Carga Preciosa

An action movie with some good scenes, some good lines (best of them being a drunk Nick Loeb asking 'What brings you to Thailand?' and Mark-Paul Gosselaar replying 'Thailand? We are in Mississippi man…'), some good ideas and some good characters (Logan, played by Jenna B. Kelly above all).

In the end, however, the cast fails to catch, the plot doesn't entertain and the film doesn't work.

Probably Claire Forlani shouldn't be older than MP Gosselaar, surely some key scenes (the boat chase, the final showdown, the heist…) should be more convincing.

And the presence of Bruce Willis only worsens the things because it heightens the expectations. A few more films like this and his tough-guy character risks to become laughable.

A few weeks have passed, and that of course means we get yet another movie from the sausage factory that is of schlock producers Randall Emmett and George Furla. This is yet another effort of theirs that stars Bruce Willis. Well, actually it's hard to say that he "stars" in this movie, because once again he appears in a movie where it's clear he knocked off his few scenes in just a couple or so days of shooting.

It's just as well, because Willis gives yet another lazy performance that further shows he doesn't give much of a darn to his few remaining fans these days. Actually, Willis' sleepwalking comes across as Olivier compared to some of the other actors. It was hard to say who gives the worst performance in the movie, but ultimately I give the award to Jenna B. Kelly, who plays Logan. She doesn't seem to be trying at all to add emotion or any other signs of acting to her lines.

In fairness to Kelly and the rest of the cast, they have to deal with a screenplay that is packed with gawd-awful lines of dialogue that even the best thespians would have difficult selling to an audience. What's worse is that some of these lines of dialogue are intended to be funny, and not only are they not funny, they seem to be mocking the audience who is watching this movie.

As for the (limited) action, it's routine at best, and flat and uninteresting at its worst. You may be wondering if there is ANYTHING good to say about this movie. Well, some of the camera-work does impress at times - I wasn't expecting the sometimes elaborate moves by the camera for a straight to DVD movie such as this. Especially one that is bad in every other way you can think of.

This is a lame, low budget video on demand action film with the usual $1 million a day appearance from Bruce Willis. The only notable performance is from Willis's henchman, Simon (Daniel Bernhardt) when he talks to some of his boss's floozies at the poolside.

Duplicitous crook Karen (Claire Forlani) attempts to cheat crime boss Eddie (Bruce Willis) from a heist job but when he finds out he threatens to kill her unless she makes good for the full amount.

Karen goes for help to her ex lover Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) who has his own crew of misfit hustlers and persuades them to steal an armoured car containing valuable diamonds but Eddie's henchmen are in hot pursuit and Jack is unsure how much he can trust Karen.

Precious Cargo has little that is original, it is a passable time waster but the smart alec dialogue from Gosselaar and his crew quickly becomes tiring and the acting from leads is bland.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar gets to show his action hero chops(I don't think he's been in a movie like this as the lead before).

Bruce Willis making a habit of playing the bad guy in these, for the paycheck, Direct-to-Video movies that get limited theatrical releases because he's got second billing in it.

Daniel Bernhardt was more worthy as Willis' formidable henchmen.

It is just an action movie, plan and simple, about a cool truck heist. Some decent gun play and a few cool back and forth one-liners (nothing that will go down in history like yippee ka-yay),that are indeed fun for the moment.

If you need to be entertained it gets the job done.

Boy, did wisecracks degenerate pretty severely since Die Hard and the good ol '90s. This faceplant reeks of cheap thrills, direct-to-DVD actors and, of course, a 150 year old Bruce Willis. I'm about 2/3 into the movie and I've already forgotten half of the plot. Mark-Paul Gosselaar, the Michelangelo of Thieves apparently, acts with the kind of confidence only a guy who thinks Wakeboarding is an extreme sport would. And did I mention every girlfriend is a sniper? Granted, no adults were involved in the making of 'Precious Cargo', or it wouldn't have been made at all. This train wreck is what happens when subpar directors try to make movies for millennials – the most unlikely-to-happen plot in the universe right now.