- [from trailer]
- Mr. Simmons: Never fear. I have every minute planned out for this trip. Getting anyone lost is definitely not on *this* agenda!
- Grandpa Phil: Mmm, you ever travel with a dozen kids before?
- [from trailer]
- Eugene Horowitz: Arnold almost killed me, but then, saved my life, got me a new fish, kept me from going bad. Thanks, Arnold! What a pal!
- [gets attacked by a pigeon]
- Eugene Horowitz: I'm okay!
- [from trailer]
- Arnold: I know this video wouldn't have happened without you, Gerald. I can't thank you enough!
- Gerald Johanssen: You should thank Helga. This was her idea. You should see all the videos she has of...
- Helga Pataki: Of the things! Heh, around the city, it's amazing! Anyway, it's done. We're going to San Lorenzo.
- Arnold: Wow. Thank you, Helga.
- [He touches her shoulder, and she buzzes and hears fireworks]
- Helga Pataki: [happily] Oh! And I... have to go wash my socks!
- [from trailer]
- Sid: The Legend of Arnold will be passed down from kid generation to kid generation and onward, and Gerald is the Keeper of All Legends, the Teller of All Tales. Take it away, Gerald.
- Gerald Johanssen: [clears throat] We call him "Arnold", friend to all, force for decency, doer of good. He's the most dependable, trusty, true blue friend I can ever imagine. Help you in a second, no questions asked.
- [from trailer]
- Dino Spumoni: Arnold put me back together with my old partner Don and remade my career. I get applause from fans, but Arnold's the real star, baby!
- [from trailer]
- Pigeon Man: [speaking from Notre Dame cathedral] Arnold helped me escape the cage of my old rooftop habitat. Now, I'm as free as a bird! Merci, Arnold.
- [from trailer]
- Big Patty: Arnold listened to me and treated me just like another friend. He's, y'know, pure of heart. I'll never forget that, Arnold.
- [from trailer]
- Gerald Johanssen: Pure of heart. That's Arnold. And that's why he deserves to win the trip to San Lorenzo, because he's done so much for others. He's a humanitarian, just like his parents, and they help us through humanity. Hey, Arnold, you're a bold kid and a true hero.
- Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a question. Does this dump get Wi-Fi?
- Lasombra: Yes.
- Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: [gasps]
- Lasombra: But I'm not giving you the password.
- Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: You monster!
- Lasombra: [beat] How did you guess?
- [to burly guard]
- Lasombra: Go change it to the other password! And don't forget to write it down this time!
- Curly Gammelthorpe: Psst! Do you need an inside man? I can be the camp snitch. Wink.
- Lasombra: Sorry, kid. You are too loco even for us villains.
- Grandpa Phil: [referring to Arnold's parents] Oh, I'm sorry, Arnold. I miss them, too. But I'm glad you get to see them even if it's only in a dream. Oh, but it's better than the nightmare I keep havin'. I live in a rundown old boarding house, renting my rooms to a bunch o' weirdos who always want things from me.
- Arnold: This whole trip's been about one thing. I want to find my lost parents, but I feel like I'm about to put us all in...
- Helga Pataki: Yeah, yeah, I know all about your parents. How do you feel about *me?*
- Arnold: Huh?
- Helga Pataki: You wouldn't even *be* here without me! Oh, Arnold, I may act like I don't care! I may even say I hate you, but that's a cover! I actually *do* care about you.
- Arnold: Huh?
- Helga Pataki: Oh don't play dumb, Arnold. You know what I'm talking about! You're like some weird old wise man, for crying out loud! I know you can handle the truth, and I can, too!
- Arnold: What are you talking about?
- Helga Pataki: I'm talking about the fact that I really like you, Arnold, like thunder likes lightning, like faces like fists! You know, *like*-like! In fact, I lo...
- Arnold: [gasps] There's a boat coming!
- [from trailer]
- Harold Berman: I was a one-dimensional bully until Arnold showed me my sensitive side.
- [from trailer]
- Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: [referring to Arnold] He helped me get over myself. Now I'm tolerant, gracious, and self-effacing. Oh, and humble. I'll get a copy of this, right?
- [from trailer]
- Coach Wittenberg: I can inaudibly say that the over-esteemed Arnold put the "Coach" back into "Coach Wittenberg"!
