Amityville Playhouse

Acting was the worst I have ever seen in my entire life. It was so bad I even had to threaten Virgin Media that if they did not refund me, I would leave them for another service provider.

Sir I am sorry, we can not give you a refund "A gaggle of thoroughly obnoxious college students decide to spend the weekend in an abandoned Amityville cinema that one of the kids inherited from her dead parents. Of course it's haunted and a bunch of bad stuff happens: bad special effects, deliciously lousy scriptwriting, cack- handed direction and, above all, truly atrocious acting, attaining a level of ineptitude and woodenness that would shame the cheapest amateur porn film.

In fact, it's so bad one starts to wonder if it's all not some kind of elaborate satanic joke that induces a kind of giddy, demonic hilarity."

Your refund will be credited to your next statement Sir.

So here's yet another person who thinks they can try their luck at writing and directing a 'horror' movie simply because they are a fan of horror movies and fresh out of college. The writer and director (I used those words loosely ) is sure a fan of the original Amityville the he decided to investigate and see if you could make a film using the Amityville name whilst having nothing at all to do with err... Amityville.

So first off what he did was insult many fans of the original movies.

The writer and director even admitted that only 3 people EVER went to see this movie on its short cinema release. Those 3 people being the writer himself and 2 producers. Says a lot right there.

Don't even read on.. Don't give this trash any more attention and it should go away.

The acting (with the cringe-worthy, yet oddly humorous script playing an equal part) was sooo bad, I frequently burst out laughing. Yet, I couldn't turn it off. It was one of those "so bad, it's good" kind of movies. I imagined this would have possibly frightened me if I was a child, or perhaps an anxious teen...

Nothing at all significant happens and you may find yourself scratching your head in confusion as the credits roll, but it will give you something to laugh about if you can let go of any expectations and approach this movie light-heartedly. I would actually recommend this to those who can appreciate a really wonderfully awful movie. :)

The Plot

Following the tragic death of her parents Fawn Harriman discovers she has inherited a theatre in the town of Amityville.

She, along with 3 friends, decides to spend the weekend there looking the place over.

Meanwhile one of her High School teachers begins an investigation into the village's past and makes a connection with something that goes back beyond recorded history.

Lovely.

If you like no production values.

If you like the worst acting ever.

If you like hollow sounding audio.

If you like poorly written and directed films, you might like this movie.

They should have included "horror" in the title because it's horrible.

Nothing -- and i mean nothing -- happens in this movie. It is a stinker

Chances are if you're watching a non-80s or even 90s amityville film you know you're in for bottom of the barrel stuff.

Amityville Theater is no exception. Extremely light on horror elements, this plays more like a mystery thriller and a bad one at that.

The camerawork is decent which is about the only positive thing I can say about this film.

Only for the Amityville completists, everyone else watch your community theater, they probably do a better job.