No Olho Do Furacão

There are times when all I want to do is to sit in a darkened movie theater, turn off my brain, and let a movie with a silly, over-the-top premise wash all over me. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS films are an example of an "A" in this category. Last year's GEOSTORM was a "B" (it was so over-the-top that it was fun, especially when the meteorologist declared - as if he was reciting Shakespeare - "Oh my God, it's a GEOSTORM!"). Unfortunately, a "C" example of this is THE HURRICANE HEIST.

Directed by Rob Cohen - who brought us the original FAST AND FURIOUS film lo' those many years ago - THE HURRICANE HEIST tells the tale of a HEIST set during a...anyone?...HURRICANE. That's pretty much all you need to know of the plot. The rest is action, escapes, weather gone bad, bad guys being bad guys and good guys being good guys.

The good guys are Toby Kebbel (so good as the motion capture bad-guy ape in DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES), perennial "B"-movie actress Maggie Grace (TAKEN, LOST and the immortal HOT GIRL, FAST CAR, EATING A BANANA) and Ryan Kwanten (I guess he was in TRUE BLOOD). What do these good guys have in common? They are not hard to look at on the screen. The two men also have really bad Southern accents.

The bad guys are led by Ralph Ineson ( a perennial "that guy" in such films as STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY and KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE) and a host of "red shirts". The problem is that Ineson plays his bad guy role as a "that guy" and the "red shirts" have no personality at all. One guy tries to be the "loose cannon" but he doesn't go far enough, nor does Ineson or ANY of the bad guys.

Oh...did I mention Ben Cross (Sarek in the new STAR TREK films)? Cross leaped off the screen in the Oscar winning film CHARIOTS OF FIRE way back in 1981 and was going to be "the next big thing". How has that worked out for him? I'm sure he's making a nice living, but...

But...you don't come to this kind of films for the acting. You come to it for the insane premise, the over-the-top acting, the out-of-this-world stunts and special effects. Unfortunately, THE HURRICANE HEIST plays each one of these "safely". The premise is insane, just not insane enough. The acting is melodramatic - just not over-the-top. The script doesn't really have any "oh-my-gosh, did he just say that" lines and the action, stunts and special effects are pretty good, (maybe even good), but not great.

A pretty mediocre time at the movies. It did serve it's purpose, I turned my brain off for two hours. I just wish it didn't power down as well.

Letter Grade: C (thanks for trying)

5 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)

I completely in awe. From the opening scene to the ultimate grand finale, this film excelled in unimaginable ways. For starters, I can truly tell that they had top, world renowned scientific advisors that confirmed the reliasm of each scene. I am a Harvard graduate, just like the great rapper Lil Pump, and I feel that this masterpiece can be used to educate this countries first responders and inspire future world leaders to solve major conflicts across the continent.

Not only did this movie affect me on a personal level, but it has inspired me to become a professional storm chaser. I have spent my entire life savings ($300) modifying my 2001 Honda Civic to protect me in my storm chasing endeavors. Wish me luck, I will need it since I am aiming to chase whatever Hurricane arises in the future.

Sincerely,

Keyser Söze

When I saw the overall score of 4/10 I didn't expect much. It's far fetched and unrealistic in a lot of areas. However the 100 minutes flew past. It's action packed pretty much all the way through. Ok there's some moments of poor acting and there's plenty of places you will say to yourself "no way would that happen", but overall it's well worth watching. Just don't expect a blockbuster. I thought giving it 5 was a little unfair so I gave it a 6/10.

I didn't really expect much of this movie, but I got surprised, it was definitely better than expected. It is sort of a Fast & Furious style movie. Definitely entertaining.

These are the fakest southern accents I've heard in a long time. And cheesy acting. Also hurricane is blowing away cars and stuff but not people