- Grandpa Phil: Arnold, you're going to the jungle. So don't catch any tropical diseases like malaria, or diphtheria, or cholera, or yellow fever, or hookworm, or elephantitis, or leprocy, or tennis elbow...
- Arnold: [yelps as he sees Grandpa outside the plane window]
- Grandpa Phil: ...or itchy armpits, or boom-boom fever, or Alder's neck rash!
- Crewman: [to Grandma] Hey, crazy lady! Get outta my stair truck!
- Grandma: [laughs dementedly]
- Grandpa Phil: ...or Palmer's knee, or Borneo's disease, or... I don't know... athlete's foot!
- Arnold: Y'know, I'm really gonna miss Grandma and Grandpa.
- Helga Pataki: We didn't sign up for this, Arnold, but you knew that already. Now we're literally up the river without a stinking paddle!
- Gerald Johanssen: Do you notice anything strange about this place? There are no grownups here.
- Helga Pataki: *That's* the weird part?
- [first lines]
- Arnold: Grandma! Grandpa! You have to see this! I found a map! A map, the key to finally finding my missing parents.
- Arnold: I know, Grandpa. "Don't go in there for a while."
- Grandpa Phil: [tossing Arnold's hair] Ho ho! Ya know me so well, short man.
- Arnold: Did you wash your hands?
- Grandpa Phil: I *knew* I forgot somethin'!
- Gerald Johanssen: Hey, Arnold, ready for the best day of school?
- Arnold: The best day, Gerald?
- Gerald Johanssen: Yeah. Today's the last day of school. Therefore, by *my* calculations...
- Arnold: It's the *best* day.
- Arnold: San Lorenzo? *The* San Lorenzo?
- Harold Berman: Is that the new Mexican restaurant?
- Stinky: Naw. That place has been there a while.
- Mr. Simmons: Close, Stinky. It's a beautiful, proud republic to our south. This is where we'll go if we win the contest.
- Harold Berman: To a Mexican restaurant!
- Grandma: [holding a handmade blowpipe] Venture forth armed with this, Kimba.
- Grandpa Phil: Pookie! Arnold will never get a handmade blowpipe through security! Oh, and, uh...
- [rummaging through Arnold's drawer, takes out a stapler]
- Grandpa Phil: Here, short man. Take this instead. It'll remind you of home.
- Arnold: Um, thanks?
- Rhonda Wellington Lloyd: [gasps] My Hair!
- Nadine: You know what they say, Rhonda. "It's not the heat. It's the humidity."
- Mr. Simmons: Harold, why do ya have a deli platter?
- Harold Berman: My mom gave me this in case there's no food in San Lorenzo.
- Mr. Simmons: There's plenty of food there, Harold. No platter necessary.
- Harold Berman: No platter?
- [Helga uses an arrow to try to dislodge her locket]
- Arnold: Hey, Helga?
- Helga Pataki: Aaah! Hey, Arnold...
- [the arrow falls. Helga kicks it away awkwardly]
- Arnold: Helga, I've known you my whole life, practically, and you've always been angry and kinda, you know, mean.
- Helga Pataki: [mad] Yeah? So?
- Arnold: But I've also seen you be really loyal and super brave. So I always wondered if maybe you were mean to me because, well, you loved me.
- Helga Pataki: [soft] Love?
- [then defensive]
- Helga Pataki: You? Yeah, sure, I mean like I'd love a root canal! Heh...
- Arnold: Listen, I know you tried to tell me before, and I wasn't ready to hear it, but now, this whole thing, the trip to San Lorenzo, getting away from Lasombra, finding my parents, it's all cause of you. Your locket.
- Helga Pataki: Locket? What locket?
- [Said locket falls to the floor. Arnold picks it up, hands it to Helga]
- Arnold: Your locket! It woke up my parents! You did it all, just to help me. And... and...
- [He takes her hands in his, closes his eyes. The two kiss]
- Helga Pataki: Arnold! I mean...... everybody outta my way, hair boy! geez! what are you? blind? don't you know how to not crash into people?
- Gerald Johanssen: Got one more, Helga?
- Helga Pataki: Maybe you should get walking lessons for your birthday, Arnold.