- Geppetto: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.
- Jiminy Cricket: A lie can really change a person, Pinokes!
- Pinocchio: [after his nose suddenly grows] What's happening, Jiminy?
- Jiminy Cricket: [climbs onto his nose] Looks like some sort of fairy magic. Kind of on the nose, if you ask me.
- Honest John: We need a simple, strong stage name. Slab Oakley. Chad Log
- [gasps]
- Honest John: I've got it. Chris Pine.
- Jiminy Cricket: Well, how do? Cricket's the name. Jiminy Cricket, to be precise. And I'm here to tell you one humdinger of a tale!
- [first lines]
- Jiminy Cricket: [sings] When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true... Isn't that a catchy little tune?
- Jiminy Cricket: Pinocchio is running around loose without a conscience! Can you imagine the trouble he's gonna get into?
- Sofia: Won't want that on MY conscience.
- Honest John: Everybody who's anybody wants to be a *somebody*!
- Pinocchio: Then I wanna be real!
- Honest John: Why on Earth would you want to be real when you can be... FAMOUS?
- Pinocchio: I'm sorry I didn't come home after I got kicked out of school!
- Geppetto: You got kicked out of school?
- Pinocchio: Yes! For being a puppet, so I joined a puppet show and became famous.
- Geppetto: You became famous?
- Pinocchio: Well, almost famous. I danced in a puppet show and made lots of money, but then I got kidnapped and locked in a birdcage, so I had to tell a bunch of fibs to Jimminy so that my nose could grow so I could escape, but then I got scooped up by a coach fool of foolish kids where I was taken to Pleasure Island where I learned to drink... eh, I forget what they called it, but anyway, Pleasure Island was bad because I grew donkey ears and was chased by the bay crew creatures who wanted to sell me to the salt mines, but Jimminy helped me, and we jumped off a cliff into the sea and swam to shore where we found you sold all your clocks to buy a boat where you could look for me, and now we're here!
- Geppetto: You did all that in one day?
- Pinocchio: Yes.
- Geppetto: My goodness, I haven't done a fraction of that in my whole life!
- Jiminy Cricket: [to Pinocchio] Sofia said Geppetto left about two hours ago, headed south. She agreed to airlift us so we can search for...
- Sofia: Hold on one gosh-darn minute. Let's get something straight here, Mr. Cricket. I said I'd airlift you, not him. I can't carry a heavy block of wood. No offense, kid.
- Honest John: Well, well, well. Stromboli! So that old rascal's back in town. Gideon, remember the time I tied strings on you and passed you off as a puppet?
- Stromboli: Ladiiies and gentlemen, I present to you the eighth wonder of the world: the one and only... PIIIIIIINOCCHIOOOOOOOOOO!
- [from trailer]
- Pinocchio: Hello, Pops!
- [Geppetto screams and gasps in horror as he flings Figaro to the side and crashes into some of his clocks]
- Jiminy Cricket: [falling back off the violin scroll, then looking over] Jumpin' jeepers!
- Headmaster: Out! Get Out!
- [he angrily throws Pinocchio out of school]
- Headmaster: Get out and stay out!
- [Kids laughing]
- Headmaster: School is for real children. Not ridiculous puppets. Puppets belong in the puppet show. Ah, come on!