it, I was waiting for a moment that would hook me in, but that moment never came. I finally gave up about half way through, after my husband had already fallen asleep. It was a little campy, but not campy enough to be entertaining. I generally like vampire movies, but there wasn't even enough of that for this to truly be a vampire movie. Honestly, there wasn't enough of anything to qualify this as any particular genre of movie, just bad. Unless you have a thing for really sub-par lesbian vampire movies (and not a great attempt at that) then steer clear of this one. Wish I had a better report. :(