Z/Rex: The Jurassic Dead

If you live in a state where marijuana is legal (and you're partaking), then you're going to love this movie. If you're a heavy drinker (and a happy drunk), you'll probably like it too.

If you're into tripping or just had your wisdom teeth pulled, if you're an eternal optimist, a North Korean physicist or a Gregorian Monk, you may also find it to be a rough in the diamond.

If your kid is an Honor Student, if you're into Settlers of Catan, Twister, MAGA, Bernie Sanders, Duke Nukem, country music, anime, Lambada, fake news, chem trails, Hummers, gun rights, hard salami, survivalism, canned beans, Beano, gluten-free meth, lactose-free beer pong, the welfare state or the vegan lifestyle ... any of those, a must see!

The only kind of people who wouldn't like this movie are 1) Reiki healers, 2) Black Mirror snobs and 3) communists (but not necessarily in that order).

Acting is sincere, charming and self-aware ... and ... THE DINO F/X ARE PRACTICAL instead of digital ... we talking full-on Toho style hallelujah Gojira-lovers rejoice!

Concept, direction, editing, sound and soundtrack all hit the bullseye ... despite the cockamamie script, which must've been written by a brain-fried dope-dabber in a room full of lava lamps and clouds of burning hemp incense. Regardless, HIGHLY ENTERTAINING with countless intended and unintended LOLs. Party time!

That's right, I picked up the Blu Ray + DVD Combo Pack for $1...cover looked cool, I like-y Dinosaurs and also like-y all things "Dead", maybe this is one of those "so bad, its good" films like Sharknado or Lavalantula...ugh, no, no, no! Cheap FX, bad blonde wigs, bad acting, cheap green screen backgrounds & laughable rubber dinosaurs that make the 1960s Godzilla look like an Oscar Nominee for best makeup! Bottom line is...even at $1, I overpaid! I'm too embarrassed to ask for a refund at the DOLLAR TREE, so I'm hoping I can unleash this vile combo set on some unsuspecting fool at my next home Garage Sale! Shooo, I'll even GIVE It away!

THIS 🎥 is garbage I won't EVEN disgrace MY shelf with THIS movie AGAIN!! I'm just GONNA GET RID OF IT.. So goofy but pothead military guys and school kids at the end of the world and everyone is turned to zombies. Much less the damn DUMB DINOSAURS...

HEY EVERYBODY ITS ME (4), and today we review .... return of the living t rex ....the movie !!!!!

SO here we have a movie ....that ALMOST looks like a VR experience cut scene in one of those old fun park attractions .... you know ? ...no you dont ? .. WELL take my word for it , it was a thing !!!!!!! So much green screen used here that i would bet cash the editors eyes are still trying ot recover LOL .... trust me bro ..i know the feels .........

this thing was terrible ......and i know terrible, trust me , ive watched my own films .......BUT it was crazy in a good way, a fun way ...IF only they had used a REAL location instead of the green screen it would have been 10000000000 times better HOWEVER they used the greenscreening to hide SO much that they would have HAD to hide anyways and probably could not have otherwise ..... so ... in this case who knows it might have been the best call .. PLUS who can just find an old science type bunker you can film in laying around ??? But with the green screening issues , like some of the backgrounds didnt sit still, or the actors when moving they didnt exactly match up to the physics of the ground or walls ....or anything lol.... with all that .... they still persevered .....still marched on and made this thing happen ... and i say ...good job .... because .... you did a thing !!!!

And they DID do a fantastic job of hiding the human actors legs in the dino suite throughout the film ... also hiding them just out of frame OR behind a barrel or someone etc ...so points for getting creative on slight of hand ....in fact 75 % of this film was honestly slight of hand ....... just a lot of "as long as people dont notice" it looks FINE ........

pros ... i man ... dinosaurs, zombies , beefy guys talking trash, explosions ....just missing tons of boobs and i would have swore i was back in the 80's !!!!!! And due to the greenscreening the over all film had its own kind of aesthetic to it .... and it was "neat" i guess ....

cons .... bout everything else .... acting was rough, the jokes were rough, the references , i enjoyed a bit but maybe a little over played .... OR maybe they should have just stuck to the duke nukem ones .. ongoing ? ..i dont know .. but the puns / jokes were kind of .."stale" ? ... and the editing left me asking myself .... did i do a bag a shrooms laced with meth wrapped in taco sauce before i started this ? .... because WHAT !?!?!??!?? It was like ...someone stuck it in a blender and pushed the "lets hope for the best" button .... thats a button on blenders right ? ... BECAUSE IT SURE MUST HAVE BEEN FOR THIS ONE !!!!!!!!! It just clips along at points lighting fast where "something" happens ... dont know what but now 2 dudes are not with the group ..how ??? Well one guy says he tied his shoes ......so what about the other guy ..howd he get lost ? .... so ...yea ... like ... what ? .... im pretty sure stevie wonder edited this one .......

over all the only question i ever ask is "was it entertaining " the answer is ..... MAYBE ? ..... i suppose it IS ...IF you are into 1.5 hour long music videos from industrial bands .....just put this on and play your favorite eisbrecher song .... or ohgr or something .......BUT even without that .....its oddly entertaining for the oddball visual-ness ? ... and terrible-ness ? ... dang .. it does give you a little something .. BUT is it enough ? ... this time i just dont know .......

3/10.

Right...

Well, I knew beforehand already that when I sat down to watch a movie such as "Z/Rex: The Jurassic Dead", then I would be in for a questionable affair. But still, I decided to watch it for two reasons. The first and foremost important factor is that this was a pseudo-zombie movie after all, and anything zombiesque and I am there. Secondly, there was a chance, however slim, that it might actually turn out to be so campy that it would be enjoyable.

Turns out, it wasn't...

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of the 2017 movie titled "Z/Rex: The Jurassic Dead", because it is abysmal. Yeah, abysmal, that is the best word to summarize this movie with a single word.

There was so much green screen used, and it wasn't even properly made, because it looked so god awful and so fake that it was laughable. And even a blind person would stop, turn his head and go 'oh no they didn't!'. It was that bad.

As for the acting, well let's just be blunt and say that this isn't going to harvest any kind of awards. For the most parts, then acting was still a work in progress I suppose. Mia Paris (or Mia Klosterman) was actually the only one whom put on a memorable performance throughout this entire movie. And she could do nothing to salvage this wreck. And how Andy Haman got cast for this movie was simply beyond my comprehension.

The characters in the movie were just about as deep and interesting as soggy cardboard, and they had the dialogue to match that as well. So it was sort of semi-hilarious to watch the actors and actresses stumble through this horrible script and deliver atrocious dialogue.

The CGI and special effects were ludicrous. Everything was just so bad to witness and it makes you cringe from time to time.

"Z/Rex: The Jurassic Dead" is by no means worth the time, money or effort. Some of us suffered through the entire movie so you don't have to.