Dilwale

Here's the thing with Rohit Shetty movies: we know it's going to be the leave-your-brain-behind type. We know it's not going to make any sense. We know the internet trolls and the twitterati are going to bite into the movie even before it releases.

And yet we watch it. For the simple reason that he makes us laugh.

Somewhere in the middle of Chennai Express, the jokes had dried up, the quips and the crisp dialogue had thinned, and the monotony was there to be seen. Singham Returns exposed that even further.

But this one takes the cake.

Dilwale is Rohit Shetty's worst movie. It's painfully fake and hopelessly contrived; an assembly-line piece of garbage that mistakes the audience for a fool.

So we have Shah Rukh Khan playing Kaali (go figure!), a retired son of a mafia boss, who lives with his younger brother Veer (Varun Dhawan) in Goa, the setting of many of Shetty's films. Veer's love interest is Ishita (a lovely Kriti Sanon). And Kaali has a brief, turbulent love-hate past with Meera (Kajol) in Bulgaria, which catches up with him later in his life.

In the midst of all this there are mafia bosses, a local Goan don for the villain, a sidekick (Varun Sharma, aces it) and the usual Rohit Shetty comedians thrown in for good measure.

This is a movie laced with stereotypes. Be it the step brothers with one of them being an orphan, or the painfully obvious plot twists, ones which can be seen from a mile away.

In terms of performances, there's not much to do for Kriti Sanon except for looking really pretty. Varun Dhawan has done this kind of goofy man-child role in Main Tera Hero before; he's pretty much the same here.

Kajol looks simply stunning, she's aged beautifully. Her acting credentials were never in doubt, but she's saddled with such a hopeless role and cringeworthy dialogue.

Shah Rukh sleepwalks through this role, just like he's done in Happy New Year and Chennai Express. He's an absolute bore; his eyes grim and his face stoic.

What is most disappointing is that the hullabaloo surrounding this movie was about the coup that Shetty managed to pull off with SRK and Kajol, unquestionably Bollywood's most chemically potent pair, and yet their chemistry is almost non-existent in Dilwale. Not being able to capitalize on SRK-Kajol's pair just goes to show what a shoddy mess the movie is. Yes, there are the occasional sparks, like the silent nod to the 'palat' scene from DDLJ, but those are few and far between.

Almost all the lines fall flat, which is disappointing, especially coming from dialogue writers like Sajid-Farhad. The scenes look farcical, the acting extremely fake, and the jokes forced. Barely a couple of laughs are generated, mainly due to the ever-reliable Johnny Lever and another Priyadarshanesque montage leading to a hilariously confusing story.

Shetty has always been 'inspired' by various films, as evidenced by the Golmaal series, Bol Bachchan and even Singham. With Dilwale, not only has he taken bits and pieces from trashy potboilers of the 80s, but this time he's gone further and taken a page out of a TV show.

In the middle of the once-amazing CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, protagonist Ted Mosby meets a woman called Stella, and due to shortage of time, he takes her on a two-minute date, an extremely endearing montage, and one of the highlights of the show. Our man Shetty blatantly copies the concept, and it's neither impressive nor heartwarming.

It's a shame to see Rohit Shetty start taking the audience for granted to such an extent. It's even more shameful that Shah Rukh Khan agreed to not only act in this mess, but also produce it. Dilwale is a mistake that will be difficult to erase.

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Varun Dhawan is proposing to Kriti Sanon. And in a bid to go all out, he plans to do the one thing that simply can't fail in Bollywood - SRK's arms-raised pose.

He prays, 'Bhaiya, sambhaal lena'. Sure, he gets the girl. But not even his bhaiya can save this atrocity of a movie.

I have no idea why this movie is getting higher ratings in here, must be bots up-voting the horrible movie. The movie was a pain to watch, with a handful of original comic moments. Shah Rukh Khan did a pretty horrible job of acting. Its disappointing that another bad movie of Shahrukh will do so well in the box office. Seriously, where are Bollywood's standards. I understand this is supposed to be a comedy/drama movie, but come on. Oh well, its made by Rohit Shetty, could not have expected anything better. The direction is horrible, more of a Tamil/Tollywood movie than a Bollywood movie. Cars flying, hero beating the crap out of 5-10 guys at once, I guess that turns on the audience.

When there's Kajol and Shah Rukh in a movie together, naturally the expectations are monumental! Everyone expects something epic, a romance of a lifetime. But alas, the movie was cheesy, predictable and filled with the typical Hindi movie punch lines and boring slapstick comedy.

The story and concept of the movie is nice, but the execution and dialogues are no different from the ones we have heard many times before. Frankly, I am a little disappointed in Shah Rukh for not choosing to produce and act in a movie of a more superior kind, considering he has enthralled audiences for 20+ years now, he should deliver performances worthy of a veteran!

Varun Dhawan and Kriti Sanon are cute in the movie with their adorable teenage style romance, but I would say that kajol is the scene stealer here. She looks breathtakingly gorgeous and her eyes convey her emotions. She is a fabulous and seasoned artist!

The songs are mediocre, Gerua is the only track that leaves a lasting impression. The stunts and car sequences are interesting and of international standard, it keeps the audiences hooked!

Overall, the movie was breezy and nice, but also not upto my expectations personally, because at this stage in Shah Rukh's career he should be making meaningful movies rather than the same old masala genre. Watch it if you like typical massy masala films like his previous 2 outings, chennai express and happy new year. If you are looking for something classy or different, Dilwale is not the film for you.

It is hilarious to see the first 4 pages of reviews of Dilwale has a 10* rating which was rather surprising to me. So I go in to the profile of each of those people and there you have it most of the reviewers had joined IMDb in Dec and this is the only movie they have rated.

It is just sad when movie makers have to create fake profiles and rate the movie high so the public would fall for it and watch the movie. But this is such a sad strategy as we can not be fooled for long.

I wanted to check the reviews first before watching the movie but thankfully the real reviews from real people have told me exactly what i needed to know!

what is wrong with SRK what happened to his picks this time he has crossed all the limits never thought this much pathetic stuff even Hny looks like a masterpiece which was pathetic too,the writer is the most lazy person and so lame he is so lazy that he forget to write the story but how could even someone say yes to this movie and that too if he is SRK,Is Rohit Shetty done a black magic on him even action wise he failed horribly and screenplay was the worst part everything was expected because of the glimpse of the flashback coming and it was not even worth it and trust me i am one of the biggest fan of Srk and if i am saying so bad against him then there is almost everything wrong with this movie shame on Srk and Kajol for doing this movie and put down th expectation of people please don't ever do Masala film again the talent that you have is unmatchable don't destroy by making this type of crappiest stuff do only intense serious films fan and Raees looks good though and not me every universe want you to see in a quality movie please think before you sign any project specially avoid Farah Khan Rohit Shetty this two are the biggest upset of your career in last few years world is cruel there is already so much negativity against you only way to stop them is by making good stuff they will shut there mouth but how will it happen if you continue to this type of stuff only 2 stars i have given just because some comedy and beautiful songs dilwale is total zero otherwise i am very sad writing all this but this is the epic disaster of all time.