Meteor Assault

There really isn't very much to say about this film. I feel like I've reviewed it already in one of my reviews of at least a dozen other cheesy low budget disaster movies. Take, for example, the other films of director Jason Bourque, including STONADOS, DOOMSDAY PROPHECY, and SEATTLE SUPERSTORM. Those three and this one are so similar that it's as if Bourque is spending his life remaking the same movie.

Anyway, you know the score by now and if you don't, well, my recommendation is to avoid like the plague. Meteorites are striking Earth and laying waste to various global landmarks, and only a renegade scientist has the knowledge or know-how to stop the attacks. There's a whole lot of running around, some scientific mumbo-jumbo talk, and lots of cheesy CGI scenes of meteorite strikes.

The first thing that becomes apparent is that ASTEROID: FINAL IMPACT has little to do with asteroids, and the original title, METEOR ASSAULT, was a much better fit. The second thing is that this is a Canadian movie, so perhaps even cheaper than its contemporaries. The third is that there are no 'guest name' actors here, unless you include Lochlyn Munro (UNFORGIVEN), and I don't. It's not worth bothering with, anyway.

I love this kind of movie but why are they so bad? Surely the people responsible have seen a disaster movie, Deep Impact comes to mind, it was a great movie. Why waste the money and your credibility? It's not even a fun bad movie, again Why.

The standard disaster movie formula. A whistleblower on his project is ostracized. Naturally, he is the only person that can detect and deflect danger. His family does not understand him. Other than his loyal brother, he is being shunned by friends and is at odds with the government for letting out their dirty little secret.

Now in the final countdown will the snotty controller listen? Of course not.

It is up to a team of outsiders and the whistleblower to act on their own and doge the FBI pursuit.

Bad acting, bad chemistry, bad characters, impossible domestic situations, and worst of all an unbelievable final solution. Wait a minute I have it; let's use pepper spray on the asteroid.

Go ahead and kibitz. Do not look outside as this may be real. It may be the last review I ever write. Thank you for reading this with just minutes left.

Funny that this kind of movie still exists. What do you do when you have a microscopical budget in comparison to big budget Hollywood flicks. You can try to stand out with an original story or approach, some experimental cinematography, a strong performance by a yet unknown actor,... Or you can try to copy Hollywood and make a movie that gives you small samples of a possibly ok CGI finale to a mediocre story portrayed by untalented actors filling the gaps with an overload of uninspired dialogue that results into a huge disappointment. Somehow this crap is still being made and thus being profitable.

I don't know why the ratings for this movie are so low. It's honestly not a bad TV disaster movie. The graphics are actually quite good for a TV movie, despite other reviews. I mean what are you expecting? Big budget graphics? No way. But this movie does well. I've seen every disaster movie ever made and the CGI in this movie is far superior to most other TV disaster movies. Some were just laughable, but not here. The plot is a tad recycled, but a bit new. The acting was also good. I've seen bad acting, and this movie doesn't come close to bad acting. Great? No. Bad? No. Give it a try acting and decide for yourself. Anyone who likes disaster movies should appreciate it. Though I would have liked to see a bit more disaster scenes, I'm quite pleased with this movie.